(Closed) Are you planning to stay at home with baby #2?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

candy11 :  That is a very intense schedule! And I completely understand the feelings of jealousy not being his primary caregiver. But you know he is being taken care of by someone who loves him just as much as you!

I was very career oriented as well but our plan is for me to be a Stay-At-Home Mom after #2 until the kids are in school. Unless we try for #3. Then I will have to go back to work to make sure to get another year of paid leave. Darling Husband isn’t sure if we can swing it but I’m going to work very hard at saving over the next 2 years to make it work!

Post # 3
Member
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

candy11 :  Darling Husband and I are lucky enough to be in the position that I can take our son to work with me. I’m so thankful that I work for my Dad’s company and that its possible for me to care for my son and earn (and save) money for us. Darling Husband works full time also. 

Whenever baby number 2 comes along I’ll be brining him/her to work with me also. If I were working a regular job, daycare wouldn’t be an option for us and I’d be staying home now, as well as after having a second baby. I’d then return to work after they were in school. 

Post # 6
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

To give a different perspective….I sah now with my first born. We have talked about me going back to work and if we do have a second, I probably wouldn’t stay home with them. Being a Stay-At-Home Mom has been difficult for me. While I feel blessed to have been able to do it, it’s challenging in ways I never thought of. I struggle so much with the idea of not seeing my child 8-10 hours a day but I’m not fulfilled with staying home. Both situations have so many negatives and positives. 

Post # 8
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think that’s selfish at all! I completely understand and respect your ideas. I agree with much of what you said which is why, for me, it’s a very difficult decision to go back work.  I know there are parts of me that would be more satisfied with working and in turn would make me happier and a better mom. But on the flip side there are so many negatives like missing my son and not being his primary caretaker. I’m in the midst of trying to figure out if the positives outweigh the negatives or vise versa. Probably why I haven’t gone back yet! 

Its great that you will have the opportunity to be at home with your second. As hard as it’s been for me, I wouldn’t have traded the experience I’ve had thus far! 

Post # 9
Member
300 posts
Helper bee

candy11 :  I disagree, I don’t think no one can do a better job than parents. Maybe it’s just me, but there’s no way I could provide the same stimulation, structure and socialising that a great daycare can provide because there are always errands to run and things to do around the house. It’s really interesting, my nieces and nephews who went to daycare are so much more independent and social than the ones who didn’t. That said, there are massive differences between daycares and I’d never put my kids into the ones where the staff just babysits while the kids play with the toys. Just my $0.02.

Post # 12
Member
1661 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Stay home with your little ones if that’s what you really want and you can afford it.

Not a mom yet but I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate my job and I plan to stop working until our last child is in school at least. I make really good money but it’s not my passion by any stretch and I find it such a bore. Whenever I’m at home, it’s bliss.

I find being at home really fulflling but I really enjoy baking and cooking and gardening etc. And I’m an introvert so can go days and days without adult conversation (my Fiance is away a week a month and I literally don’t see anyone) and Type-A and I really feel I’d give A LOT more structure than anyone else haha. 

I have loads of friends who are SAHMs and their kids all hang and go to coffee in the park etc. I think it’s great 🙂 

Just do what’s right for you.

I grew up with my mom around and I am so thankful for that. But she loved it. She did so much fun stuff with us 🙂

Post # 13
Member
622 posts
Busy bee

I went to part time after my son was born, and plan to continue part time after having our second. Part of why I chose my career (I’m an RN) is the degree of flexibility–it’s relatively easy to get part time work, it isn’t all or nothing. We need the income as a family, but I’m still home more often than not. Another reason it is important for me to stay in the workforce is that I do plan on going back to working full time at some point once the kids are older, and a 5-7 year gap is not very employable, not to mention how out-of-date and rusty my skills would be.

Post # 14
Member
2166 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

candy11 :  this is exclusively our plan! We just had our first in August and I was heartbroken to go back to work, absolutely crushed to be leaving my daughter. 

After much discussion we decided we will try for baby #2 when Dear Daughter is about 3 and at that time we want no debt, one car completely paid off and a decent sized nest egg in savings. Darling Husband is also looking to find a step up in his career right now with plenty of time to make another advancement or two before having another baby. Setting these goals has helped both of us because I know there’s an end in sight for me so I can stay home and take care of little ones which I never ever knew is what I was going to want but I absolutely love being a mom more than anything in the entire world.

Post # 15
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

tillymac :  this is me too! I hate my job, I can’t wait to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. I love to be at home. Fiance and I are slowly working towards this goal, his mother was at home too and he is happy for me to do this. How do you cope with waiting and forcing yourself to go to work each day.. I just want to start trying right now! 

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