Are You Pregnant? Nope – just fat.

posted 2 years ago in Wellness
Post # 2
Member
1665 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I got asked pretty often after getting married if I was pregnant yet. I was just honest and said we weren’t trying yet. 

I think it’s a pretty common thing to be asked hun

Post # 3
Member
625 posts
Busy bee

🙄 I have been married for 10.5 years and have two kids so I know I’ve gained about 20 pounds from my former skin and bones self. I wouldn’t consider myself heavy, but the problem is It seems to be carried mostly in my mid section. And then I have a bubble butt which I like, but its surprisingly horrible for the effects of my big belly lol. I had a lady at my church come up and say, “are you expecting??” When I said no, she was like, “don’t lie!” Um why would I lie about that?? People are dumb. They expect women to be either skinny or pregnant. News flash: we come (and change) in all shapes and sizes. Anyway, I can relate…

Post # 4
Member
4858 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

“Normal” isn’t the word I would use. But yes, bloated? Tired? Got a zit? Everything becomes a pregnancy accusation. Rude af. 

Post # 5
Member
306 posts
Helper bee

I cannot even believe people ask this question. Crazy insensitive. Could be weight gain, could be body shape, could be a woman who  *was* pregnant but lost her baby…my gosh. Just no. 

I’m sorry you’ve been on the receiving end of rude!!! 

Post # 7
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee

Not married, but I’m already being asked when I’m going to have kids. Like, seriously, are you actually asking about when I plan to be having unprotected sex? I find it so inappropriate!

So, basically, I’d say it’s common, but rude af.

Post # 8
Member
6592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

bluecutie00 :  This is really bizarre.  One person? sure, it’s  one-off and they didn’t learn manners. But so many?  I don’t think it’s normal at all, even if you were just married and they’re being nosy. Heck, people saw me at 6 months+ and were still afraid to ask just in case they offended me (I didn’t announce at work, just let them figure it out for themselves).  If you want to go to the gym, knock yourself out, but don’t do it because the people you know have zero filter, do it because it’s something you want to do.

Post # 9
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

It’s really odd … no one ever asked Darling Husband or I when we would start trying, and I was never asked if I was pregnant. 

Even now, waddling around about to explode in my third trimester people still haven’t commented. I like to think my resting bitch face makes people want to avoid that conversation all together. 

My ex used to say telling people you were pregnant was the weirdest way to tell people you were having sex, and he never understood why people were so eager to ask the question all the time. 

Sorry people are so rude Bee! I’d just be like, “No. But when are you due?!”

Post # 13
Member
503 posts
Busy bee

lol I was at the beach one day with my ex. I don’t wear two pieces any more cos I got a belly now … just cos I’m chunky. So I had on a tankini. This dude who was behind us says to me “when are you due” and I’m just looking at this idiot like when am I due?! I’m not pregnant!!! He just says oh. No apology from him or his wife. People are assholes sometimes. Like just because we looked like a younger couple doesn’t mean we are only there to breed! I got asked on the T once too if I was pregnant… like REALLY PEOPLE?!

Post # 14
Member
393 posts
Helper bee

Can’t tell you how much it winds me up when people twist everything into me/us/women being pregnant…like I have vertigo and had a bad dizzy spell at work so obviously naturally someone presumed I was pregnant. If I’m sick then naturally I’m pregnant (I mean only pregnant people get sick right?!). I hear it all the time with newlyweds “oh she’ll be pregnant soon”. I’ve had people ask me if I’m pregnant, I’m not married, but as soon as I met my Fiance I’ve been asked how long it’s going to be!!!! And then I have to inform them that we can’t have children.

people celebrate babies and that’s amazing but it’s so intrusive sometimes!!

Post # 15
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

This question really chaps my ass for a few reasons…it’s incredibly personal and frankly intimate (maybe more than a lot of people realize); it can imply an observation about your body/weight, even if that’s not what prompted the question; and what if you are trying and having a hard time??  My grandma innocently asked me if I was pregnant, right after our first month of trying was unsuccessful and I had just started AF that morning- it was the last thing I needed to hear. 

The less-adult part of me really wants you to respond to those questions with a dramatic “No, I’m not pregnant. I put on a little weight after my wedding and have been trying not to feel too bad about it. I was actually starting to feel good about my extra curves, but everytime someone asks me if I’m pregnant, it’s such a slap in the face.” And then stare forlornly off into the distance and walk away.

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