Post # 31
bluecutie00 : I’m only 26 and have already been “reminded” that I don’t have all the time in the world and not to get too wrapped up in my career. This happened as I was discussing my plans for the next 5ish years and possibly moving to another country for work. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with the drama if everyone finds out I’m not having children…
Post # 32
bumblebug : In my opinion, you do though. You do have all the time in the world and you should get all wrapped up in your career (if that’s what you want to do now). I’m 37 (just had my first child) and being 26 again would be awesome! Oh man, move to that other country if you want to. Because you’ll be 37 like me and wonder where your 20’s went!!
Post # 33
ohplease : I definitely will! I know they all mean well, but maternity care has gotten so much better since they were young (and it was never great in the soviet union where my family is from) and there’s no time limit for adoption :). Also, everyone in my family has had kids young. My grandparents on my dad’s side are 85 and 83 this year and I’m 10 years younger than their oldest grandkid. So they’re used to young marriages and young parents in my family.
My ownly delay in moving is making sure Fiance is able to move with me without ruining his career chances – which will probably cause a ~2-3 year delay. But definitely going! I don’t want to regret not taking a chance while I’m young and not settled.
Post # 34
I was unexpectedly introduced to a neighbor for the first time when she looked me up and down, and excitedly asked, “Are you expecting???” I calmly replied, “uhmmm, nope”, and she responded, “oh, WELL, you LOOK like it!”………… I kinda awkwardly looked around and just said, “nope!”. I still don’t get it, and you know what, it really did sting a little. I’m telling myself it was because of my boobs. I can accept that.
I can’t believe that not everyone knows by now, to just never, ever, ever ask a woman if she’s pregnant, even if she looks 8.5 months pregnant. Just don’t. Once she says she is, then go for it.
Post # 35
bluecutie00 : omg I would be so offended b/c even if you WERE pregnant, what business is it of theirs (unless family, and even then I would be pissed)?
It is my opinion that the people asking are rude/ignorant.
I was always taught to NEVER ask if someone is pregnant. EVER.
Post # 36
summerlove23 : YUP!!! I 100% AGREE!
Post # 37
Yep yep and yep, in the same shoes as all of you. Actually, a coworker asked me in front of everyone if I was pregnant and when I said “no, absolutely not, why would you ask that?” He responded with, “oh because you are glowing.” So naturally, I had to respond snarkily and said “well I guess my new skin care routine is working” 🤣
When I decide to have kids, and I’m past 3 or 4 months pregnant, that’s when I’ll tell you. People drive me bonkers
Post # 38
I feel this so much! These past few months Darling Husband and I have been vacationing and I have gained 30lbs this last year :/ I get pregnancy questions all the time and laughed it off at first, but I have to admit it’s getting to me and makes me feel self concious.
Post # 39
blondie603 : I can’t believe they didn’t even apologize. What did your ex do? People are so rude – and I feel like they always feel the need to poke and prod with women, maybe even more than men. Like, I never go up to a guy with a huge beer gut and ask him if he has a stomach tumor, or eating issues, or diabetes…or whatever. But, they’ll come up to us and ask 20 questions. So rude!
missbennett : Same thing with me! I had a headache – and my colleague told me that was because I was pregnant. OR it could just be that I have a headache! So annoying.
n00bee : It is incredibly instrusive. Darling Husband and I had a miscarriage 2 years ago, so with people constantly asking me, it sometimes makes you reflect on that scary and horrible experience. I know they don’t mean to hurt, but they don’t know what couples are going through. Maybe we don’t want kids. Maybe we can’t have kids. Maybe we’ve been trying and it’s not happened for us yet. It’s polite not to inquire until I have “news” to announce, you know?
Post # 40
stressedlady : That chart is right on. In fact, I have sometimes almost felt rude because I have NOT acknowledged someone’s very obvious pregnancy. However, I do not do so until the person does. I’ve been on the receiving end of this myself at a gym, and I informed the well-meaning trainer that I wasn’t pregnant, just fat. I also know of people who have miscarried in the range of 20 weeks who still looked pregnant and had to answer questions as to how their pregnancies were going when they had just lost their babies.
Post # 41
cyan : That is SO rude – shoving alcohol in your face to “sniff out” if you’re pregnant. I’d be pissed.
cmsgirl : OMG! That’s too much!! I obviously need to donate my entire closet in that case. lol
mrsptobe2017 : Definitely using this to motivate me to getting back on the diet train (I finished my cheesecake tonight, so tomorrow can be a fresh start. lol).
bee123456789 : BAHAHA. What was your church member going to do? Give your husband a tutorial? Insane. I honestly think church people are the worst with this. They’re a bit nosy by nature. Don’t let anybody rush you into something you’re not ready for, or convince you to have children if you don’t want to. They can shove it.
ohplease : Yeah – I’m definitely lacking in retorts to these baby-making questions. I normally just say no and change the subject. But a sassy response would definitely make me feel better.
totallyabee : Idiots. That would have to be the world’s biggest embryo for you to be showing at 2 days. I’m glad other ladies can relate to this struggle though…
Post # 42
I had a girl at my work ask me, and it was SO inappropriate. She was new, and it was so awkward. I said “No – just fat I guess, thanks…” and left it really awkward LOL.
Post # 43
twentytwenty : Oh my gosh! He physically touched your stomach?!? Was he drunk? I don’t take kindly to that – we probably would have gotten in a fight. So rude.
itsachickenwingthing : I can’t believe people even ask teenagers if they’re pregnant – that’s really sad. Girls are so scrutinized at such a young age. It’s no wonder women have so many body image issues.
catskillsinjune : LOL. It’s almost like everything we eat, any sickness we have is put under “the baby making” microscope. I feel like I’m being watched, you know?
kinneybride : So sorry about your MCs – I hope it happens for you. <3 I agree – I don’t think people mean any harm, but I’ve also been where you are. And it’s so painful when you want children and you’ve been through hardships conceiving – only to have somebody poke and prod about it. Not a good feeling.
bewitched : Love this. I may have to start using this strategy.
beachykeenbee : LOOOOOOVE this! I’m not sure if I’m bold enough to say it – but if I don’t say it out loud, I’ll definitely be thinking it. Priceless.
Post # 44
Post # 45
LilliV : Agreed. It’s extremely rude and hurtful – even if they don’t mean harm. And I love all of your responses. And love even more that you’re on the other side with a healthy daughter. Congrats on that.
skunktastic : I genuinely wonder what that thought process looks like. Because usually, if I suspect somebody’s pregnant, I turn to Darling Husband and say “I think she’s pregnant.” And, that’s the end of it. No inquiring. No questioning. Not until the couple is ready to announce their news to me.
jade31 : Well, I told her I wasn’t pregnant – just fat. So hopefully she knows that includes pizza.
bumblebug : That’s ridiculous. First of all, you’re 26. You have plenty of time to have children. (We’re the same age, btw). And second of all, it’s none of their damn business whether or not you decide to have children. Not having children doesn’t make you less of a person.
ohplease : Agreed 1000%
summerlove23 : I would be super passive aggressive to her for forever after that – no lie. So rude.
avprobeauty : Me too! I would NEVER ask anybody about when they want children or if they were currently pregnant. I was raised not to. It’s something you just don’t do.
MissZToMrsG : Wow. And he did that in front of everybody? I would have pulled him to the side and addressed it. So freaking rude.