(Closed) Are. You. SERIOUS?!?!?!?! (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Its sounds like it may be better if she doesnt come to your wedding. But that would be very dissapointing. Are you two close? I think you are going above and beyond and being exteremly nice to even offer to help her out. Usually it is the other way around..people usually help the bride and groom pay for things.

Post # 5
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t deal well with that!  I can see why you needed a vent.  What a stupid thing to say!

Post # 6
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry!

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That completely sucks!  Try not to let it get to you too much. 

Post # 9
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

what is so expensive for her? something to wear? tell her to wear something she owns. that’s ridiculous!

Post # 10
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@kitzy: seriously! and now you offered her a free ride.  did you ask her what was so expensive?  maybe she means getting you a gift.  tell her she is not obligated and you would rather come with not gift!  after that though, i wouldn’t bother.

Post # 11
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

that would really get on my nerves and hurt my feelings.  Maybe you could talk to her again …. about the costs of things, and what exactly is the part for her, that is expensive.  Maybe point out how much you want her there.  It sounds like she really is trying to get out of it.  Good luck

Post # 12
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I am confused… what is expensive for her? A dress?

Post # 13
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@lefeymw: Yeah I’m wondering the same thing. How is GOING to a wedding expensive? Especially when you are offering the transportation? Jeez. Some people just have odd (read: ridiculous) reactions to weddings..

Sorry you’re dealing with this. Seems really petty of her.

Post # 14
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

My initial thought was that the Aunt didn’t mean that the wedding was expensive for her, but was expensive for the bride.  This statement might’ve been the Aunt’s way of trying to save the bride some money.  With her not attending, the bride could save some money on food and on the transportation that they’re paying for.  My guess is that the aunt didn’t want to be a financial expense for the bride. 

The other thing is that maybe the Aunt feels like she can’t afford to give a gift that is acceptable for the wedding.  Maybe she feels that going to a wedding without a gift is inappropriate and, therefore, would not want to be embarrassed by going without a gift.  Maybe she thinks that there’s no way she can give a gift that she would like to give due to financial reasons?  Especially after reading a few posts where guests didn’t give a gift and the brides were ticked off here on the bee. 

I am sure that, if it’s the case of not having an appropriate gift, this older aunt has had it drilled into her head that eitquette states you bring a gift to a wedding or you don’t attend.  If that’s how she feels, there’s not much you can do about that. 

 

Post # 16
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

she sounds grumpy and annoying. Don’t allow these types to suck your energy.

Have fun with your preparations 🙂

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