(Closed) Are you still friends with no-shows/ how did you handle it

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What did you do when someone that rsvp'd to your wedding never showed up and gave no explanation.
    Confront them : (25 votes)
    25 %
    Said nothing : (74 votes)
    75 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We had 9 who cancelled last minute including two who came to our ceremony and then left before the reception by telling us they wanted to go do touristy stuff while in the area rather than just being stuck eating dinner all night. Most were family so we don really have a choice to still be in contact with them but were still friends with the friends. No real good reasons… A few that had to work at the last minute I guess. 

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    16214 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    We definitely had a few no-shows at our wedding. I’d be lying if I said my feelings weren’t a little hurt, but I’m not going to hold it against them forever. There was no confrontation or anything. They were invited to our wedding because they are important to us, and even a no-show won’t change that. 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Honestly things happen, people forget. Yea it sucks because you “wasted” money but it’s no reason to end a friendship or confront them. If you happen to pass by them again or it gets brought up just say like “Oh we really missed you!” and leave it at that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I had one couple no-show. I never really knew the wife, but I am still friends with the husband. I was pissed that he forgot about the wedding and went out of town that weekend, but he’s otherwise a good guy, so I decided I wouldn’t let it affect our friendship.

    Post # 7
    Member
    472 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We had four people that didn’t show up (separate groups), and didn’t let us know before hand. I wasn’t exactly surprised, because these were people that Darling Husband felt obligated to invite even though we aren’t close to them and they are kind of flaky. But it was really frustrating since it is so expensive per person, and we could have given the caterer a lower head count if we had been given a few days notice. Darling Husband was really upset about it, and we no longer really consider them friends even if we weren’t that close to begin with. But we didn’t confront them or anything.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We had only one person who didn’t show up and didn’t get in touch to explain why.  I am no longer in contact with this person.

    Basically, I’m 30 and I don’t need this in my life.  I can see having big dramatic confrontations if I were in my early twenties, but in my advanced age, I’ve realized that the people I want in my life don’t act like douchebags.  🙂

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i’m going to be SO upset if this happens to me.

    and i’d consider breaking up a friendship over it. i don’t know how direct i’d be with it, but i’d definitely go out of my way to ignore these people.

    unless there was an emergency, it’s a completely selfish and heartless thing to do.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I let the friendship die a quiet death. She no-showed to my bachelorette, shower, and wedding. She sent the message loud and clear that she no longer cared to maintain our friendship, so why should I bother to keep trying?

    Post # 11
    Member
    4522 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Gemstone:  exactly. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No-shows are something I’ve never worried about because to me it isn’t about who doesn’t show up, it is about the big picture. I really do understand (since I am planning my own wedding) that you do have to pay a certain amount for each person, but to me, in the grand scheme of things the price per no-show doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal. I’m mean yeah I could look at it as a waste of money, but really spending ANY amount of money over what is required to actually get married is a “waste” of money. It is something I want to spend money on, so to me it isn’t a waste, but it isn’t required that I spend that money to be legally married. Just how I view it. No-Shows have been bothering my sister (who is also getting married) and she pretty much is saying that if they don’t show up after they said they would she doesn’t want anything to do with them after the wedding. So I guess she and I are on complete different sides with this.

    Post # 15
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @kaycee1:  I’d be ticked off too, but is it worth ending a friendship over? I think it all depends on circumstances, and generally I am not friends w. flaky people, but if you have a big wedding, there’s bound to be a few no-shows.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1668 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We only had 2 no shows.  I was shocked! I expected many more (my sister had 13!) They actually congratulated us and wished us well the next time they interacted with hubs.  No mention of missing the wedding at all.  People are truly weirdos.

    ETA:  This didn’t stress me too much because in anticipation of last minute cancellations and no shows I shorted the number to the caterer so we didn’t end up wasting any money.

     

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