Are you taking his name? Why/why not?

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
Post # 91
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

I’ll take his last name on paper i.e. For bills, mortgages etc but my passport will have to remain in my own name for the next 9.5 years as I just renewed it. Also I’m keeping my own name in my workplace as I’m a public point of contact and my name is well known in the industry where I work and it would only confuse my clients if I changed my name (and email address!)

Post # 92
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I am changing my name. I like the idea of us having a family name and I also prefer his surname to my own!

Post # 93
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

Isilme :  You could just have both of their first initials on the towels. Was it towels? I can’t remember. 

ETA: You could ask her what she would prefer…let her know that it’s meant to be a surprise but you want to be sure you give her something that she’s comfortable with and will like (I assume that is your goal).

Post # 94
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

Ahh this is a big one for me actually. I don’t have any advice to you because I could maybe use some advice myself. 

My problem is that I’ve always been traditional in the sense that I always wanted to take my husbands last name. Until now. My Boyfriend or Best Friend soon to be Fiance is Lebanese and I am Croatian. I LOVE my last name… his last name is super Middle Eastern-y and I know there are a lot of bad connotations that can come from having a last name like his. I hate to sound racist or anything like that because I’m not, I just really dislike his last name and I dread having it… but I love him more than anything in the world and I know how much me having his last name would mean to him.

Any advice?

Post # 95
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

libertine_lady :  I will definitely be switching mine. It represents unity and becoming a family. Aside from that, I hate having such a long, difficult to pronounce and spell name. My fiance’s last name is simpler! Changing my name with work stuff will be a pain, but oh well, IMO it’s completely worth it. Having the same name as my husband is more important.

Post # 96
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

Im super umdecied i go back and forth daily ideally id like to name blend which is becoming popular in europe but my partner wpuld rather just have me keep my name or change it no blend. To add complications my name is offically hyphenated i usually use just one name which is my bio mothers and has become part of my identity buttt shes not in my life so sometimes my dads side gets offened that i use that name so my name is already a source of drama before factoring in changing it, on the surface changing my name would solve that as well as free me 100% from my birth mother on the other hand thst name has always been apart of me and giving it up isnt that easy mentally. 

Post # 97
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

Oh and to add to mine we plan to adopt and im not sure how names will affect that

Post # 98
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

musicluvr325 :  haha jump up in line! That’s made me laugh, and then I realised I’m going down 😛

Post # 99
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I don’t have a middle name so I’ll make my current last name my middle name and then take his last name 🙂 

Post # 100
Member
2928 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I think I’m going to take my FI’s name and make my maiden name my middle name. My maiden name is a nice name for a boy so if I don’t keep it and have a boy, I’ll keep my name in the family. Fortunately, my Fiance has said it’s up to me. While he would like me to take his name, he woukdn’t get upset if I wanted to keep my maiden name.

Post # 101
Member
29 posts
Newbee

My Fi doesn’t care either way, he says he wouldn’t change his name so he doesn’t see why he would ask me to change mine.

I like the idea of becoming part of his family though and the name symbolizes that I think and he has a cool last name… so I’m just going to have a long-winded bouble-barreled name. No hyphen, just two last names, like Helena Bonham Carter, Rose Dewitt Bukater or Sacha Baron Cohen.

My name is going to be ostentatiously long, 12 syllables ( I already have two middle names:P) but I don’t even care haha. 

 

Post # 102
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Darling Husband and I both took my maiden name as second middle names. We are Mr. and Mrs. Dollie S.8. Seven. We have family unity, I can use whatever name I feel like because both are on my legal documents, and it feels ‘fair’. We picked the order by what sounded better together, not because taking his was more traditional. I feel so lucky that I have a man who was willing to go against tradition and change his name because it was important to me.

Post # 103
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Yes.  My fiance is traditional and this is super important to him.  He is also the last male with his last name.  I love my last name and am the last one with it too (my brother is gay and taking his man’s name) so I will likely change my middle name to it and if we ever have a child, make that his/her middle name as well.  I suggested we create a new last name and he did not like that lol!

Post # 104
Member
9 posts
Newbee

I’m changing my name to my future husband’s name and can’t wait! I’ve never considered NOT taking his name. However, I DID think about converting my current last name to my middle name but I actually use and like my middle name so, it won’t work for me. 🙂

Post # 105
Member
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I kept my maiden name legally and use my husband’s name socially. I hyphenate both names on unofficial documents and my social media. I did this for a few reasons:

1. I have an Irish last name and am primarily of Anglo-Celtic descent. My husband is part Italian and of course has an Italian name. I identify with my heritage very much and didn’t want to give that part of it up. Also, I look Irish and would feel weird not having a name to match.

2. Like a lot of feminists, I’m not comfortable with the origins of the name change tradition.

3. I just didn’t want to do all the paperwork or be stuck in line at the DMV/social security office for hours.

 

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