(Closed) Are you the first of your friends to get married?

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 76
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We will be the first. I just feel odd. My FI’s friends are mostly single or not planning to get married (though in a serious relationship). On my side, most of my friends are in serious relationships, my best friend even for over 5 years! But they’re in no rush to get married, though they figure they will in the end (probably around 30). Among my relatives, I would be third- after my brother and a cousin. 

I feel odd because no one around me is considering getting married. It’s like I’m the odd ball for wanting to do this… ?

Post # 77
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I was the last in my wave of friends from school and med school, but moving to the city I made a whole group of new girlfriends and became the first, but slowly my girlfriends getting hitched there are two groups: getting engaged, married, committed  and second group unattached.

It changed some of my friendships, I say one doesnt even respond to my invites anymore, the other I have no contact; but most my friends I still keep in touch with

I think only time will tell who your real friends are; they’re still my friends but I must say I feel I’m in a different place now, some things I cant relate to anymore like going to expensive parties when I want to save for a house and I feel uncomfortable sometimes being chatted up by men at bars when I hang out; I still have fun with them, but there are some things I can’t really chat about, it’s different and I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable, sometimes I dont want to talk about how happy I am but he’s a part of me now; I know my friends are happy for me but I also know they want the same thing

Post # 78
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I was the first of my friends to get engaged, and Mr. Polar Bear was the first of his. Very few of mine actually got excited. Some were petty. His were just completely angry and resentful.

Literally, our engagement led him to be ostracized (because the gf of Mr. Polar Bear’s friend was angry/envious), and when I confronted his bes-friend about letting him get ostrasized, his best-friend flipped out and yelled at me for a good ten minutes…TWICE. Once because he was angry. Once while he was supposed to be apologizing for yelling at me. Nutters, all of them. Needless to say we don’t associate with those people anymore.

Post # 79
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yes we are the first of our friends and siblings. Our friends are very supportive and help a lot. It hasnt seemd to cause any problems except with one of FI’s friends. Idk whats wrong Fiance says hes uncomfortable with us getting married cause he thinks it will cause his gf to want to get married.. lame!!! lol

Post # 80
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We are the first among my friends (4th in my class) and one of the later ones among his friends. 

I am very lucky because most of my friends are really supportive! I’ve lost a couple of good friends along the way (one friend who i’ve been very close with since high school stopped talking to me almost completely), which is sad, but I try to focus on the future.

Post # 81
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am the first out of my friends (one was engaged but broke it off) but he isn’t the first or the last in his circle of friends. MOST of his friends are in relationships that are serious and long-term but no marriage.

Post # 82
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think friendships grow and change and people drift apart as we time goes on.  I’ll be 28 in two months and got engaged about a year ago.  Nothing changed.  I have one friend who got married in 2006 and another who just got married this month.  My friendships definitely aren’t the same as they were in college, or even in law school.  But I don’t think that’s necessarily a function of being engaged or married. 

Post # 83
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am 23 and the first of my friends to get married. BFF just went thru a divorce and shes a year younger than me, and the other 8 BMs not even in relationships. Fiance is 35 and all of his friends are married and have kids. I feel sometiimes like i relate more to them lately. Not only am I not going out and partying as much because we are getting married, Im not in college anymore, and have more responsibility at work. feels like a lot of changes though and I do feel like there is distance between friends 🙁 it really sucks. They are all amazing girls!!

Post # 84
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am the first of my friends and he has a few that are already married.

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