(Closed) Are you waiting until you say ” I do? “

posted 10 years ago in Christian
Post # 62
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

We’re waiting too.  4 more days!!

I’m honestly not nervous or anxious at all.  I know it won’t be perfect or fireworks, but I don’t care.  I love my Fiance and want to be with him.  We’ll learn together and practice a lot!!  And after being together for 3 years, we’re READY to get this show on the road. πŸ˜‰

Post # 63
Member
5385 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@piglet_625: Congrats!

Post # 64
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yep, we are waiting!  PTL we’re getting married in 13 days!  πŸ™‚

Post # 65
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

SO… I just got back from my honeymoon, and wanted to tell you girls who are waiting, that it was definitely worth waiting for. πŸ™‚

Sex is awesome… it’s so much fun!  Like everyone else has said, it was NOT perfect the first time… or the second… or the third… in fact, each time has been a little different, but the first time was really great (even though it was kind of painful at first).  With time and patience and lots of talking/honesty, it’s been getting better and better.

***Ok… so here’s some Too Much Information that i honestly wish someone would have told me before***

Everyone told me that it would hurt the first time and it did initially.  I actually cried, and we stopped.  After I relaxed, and tried to not focus on the pain, it actually felt pretty good.  BUT, we kept going, used lots of lube, and after the third/fourth time, it wasn’t painful anymore.  What people didn’t tell me is that it would be a smart idea to wear old underwear afterwards because you bleed a little and all the… ahem… fluids… flow back out.  Too Much Information and gross, but no one told me that! Embarassed

Also, I ended up icing my downstairs parts on the second day because everything was kind of sore.  I probably didn’t have to, but it made it feel better. πŸ™‚  Also, don’t try to be a superhero couple and have sex a ton of times on the first few days.  We tried to just because we thought we were supposed to be doing it ALL the time, but in the end, I was just more sore, and my Fiance was exhausted haha… poor guy. πŸ™‚  So, really, once a day, maaaaybe one day where you do it twice the first week, and that’s more of a realistic expectation of what is both comfortable, and doesn’t totally kill you. 

When people say you have sex on the honeymoon all the time, don’t think that means you need to do it 5 times a day every day.  Do what’s right for you both.  If you’re tired, he’s tired, you don’t feel like it… don’t do it.  Don’t do it because you’re on your honeymoon and are “supposed” to.  Now that we’re getting into the swing of it, we could totally do it twice a day if we have the time.  Just those first few days of getting used to it, don’t overdo it!

If you have questions, feel free to PM me.  I really am glad we waited, and would love to help others have great first experiences too!!

Post # 66
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I reall admire those of you who are waiting.  I did not.  I had a pretty wild childhood (first baby at 16 second and 17, married my first husband at 18, divorced when i was 19, then even wild after that).  My husband did not grow up like that, or have a wild child peronailty.  But how nice it would have been to save it for omeone so special. 

I have no idea how I even clicked on this (It was by “accident” so figure that one out)

Me and my  husband have been married now for almost 18 years (will do a VR in 2 years for our 20th anniversary)  so it didn’t hinder the relationship too much, but, I REALLY do wish I would have waited.  He would have been worth the wait for sure:)

It makes me funny though, he wa able to tame me.  He is an amazing person and nobody thought our marriage would last because I was just so crazy!  We know other 6 other couple who married in that same time frame…  Ours was the one who was snickered at and didn’t “get”  why he would marry me.  But he did:)

and its been awesome…  so, God bless those of you who are waiting, or did wait for “the one and only”…

 

Post # 67
Member
2371 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

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@piglet_625: Sometimes I really wish I had someone to ask those ‘awkward but still need to know questions’ so I might just take you up on that pm offer sometime. Oh and congrats on your wedding girl, I remember like yesterday when you were on the waiting board and then he proposed.

Post # 68
Member
3600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

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@piglet_625: I was going to tease you a little in your wedding thread about sex, but I held off so I would be a little more classy. Thanks for the update!

Post # 69
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

πŸ™‚ Waiting. He was saved a year ago, I’ve been a virgin for 24 years and told him I wasn’t compromising that for any reason and he really respects it (he’s not a virign). We’ve got a few months left and while we have had our moments of hard times (it’s REALLY had to wait when you love someone with your whole heart) it’s totally been worth it.

For me, it’s a combination of my faith and beliefs, and my own personal level of self-respect. I’ve always agreed that if you’re giving away the milk for free, no one is gonna wanna buy the cow… If someone loves me enough that they want a part of me (and don’t fool yourselves into thinking that sex is “just sex” – It’s been proven that you cannot have sex without becomming in some way emotionally attached to that person) then they love me enough to take the proper steps, man up and marry me πŸ™‚

Post # 70
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

We are waiting (although I haven’t waited in past relationships, sweetiepie has always waited, and once I made a new committment to God I decided I would wait). The waiting aspect does make me nervous though.

Post # 71
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yes we are waiting as well. I did not know that this area existed here and I am so excited! I’m so nervous about our wedding night. I know the biological ideas but without knowing how it actually feels it is just very scary. I am also afraid I will be a bumbling idiot and it won’t be nice for him. More than this even I am afraid of living together. Not to go into my personal life but I grew up in an orphanage and everyone steals your things well what little things you have. When I left at 18 I found a apartment and have lived in a much enjoyed solitude since with no one touching my things or sharing. I am afraid I may be a selfish or bad wife to live with.

Post # 72
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Definitely waiting.  It’s fairly easy to know if you are compatible.  My fiance and I know without a doubt, and we haven’t even kissed yet.  We are waiting until pronounced husband and wife.  Marriage is a covenant, and those things meant by God to be only in a marriage should be kept for that time.  You can say people should be together before because how else will they know if they are compatible?  How did that help all of those couples who are now divorcing?  Marriage is much more than physical compatibility.  God knows what He’s doing.  If He’s in your relationship, He will not lead you to marry someone you will not be compatible with.  When you respect each other and wait, your relationship can become so much more.  It’s a covenant between the two of you and God.  I’m not saying it can’t be if you don’t wait, but I think it can only be what it is intended to be if you follow God.  Most people don’t wait anymore, and it has caused a real mess in relationships and in the structure of the family.  It’s all disintegrating.  Plus, when you don’t wait, you carry your former relationships into your marriage.  I should know.  As an adult in my twenties, I just wanted to be “normal”.  I was not living a Christian life.  I had been abused as a kid and was scared of a lot of men and anything sex related brought up feelings of shame in me.  I made the biggest mistake of my life.  Just one boyfriend, and that will be with me for my entire life.  My fiance is a virgin, and I wish so much that I could say the same.  I regret my past so much.  I’m trying to see how I’m now pure in God’s eyes because of Christ.  Thank God for God’s saving grace!

Post # 73
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Definitely waiting, but it is STINKING HARD! πŸ™‚ Have come close though… But still holding up that standard. After all, it is what God tells us to do, and since I know he loves me and wants the best for me, I’m trusting that he knows what he’s doing. πŸ™‚ I can’t imagine giving myself to someone so completely without being married. Sex is THE ultimate physical connection, so I need the ultimate mental, emotional, and legal (haha) connection along with it! 

Post # 74
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@Running Elley: omg!!!! same here lol… he says he has been waiting for me for years… but i did not feel the same… he tells me it is ok but deep inside there is always what if…

Post # 75
Member
22 posts
Newbee

kala_way (message)    May 28, 2011   Manhattan Beach, CA

@Oribel013690: 

First, I agree that sex is an important part of a relationship, however, I don’t think it’s the most important part. Honestly, unless something extremely strange happened–like we were allergic to each other, like some couple I saw on Discovery Health–I think we can work out any issues regarding ‘compatibility’.

Second, as another poster said, we understand that it’s not going to be perfect the first time. It doesn’t have to be. We aren’t waiting so that there will be crazy fireworks the first time.

Third, it’s true that in many circles marriage is just a piece of paper. I think one of the points of waiting is that you are making the ceremony, the vows, the witnesses, the celebration all a part of the committment. A wedding isn’t just a big party to tell people you know that you’re changing your name. It’s a symbol of one way of life ending and a new one beginning, of two people coming together and starting something fresh.

Fourth, it’s not about how many sexual partners you’ve had, though ideally you’d have only one, it’s about marking the change in lifestyle. It’s going from 2 to 1 in a new committment, and for Christian’s it’s symbolic of Christ and the church.

 

Well said.

My boyfriend and I (we’re not engaged yet-soon I hope!) are both virgins and waiting. Sure, it’s difficult, but other people deal with far more difficult things than this. I’m a Christian and believe that sex is only meant for married people.

 The Bible says “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24. I think of sex as kind of like the literal illustration of the becoming one flesh part.

I’m so glad to see that there are others out there that are waiting like us.

Post # 76
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: February 2014

my Fiance and I are both virgins and we are waiting until we are married for sex. we are not getting married for three more years, got to get through nursing school! so its going to be a looooonnnnnnnggggg wait! I could use advise any of you ladies have on getting through the temptation? reading these posts already give me hope. I know it is only with Gods help we will get through. but it was a decision without question for both of us!

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