(Closed) Are you waiting until you say ” I do? “

posted 10 years ago in Christian
Post # 77
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee

You bet we are!

Post # 78
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We are waiting, although this is our 2nd marriage for each of us.  We both waited before our 1st marraiges, and both experienced things that made saving those marriages impossible.  We decided from the beginning that we would not have sex until we were married.  Boy….it’s a LOT harder the second time around, but we only have 35 days from today!

Post # 79
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am a virgin but my Fiance isn’t- and we are waiting! Kicking myself for having a 14 month engagement sometimes, but I know in the end we will be so happy that we waited and kept things in line with God’s word. It makes us that much stronger of a couple I think, too. So excited and encouraged to read all these posts!!! 

Post # 80
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@alliebug:  get accountability partners! Each of you have a friend that you keep updated on how you’re holding up. Once a week, bi-weekly, whatever you think is best for you! Oh, and don’t watch movies with the lights out in a house alone :p 

Post # 81
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We waited and it really made it special. As the wedding got closer it did get harder though πŸ˜› But I do believe it made us a stronger couple. It’s worth it! πŸ™‚

Post # 82
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

No, we didn’t wait.  We felt like our desire for this next step might influence our decision to get married, and didn’t want to rush something that we weren’t 100% ready for.  So we took the next step in intimacy when the time was right and we did the same for the next step in commitment to eachother. 

Post # 83
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are waiting. Our wedding is not until December 2013, so it’s going to be tough… but we both believe 100% that it’s the right thing to do. I’ve waited 25 years, so another year and 4 months won’t kill me. πŸ™‚ He has had sex before, but that was before he accepted Christ. I wish he had waited for me, but I don’t hold it against him.

Post # 84
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve been a Christian all my life but not always a perfect one. Neither has my Fiance. We aren’t waiting but I wish we could.

Also I wish we had been pure for eachother but since that ship has already sailed…whoops!

Having lost  my virginity 6 years ago (I still remember how painful it was), I just can’t imagine doing that on your wedding night. I mean GOSH! Nothing like “OMG OWWW!” to ruin a perfect day. It isn’t comfortable or pleasurable.

I do admire those who have the fortitude though! I’m glad it’s worth it.

A friend of mine who didn’t wait told me she was grateful she had that time while they were dating because she got pregnant on her honeymoon. She doesn’t feel like the premarital sex took away anything from their married sex life either so I’m not terribly worried.

Post # 85
Member
13 posts
Newbee

Yes. And although it is harder than I thought it would be, it will be worth it! We are still in early planning stages, but we are considering having an evening ceremony and an early afternoon reception the next day so we can begin our lives as one immediately!!

Post # 86
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We waited, and I am so glad we did. πŸ™‚ I like the fact that neither of us have been with anyone else.

Post # 87
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@brideatbeach:  

We didn’t wait either and happy as hell that we didn’t. Our daughter was a planned baby, I’m 21 and he’s 26, we are sooo in love and our little Kamryn is the sweetest little angel in the world! Our wedding is September 8, and she will be a year old on September 17 πŸ™‚

Post # 88
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I didn’t wait. I don’t regret it. That said, I respect those who do. Just don’t expect your first time to be amazing… it needs practise!

This said… I have two caveats. Firstly, I know people who got married at a very young age, when they hadn’t been with their SO for very long at all. When my friend suggested to one of them that they should wait until they had been together more than a few months, the serious reply was “I’ve waited long enough already!”.

I’m not saying that this applies to anyone on this thread. But I’m sure a lot of you know people who acted like that… bad news for any marriage, if you’re getting married just so you can have sex.

My second caveat involves a friend of mine who always said she would be a virgin on your wedding night. I always said “well, we’ll just have to see what happens. I’m not predicting the future either way”. Long before I had even started any sort of dating, she had slept with a boy, but “it was OK because we’re going to get married”. Then, of course, they broke up. She was then full of regrets, and decided that she was “impure” due to her “mistake” and that, as a result, it didn’t matter if she slept around as she was already ruined. I tried to convince her otherwise… but no. Again, not saying this applies to anyone here, but the all or nothing mentality in our society can be a real problem, I think.

The key is to have emotionally fulfilling, healthy, adult relationships regardless of the sex. It really is such a small part of life, and we obsess over it. I also don’t like the way that some religious groups think it is more of an issue than healing the sick, or aiding the poor. Not so sure Jesus would agree with that.

OK, rant over. Wishing everyone here all the best for their marriages… hope they are healthy and happy both inside and outside of the bedroom!

Post # 89
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@Rachel631:  Since this board is linked under “christian” (faith) it seems to me as though it is because of faith that they are waiting, myself included. 

Being 24 years old and a virgin isn’t common anymore, and I am completely aware that it takes practice and will not be amazing the first, or second time. But, I am also a follower of Christ that believes in the sanctification of marriage and believe exactly as it states about with holding from intimacy before marriage. I know everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, just thought I would bring up the fact that this board was made under the subject of “faith” and “Christian”, and that it is obvious that many people outside of Christianity and other religions do not find it to be a big deal to engage in premarital sex. 

That being said, Jesus didn’t categorize sin, and I completely agree with you on your statement about him not agreeing on that. I think some people of faith get carried away and forget to love the people, hate the sin. We all fall short, thank God for his grace πŸ™‚ 

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