(Closed) Are you/have you invited someone you REALLY dislike to your wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: have you invited someone you dont like?

    yes, family members

    no-one

    yes, partners of guests

    had my wedding and wished I hadnt invited someone

    Had my wedding, invited someone i didnt like and it turned out fine

  • Post # 62
    Member
    2041 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    One of my aunts. She was a total witch to me growing up and well into my adulthood, and I don’t want that kind of energy at my wedding. She wasn’t invited to my first one either. My parents know better than to try and change my mind, and I’ve already told everyone else that if someone sneaks her in as a +1, they’re automatically out. I’ll go Act 1 and Act 2 on them, forget just a scene. Screw that noise. She apparently told one of my uncles that she’ll go crazy mad if she doesn’t receive an invitation. Oh the foo well. Maybe you shouldn’t be such a shit to people then.

     

    ETA: Oops, NO were are NOT inviting anyone we don’t like. Luckily, there are no partners of friends that we dislike. Well, one, but it’s the college freshman girlfriend of one of the older kids. She’s not horrible, just kind of annoying, but we’ll hardly talk to her. I think the boy’s parents aren’t too excited about her being invited, lol.

    Post # 63
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We have a very close friend whose wife was a crazy, lunatic, bi-polar bee-atch. We love him and wanted him there, and she was a part of his package so etiquette dictated that we invite her.

    However, 3 months before the wedding, she about caught the office on fire and we had to tell him he was welcome but she was not. She threw a fit, threatened to kill him if he attended and ended up getting fired for the whole fire incident. 

    My advice is, you’re not obligated to invite anyone – for us, we had to break the etiquette rules for everyone’s comfort and safety.

    Post # 64
    Member
    2453 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    god I don’t want to think about it again. every time I think about it, I’m livid.

    Worst part of it? SO of the best man. FML!

    Post # 65
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Not engaged yet, but I already fantasize about eloping to avoid awkward situations like this. Like, sometimes when I can’t sleep I lay awake strategizing, hoping to have a game plan for when it really happens (since I don’t realistically think an elopement will go down very well with those that I actually care about). There are definitely people who I will invite, but wouldn’t be disappointed if they didn’t show up.

    But if I would really love to get away with not inviting one of my BILs. (A jackass who doens’t treat me or my younger sister like real family since his wife is biologically our half sister, even though it’s not an issue for anyone else.) I wouldn’t be upset if my oldest sister didn’t show up as well. (I told her that my SO had let it slip that he had an engagement ring, and her response was, “Yeah, whatever,” which is pretty typical of her at this point.) I think I will definitely not be expected to invite my father, and everyone else in my family is pretty cool! SO’s side of the family is tiny, and though SO is not close with his sister, but I can’t imagine him not wanting her to come, and I would stick to letting him make decisions for his side of the family. He does have some friends that I am hoping will be completely left in the dust by the time we set a date…. Hoping certain members of his family will learn act sensibly when alcohol is around…..Well, here’s to working up the courage to elope!

    Post # 66
    Member
    1906 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @smallstuff:  my best friend and MOHs partner, who is an absolute dick head ass hole. And yes, he treated her like shit again and at the end of the night she was balling her eyes out. Wish he never came 

    Post # 67
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    To be polite we’ve invited the awful girlfriend of my younger brothers best friend, B, who is like family to us. We all hate her (B’s friends and work colleagues even had an ‘intervention’ telling him to break up with the heinous bitch, but he didn’t) But he won’t come if she isn’t invited, and we really want him there. Not like I’m gonna have to talk to her or anything (hopefully!)

    Post # 68
    Member
    476 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    At first I refused to invite my brothers gf, bc she is an absolute b**** and has started serious drama with me. She has basically ruined my relationship with my brother. For his sake I decided to suck it up and invite her. He asked me to make another effort and I decided to be the bigger person. She has since dropped the attitude with me and was perfectly nice at my shower, but I’m still not thrilled she is going to be there on such an important personal day. She’s the type who would show up in white. Ugh I’m getting mad just thinking about it!

    Post # 69
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Yes. The only one I’m kind of dreading is FI’s cousin. He has a history of getting absolutely wasted at any opportunity, makes a fool of himself, annoys everyone around him and usually ends up puking. Hopefully I will NOT have to see him or speak to him much that day, and if he steals Fiance away from me at all during the evening (he has a habit of doing this at social events) I will seriously kick his ass.

    Post # 70
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    To keep the peace, yes we have.

    Fiance cousin who we both really dislike as she has always been a trouble maker and has upset me, Future Sister-In-Law, Fiance etc etc and more recently we foud out shes taking drugs and also ‘stole’ another family members 19 year old boyfriend (she’s 27). It goes on but decided to invite her as it wasn’t worth the fuss her mother would make if we didn’t. It would be highlighted that we were picking on her daughter blah blah….so yeh, she’s coming and I will just ignore her.

    Post # 71
    Member
    2943 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We’re still on the fence.  Nobody likes our friend’s Fiance, she is judgemental, obnoxious and has talked about me and all my friends.  Our friend seems aware of the fact that nobody likes her and she doesn’t come around much anymore. Also, he hasn’t been much of a “friend” in the past 2 years he’s been with her.  At first Fiance and I were prepared to deal with any drama over not inviting either of them, but since Fiance still occasionally hangs out with said “friend” when he’s off with his boys, he says he’d feel bad not inviting him.  We didn’t send them a save the date, but Fiance is considering talking to him about this and inviting him, but not her.

    I’m ok with him being there, but there is no way in hell I’d have his Fiance there.  She is the type of person that would come up to me with some passive aggressive comment about how I look on my wedding day.  On more than one occasion, she has walked up to some of my friends and point blank told them that their outfit was ugly, they were fat, etc….I’m not trying to have her making me or my friends uncomfortable on my wedding day!

    Post # 72
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yes. I really dislike FSIL’s fiance, but feel obligated to invite him. I’m pretty sure I would be shunned from FI’s family if I didn’t invite him

    Post # 73
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Yeah, unfortunately I have to invite one of my friend’s girlfriend. They’ve been dating like 2 years so I can’t get out of inviting her, but she’s one of the most obnoxious people I know. 

     

    …I secretly really hope that they break up before the wedding. 

    Post # 74
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Yes my stepmother. I absolutely hate the woman. She’s been nothing but a witch to me for 20 years and my dad has allowed it. She puts on a big show about how i’m her “daughter” even though i know she can’t stand me and i can’t stand her, but just wants everyone to think we’re close. Its sickening. She also badmouthed my mother for years but now tries to put on a show and act like she’s always gotten along with my mom and that she’s always been this loving stepmother. She is only invited cause it would be extremely rude not to invite my dad’s wife. But she is only tolerated for my dad’s sake. In fact she not liked at all in my dad’s family. Out of at least 20-25 family members only my uncle likes her. Everyone else hates her cause she’s been mean towards my aunts, uncles and cousins as well. She knows she’s not liked in my dad’s family which only makes her nastier and makes her come on more strong trying to demand acceptance.

    Post # 75
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee

    @Birdee106:  Oh wow, I’m having a similar problem. She’s friends with several other guests and is totally one of those people who would try to make people choose between us as friends if we upset her by not inviting her. It’s comforting to know that it turned out fine for you. I don’t think I’ll be able to just ignore her, though…

     

    I’d rather not invite one of my brothers. He’s the type of person who actually enjoys upsetting other people and he’s done his best to ruin almost every time our family has gotten together as adults (which isn’t easy since we’re spread across the country), by being rude and cruel and making our mother cry at every possible turn by insulting almost every time he opens his mouth to speak to or about her. Well, he didn’t try to ruin his own wedding, but he did his best to ignore us the day of and only include us in what he had to in order to not be hugely judged by his bride and her family. It’s possible we were only invited because his now-wife liked us, or maybe because he hates to seem “different” from society’s standards of how one’s life should look from the outside.

    Unfortunately, my parents would be upset if we didn’t invite him and I don’t want his absence to cause an even bigger problem than his presence will cause. Thankfully, my fiance and his brothers and my oldest brother (who doesn’t want our problem-sibling there, either) have my back. If my other brother causes problems, they’ve assured me I won’t have to hear about it and they’ll make sure he’s kicked out as quietly as possible.

     

    And we’re not inviting a good chunk of my fiance’s extended family at all. Too much bad history there.

    Post # 76
    Member
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am a firm believer in not inviting someone you REALLY don’t want at your wedding. You deserve to be happy on your special day. This is the one time you get to call the shots and not feel guilty since this is YOUR day (and your FI’s of course.)

    Luckily my Fiance and I are of the same mind of who to invite, and not invite to the wedding, and since we’re paying for our own wedding we don’t have to answer to anyone. My mom had a small list of people she wanted to invite, which was one couple, and I totally didn’t mind! 

    I am betting we’re going to have a problem with FI’s family though since we cherry picked some family members who we’re not inviting to the wedding, but Fiance has made it very clear that he’ll deal with that situation if….or when that comes up. But we’re not going to let people pressure us into inviting anyone we don’t want at the wedding. 

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