(Closed) Are you/Will you be spanking parents?

• theone99
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: May 2013

If you can’t hit an adult for doing something ‘wrong’, why is it OK to hit a child?

It bugs me when adults use hitting as discipline, but never actually talk to their children to explain why what they did wasn’t safe/appropriate. Conversation must come first.

• strawbs
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: May 2012

I was spanked growing up, a grand total of Twice. once because I was caught, and again for trying my luck. you learn quick.

I highly advocate spanking. I’ve seen so many children in the stores that would greatly benefit from one.

• Mrs_Amanda
• 8 years ago

I think it depends a lot on the child.

My sister didn’t “need” a lot of punishment. A stern look and her knowing you were disappointed in her served as more of a punishment than a pat on the butt. She is still that way to this day, 21 years later! The girl is very loyal, tender hearted and cannot stand to feel like she let someone down.

I was a different story. I was the most obnoxious, hard headed, stubborn, maniacal child in the history of parenting. They took toys away, put me in time out, spanked me, washed my mouth out with soap ( I had a bit of a cussing problem at a young age haha) and tried every parenting trick in the book. The only thing that seemed to work on me was 1) a good spanking and/or 2) being completely removed from everything and everyone for a period of time. I am not talking about a 10 minute time out, I mean a solitary confinement type of thing.

Had my parents just given me a stern look and put me in the corner for 10 minutes, I would’ve laughed in their faces. Had they spanked my sister with a belt, it might have traumatized her! I don’t think that disciplining your kids has as much of a ” one size fits all” like so many books, artices and even WB polls suggest 🙂

I think we will decide when we have a child and what their personality is like and what they respond to before we decide that we are a strictly no spanking or spanking household, but we certainly aren’t opposed to it.

• Meowkers
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: August 2011

My dad spanked me a few times as a kid.  It never worked.  I didn’t fear him and certainly never learned my lesson. It would just make me really mad so I would go and do something even worse than what I was punished for, (I definitely remember throwing out an expensive pair of his shoes and dumping a bottle of cologne).

So no I won’t be spanking my child.  There are better ways to teach a lesson and express disappointment in their actions.

• theone99
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: May 2013

Also, my mum was used to hit us and it didn’t change any of our behavior. It just made us hide from her/scared of her when we did do something wrong, even if it was an accident.

My dads face, his tone of voice and way of reasoning worked SO much better for us.

I don’t know why parents want their kids to be scared of them.

• mrsrecon
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: June 2013

we plan on doing it, but not until they are at the age where they understand they did something really bad and that it the consequence.

we would never “hurt” them, but it gets the point accross and they will learn right behavior

i was raised by a single mom, and she did not spank us, but my grandfather did. and we all knew not to do anything bad in front of him!

my fiance was spanked and he said it made him a better listener, and respect his parents a lot more

 

• theone99
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: May 2013

@FutureMrsPuckett – I meant that more as a rhetorical question 🙂

Interesting thread!

• joya_aspera
• 8 years ago

@Birdee106:  I agree, it’s too easy for corporal punishment to just teach fear of the punisher. I have very well-behaved pets because I’m consistent in their training but they don’t have fear of me because I don’t smack them. They also know that once their punishment is over (usally a timeout, but sometimes just a stern talking-to), I’m not mad anymore and they can cuddle me immediately if they like (they’re affectionate so they often do, and other people have found that bizarre). It’s really clear to them when and why they get in trouble.

And if I can find suitable reward/punishment schedules for completely non-verbal animals, that they can understand and associate with their behavior and that doesn’t cause them to fear me, I’m sure I can find it for kids, at any age past “screaming helpless newborn” phase.

• futureMrsTapp
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: July 2013

Well my parents don’t really enjoy being spanked, but I think with a bit of coaxing I could get Future Father-In-Law to go for it. 

Oh wait, that’s not at all what you were asking. 

No, we will not spank. Neither of us believes in it, and many studies have shown it’s an ineffective tool for discipline, and can potentially lead to mental health issues for the child later in life. (Cue all the “my parents spanked me and I turned out fine” comments.)

• Birdee106
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: October 2012

@BushelAndAPeck:  I’ve always wondered, because my sister says the exact same thing, why is running into the road a reason to spank a child? Not saying your wrong or starting anything, i’m honestly curious why some people feel this way? If my kid ran into the street how is hitting them going to teach them something? You might have gotten hit by a car but here, let me hit you….?

• DaneLady
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

We plan on being quite strict, having guidelines and boundaries, and using time-out and revoking privileges as punishments but will avoid spanking if at all possible.  I also think that beating, spanking, and a swat across the tush are all different things.  I’m not completely against a firm “NO!” and a swat on the diaper if I have a toddler who is reaching for a hot stove or putting a stick in the dog’s eye. 

ETA- to clarify that swatting a diaper makes more noise than it does anything else, and it certainly doesn’t hurt, so to swat a toddler on the diaper would be a way to distract him or her from doing something that will cause harm (hot stove, running off, etc.)

• MLDoddie
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: May 2013

@Mrs_Amanda:  

I think it depends a lot on the child.

I definitely agree.