(Closed) Are you/your husband an only child?

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have 2 siblings of which I am the oldest, as does my mother and grandmother.  My Fiance is the only child of his parents but does have half-siblings from his fathers first marriage.  (He really is more like an only child, b/c his siblings were all practically out of the house or living with their mother when he was born and very young.)  I love kids and want at least 3 (on most days!); he also loves kids but says he thinks 2 will be plenty.  He doesn’t want his kids to have the "only child syndrome" he thinks he has (and rightly so!)!  I have a friend (and BM) who also has 2 siblings, but she is the middle child.  She says she wants 2 or 4 so there’s no "middle child syndrome."  I think when it comes down to it, it has a lot to do with family dynamics.  If you were close to your siblings or other family and experiences you had and may still be having can have a lot of impact on how you feel and picture your family.

Post # 4
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

My husband and I are both only children, but were raised extremely differently.

My husband was spoiled, both by the time with his mother, and by having everything he wanted purchased for him.  He loved being an only child and all the spoiling — in fact, when he was 4 his parents thought about adopting a child, and he said no because he would have to share.  He was so spoiled, that his parents listened and didn’t adopt, even though they had wanted to.

On the other hand, my mother is a child psychologist, and after having multiple miscarriages after me and came to the conclusion that I would be an only child, decided not to treat me as such.  While I was never in need of anything for basic living, my parents did NOT buy me whatever I want, or spoil me with their time — of course, they played with me, but they refused to raise me by running to me and fulfilling my every desire.  Everyone has always guessed that I was the oldest, and are shocked to discover that I am only child.  I always wished that I could have a sibling.

Ironically, my husband wants to have two children, and I want to have one.  I think it is because he is afraid he will act just like his mother and spoil one child, whereas I know from my parents I could raise one child without the spoiling.

Post # 5
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

i am an only child and i will have as many children as my uterus will allow. i’m shooting for 5 but they say things change after the first one. growing up an only child sucked. thanksgivings and other holidays are boring cuz it’s just you, your mom and dad. that’s it. the three of you.

there’s a lot of hardship in growing up with lots of siblings but it sure isn’t boring! and on a morbid note, after me and my fh pass, they’ll have each other.

Post # 6
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

While technically not an only child my half-brother is 18 years older than me and was out of the house by the time I was old enough to really remember things. I’ve always wished I had a sibling, and now that I’m older I really with I had one in terms of thinking about my mother. My aunts and uncles are always involved in taking care of my grandmother and I worry very much about being able to take care of my mom as she gets older.

Post # 7
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I loved being an only child and we’re having an only child…she’s 4. 🙂 I never wished I had siblings, though I did wish I had cousins {I finally got two step-cousins when I was about 15}. My husband is the oldest of three and he wasn’t ever very close to them because they are all so far apart {5 years between each}, so he’s cool with one. We really don’t want to start over now that our daughter is 4. Had we had an "oops" earlier, who knows what would have happened. 🙂 I’m sure we’d feel different!

Post # 8
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am a only child and i hated it…i always dreamed of the day where i could just play with someone or even fight w/ someone other than my mom. I have 2 children of my own now and i want more, it gets lonely and you have this complex thinking that everything in the world is yours. I admit it, im still have that problem..haha thankfully my Fiance is 1 of 3 and is the baby but atleast he trys to get me out of that complex.

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