Member- teamroro
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
FH and I came to kind of a sad trombone decision last night. We had talked about getting married in early October of this year, but after looking at the financial picture around the homestead, decided we need to postpone until things are a bit less tight.
This does represent the 2nd time we’ve essentially “postponed” the wedding. Technically, we never set a firm date, but at first he wanted us to get married at his sister’s vineyard. I was totally on board – her property is amaaaazing – and she was super excited, too. We agreed on the Sunday of Labor day weekend 2017. Unfortunately, her hubs put the kibosh on the plan with the insulting insinuation that if our guests left trashed and got a DUI they’d lose their liquor license. Like, my friends are grown-ass adults who know how to call a cab, you asshat. That being said, it is their home, and I can see not wanting 50 people you’ve never met traipsing around the place. I just wish he’d cited that as the reason, rather than some weird suggestion my friends are irresponsible reprobates.
I digress.
So, that kicked the can down the road a bit. We started talking about maybe April, and then eventually October of this year, instead. We built a house, and had to furnish it, and assumed a year and a half would be enough time to recover financially. Tax season hit super hard last year, and then FH needed to replace his daily driver as it was making catastrophic death rattle sounds. Between those two things, money that had been earmarked to pay off some furniture related debt went elsewhere.
Now, we’ve been waiting for the word on tax burden for this year, with an eye toward an October wedding. However, FH comes from the school of thought where if he doesn’t have stacks of cash in the safe, a pile of money in savings, AND no credit card debt, he’s butt-cheeks slam shut in a paroxysm of fiscal anxiety. I understand intellectually this is the appropriate attitude, but for a person who has never been that great at delayed gratification, kind of a drag.
Ultimately, we agreed that making sure all the debt is gone, AND we have a healthy cushion, AND we’re in a position to just pay cash for the wedding is going to take more than 9 months. It’s possible we could pull it off, but neither of us want the wedding to be a source of financial stress. Plus, if we wait, he’s willing to basically double our budget.
So, knowing I’d rather wait and get the wedding I want (I had been willing to make some pretty considerable compromises, with the smaller budget in mind) and relieve some of his concerns money-wise, we’re just going to hold off setting a date until we have the debt paid off, and some money set aside. This is the right thing to do. But, you know, I’m still a little bummed.
That being said, we’ve also been talking about getting a puppy. Since that’s an expense all its own, we agreed not to do both at once. Since I was on Team October ’18 that meant the puppy was at least a year away. Now, that we’re delaying the wedding, FH is 100% on board with getting a puppy now. I have my eye on this guy…
So! I am putting off the wedding, but I get to double my budget AND get consolation cuddles from a new babydog. Plus, FH can unclench a little, and that’s always a good thing.
