Post # 92
For us it was financial. We both live in NYC, where rents and costs of living are CRAZY. He was living alone, and was having a hard time staying afloat. I had a great apartment, and my roommate announced that she was moving out. This was in winter, and my now-DH and I had talked about moving in together in the spring, so the timing was pretty close. I didn’t want to get a new roommate (or move) and go through all that for such a short time period. I also don’t believe in going into debt to pay for a wedding, so moving in together allowed us to save money for our wedding, honeymoon, and marriage. I don’t feel like I missed out on any big transformation. Moving in together was really a smooth transition, with no real surprises. We’re also in our 30s, and our families aren’t overly religious (MIL is, but she had no problem with it).
Post # 93
I did with my XH and I don’t think we would have gotten married if we didn’t move in together. We were young and moving in seemed exciting and fun and saved money. Then once we were living together, it was a lot harder to just end it and things progressed even though they shouldn’t have.
That being said, I wouldn’t get married again without living together first unless it was really, really important to my SO. I’m not religious, so no issues there. This time though, I would see it as a step in the direction of marriage, just like engagement, and not just a convenience/fun thing. I learned a lot about my XH by living with him and had I been older and more mature, I would have left him before we ever got married. I wouldn’t want to get married now, move in with the guy, and then learn that there are all sorts of ways we were incompatible in practice.
Post # 94
We lived together four months before we got married. Before that we did 2 and half years living 45 mintues apart and seeing each other once a week. It was nice to live together before hand get used to living with each other before tying the knot.
Post # 95
Yep, we moved in together after being together for 3 months. I was living at home, but things were getting tense between me and my family, so I turned to him for help, haha. It would have happened eventually anyway, as Fiance has always said that he will never marry someone without living with them first. We’ve been living together for over two years now. It’s been great 🙂
Post # 96
He asked me to move in with him several times while we were dating but i refuse to live a bf.
so when he proposed i thought it was appropriate enough, and I wanted to excape my family and decided moving in with him and spending my money on a car and school is better than loans and rent.
Post # 97
This marriage is not the first for either one of us. We both have kids and we literally spent every free second together. You would never know the boys were not blood brothers and everyone is amazed at how well they get along. We missed each other fiercely during the week, and would do anything we could to see each during the week. Weird work schedules, kids and a 45 minute commute made it almost impossible. I was paying an insane amount of rent, my lease was up, he has a 4 BR house and we figured why not ?? We knew we were eventually going to get engaged and if anyone didn’t like it, who cared ?? FI also is giving me the opportunity to stay home with the boys and not work, so what more could I ask for ? He is truely my soul mate and I could not imagine life any other way.
Post # 98
Excellent. It doesn’t violate the terms of service as far as I know. YOU find it offensive, that doesn’t mean it is, unless you have suddenly become the offense monitor. Perhaps I should flag every post about people doing things I find offensive. I’d be here all day.
Post # 99
We lived together before we were even engaged. We loved each other dearly, but it was important to us to make sure we could tolerate each other on a daily basis. It was a huge adjustment at first and it definitely took time to iron out the kinks of sharing the same space (heck, we’re still working on it three years later!) so I was glad that we didn’t have that added stress immediately after the wedding.
Post # 100
@OnceUponATime: Same to all THREE of your reasons! 🙂 Couldnt have said it better!
Post # 101
We’ve been living together for about six years now and our wedding is this Friday! We moved in together when I was 17 and he was 18.
1. We are both athiests and do not let our family’s or anybody else’s religious beliefs influence our lives.
2. We have seen each other at our worst and at this point I am 100% positive that we are able to tolerate eachother’s shit! Well… for the most part! Lol
3. We’ve really thoroughly enjoyed living together all these years! I love seeing his car parked outside if I get home after him or his headlights reflect off of the walls of the entryway if he gets home after me! Our house is a home when we’re both here together.
4. I don’t think there is any “playing house” about it. We are living together, we are paying bills, we cook, clean, sleep together, shower, do laundry, have a cat… where’s the make believe in that? It’s reality regardless of marital status.
5. I still think it will be special coming home as a married couple next Saturday.
This has worked for us and I hope whatever you choose for whatever reason you choose it works for you!
Post # 102
I love the way you put that. I feel the same way! The engagement is the start of the comittment, and the wedding is just the end of the beginning!
Nice 🙂 I love the two-fer! (This may be a regional slang, so I apologize if this makes no sense to you!) lol
Post # 103
After we started dating, he ended up spending most nights with me (while I still lived with my parents) and after a couple of months my mum was like “seriously?! just make it official, would ya?”
We lived with my parents for 3 years until we got our own place, and we’ve been living together in our own space for 3.5 years. I love it.
We also got engaged when we were still living with my parents, so by no means do I consider us “shacking up” – we’re committed to each other and intend to marry as soon as life settles down and finances permit.
Post # 104
Wow. You just changed my mind on my living situation! I wouldn’t want to play house!
Post # 105
@Azyriah: “My Fiance and I know absolutely everything about each other. We beleive in complete honest and open communication. We know each others strengths, weakness, and those thousand annoying habits we have. If we didn’t, I don’t think I would have agreed to marry him. I know many of you may think I am just being naive or delusional and that everything will change as soon as we move in… but I honestly don’t think it will. We spend almost every day together and many times we may be stressed, burnt out, emotional, etc. We’ve seen each other in the best and worse of times. I honestly beleive that I truely know this man, and I’ve never spent the night.”
Perfectly said, this is exactly how I feel. (Except, I’ve stayed the night manyyy times) I couldn’t marry him if I didn’t already know these things. I’ve noticied quite a few bees who say you have to live together to really get to know someone, haven’t been with their SO as long as we have been with ours. I think time can teach a lot as well.
I see what you’re saying, but I think there is a difference between being ready to move in together, and choosing to do so. I’m more than ready (in fact I’m ridiculously ansy!-lol)
A house really does feel like home when we’re together, I couldn’t agree more. SO and I just finished remodeling our new house, and just being there feels perfect! I’m sometimes jealous of you lucky ladies who are with your love every night! & yesss, your wedding night WILL be special! (Hellloooooo marriage!!!!) 😀
Post # 106
hmm. Three reasons? Were you referring to the original thread or one of my comments?