(Closed) Are/Did you live together before the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did you/Will you live together before your wedding?

    Yes... and I'll tell you why

    No.. and I'll tell you why

    Other (I'm not sure what the other may be, so explain if you pick this one!)

    I admit it.. unless it looks reallllly interesting, I only click the posts with the polls.

  • Post # 92
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    For us it was financial.  We both live in NYC, where rents and costs of living are CRAZY.  He was living alone, and was having a hard time staying afloat.  I had a great apartment, and my roommate announced that she was moving out.  This was in winter, and my now-DH and I had talked about moving in together in the spring, so the timing was pretty close.  I didn’t want to get a new roommate (or move) and go through all that for such a short time period.  I also don’t believe in going into debt to pay for a wedding, so moving in together allowed us to save money for our wedding, honeymoon, and marriage.  I don’t feel like I missed out on any big transformation.  Moving in together was really a smooth transition, with no real surprises.  We’re also in our 30s, and our families aren’t overly religious (MIL is, but she had no problem with it).

    Post # 93
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee

    I did with my XH and I don’t think we would have gotten married if we didn’t move in together. We were young and moving in seemed exciting and fun and saved money. Then once we were living together, it was a lot harder to just end it and things progressed even though they shouldn’t have.

    That being said, I wouldn’t get married again without living together first unless it was really, really important to my SO. I’m not religious, so no issues there. This time though, I would see it as a step in the direction of marriage, just like engagement, and not just a convenience/fun thing. I learned a lot about my XH by living with him and had I been older and more mature, I would have left him before we ever got married. I wouldn’t want to get married now, move in with the guy, and then learn that there are all sorts of ways we were incompatible in practice.

    Post # 94
    Member
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We lived together four months before we got married. Before that we did 2 and half years living 45 mintues apart and seeing each other once a week. It was nice to live together before hand get used to living with each other before tying the knot. 

    Post # 95
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yep, we moved in together after being together for 3 months. I was living at home, but things were getting tense between me and my family, so I turned to him for help, haha. It would have happened eventually anyway, as Fiance has always said that he will never marry someone without living with them first. We’ve been living together for over two years now. It’s been great ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 96
    Member
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    He asked me to move in with him several times while we were dating but i refuse to live a bf.

    so when he proposed i thought it was appropriate enough, and I wanted to excape my family and decided moving in with him and spending my money on a car and school is better than loans and rent.

    Post # 97
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This marriage is not the first for either one of us.  We both have kids and we literally spent every free second together.  You would never know the boys were not blood brothers and everyone is amazed at how well they get along.  We missed each other fiercely during the week, and would do anything we could to see each during the week.  Weird work schedules, kids and a 45 minute commute made it almost impossible.  I was paying an insane amount of rent, my lease was up, he has a 4 BR house and we figured why not ??  We knew we were eventually going to get engaged and if anyone didn’t like it, who cared ?? FI also is giving me the opportunity to stay home with the boys and not work, so what more could I ask for ?  He is truely my soul mate and I could not imagine life any other way.

    Post # 98
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    View original reply
    @vmec:  

    Excellent. It doesn’t violate the terms of service as far as I know. YOU find it offensive, that doesn’t mean it is, unless you have suddenly become the offense monitor. Perhaps I should flag every post about people doing things I find offensive. I’d be here all day.

    Post # 99
    Member
    4581 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We lived together before we were even engaged. We loved each other dearly, but it was important to us to make sure we could tolerate each other on a daily basis. It was a huge adjustment at first and it definitely took time to iron out the kinks of sharing the same space (heck, we’re still working on it three years later!) so I was glad that we didn’t have that added stress immediately after the wedding.

    Post # 100
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @OnceUponATime:  Same to all THREE of your reasons! ๐Ÿ™‚ Couldnt have said it better!

    Post # 101
    Member
    3063 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We’ve been living together for about six years now and our wedding is this Friday! We moved in together when I was 17 and he was 18. 

    1. We are both athiests and do not let our family’s or anybody else’s religious beliefs influence our lives.

    2. We have seen each other at our worst and at this point I am 100% positive that we are able to tolerate eachother’s shit! Well… for the most part! Wink Lol

    3. We’ve really thoroughly enjoyed living together all these years! I love seeing his car parked outside if I get home after him or his headlights reflect off of the walls of the entryway if he gets home after me! Our house is a home when we’re both here together.  

    4. I don’t think there is any “playing house” about it. We are living together, we are paying bills, we cook, clean, sleep together, shower, do laundry, have a cat… where’s the make believe in that? It’s reality regardless of marital status. 

    5. I still think it will be special coming home as a married couple next Saturday. Smile

    This has worked for us and I hope whatever you choose for whatever reason you choose it works for you!

    Post # 103
    Member
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    After we started dating, he ended up spending most nights with me (while I still lived with my parents) and after a couple of months my mum was like “seriously?! just make it official, would ya?”

    We lived with my parents for 3 years until we got our own place, and we’ve been living together in our own space for 3.5 years. I love it.

    We also got engaged when we were still living with my parents, so by no means do I consider us “shacking up” – we’re committed to each other and intend to marry as soon as life settles down and finances permit.

    Post # 104
    Member
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @dmk90716:  Wow. You just changed my mind on my living situation! I wouldn’t want to play house! 

    The topic ‘Are/Did you live together before the wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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