(Closed) Are/were you ready to take his name?

posted 7 years ago in Names
Post # 32
Member
463 posts
Helper bee

These kinds of stories always make me sad. I can’t imagine taking my husband’s last name in that circumstance. Our last names are similar in length, ethnicity, and level of dorkiness, but I’m not changing my name anyway.

Post # 33
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@BurlapnLace:  My fiance and I have a plan for name-changing, but I’m still so conflicted and not ready. I have to at least wait until I’m done travelling internationally for a period of time before I can officially change it anyways.

Post # 34
Member
313 posts
Helper bee

I’m ready!! Only drawback will be that I will have to correct pronounciations and spell it out every time I say it to someone who has to spell it.

Post # 35
Member
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I was happy to take his name. I was never very attached to mymaiden name, as it was my dad’s abusive step father’s name.

Post # 36
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Probably six months ago I had a minute of panic and felt like my new name sounded so vanilla and not at all like “me”. Then I just kept it in my mind and thought about my new monogram and got myself excited about it. I still couldn’t decide whether to drop my middle name which I love or my maiden name which I love – so I decided to just add my married name and have four names. That’s helped me feel more like I’m not losing anything, just gaining. Now I’m excited for a new name!

Post # 37
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I am exchanging my 5 letter last name beginning with H, for his 5 letter last name beginning with H. I only do my first name and last initial in my signature so I don’t even have to change my signature. YEAH! hahaha… 

Post # 38
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@Artificial-Sweetener:  I have the same problem…I’m so ready but it will be hard to get used to writing a 9 letter last name vs a 5 letter last name. I’m a hospice nurse, so we initial the narcotic sheets when we count the medications….it’s also going to be hard to get used to writing NS vs NF (because I do loopy letters and it’s all one loopy mess without lifting my pen). I shall have to practice.

ETA: I’m going from one strong German last name to another strong German last name, so that’s not an issue. i’m kind of sad because I don’t have any brothers to carry on our last name, but I have 6 boy cousins…so I’m not too worried.

Post # 39
Member
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I hated my maiden name, and I always felt Mrs. My-maiden-name was my mother. So I changed it. 

But lately I’ve been thinking that maybe I can change it again, but hyphenate it. I despise my middle name, however, so maybe I should have just made my maiden my middle. (Is this possible now after the fact?)

I say don’t change it until you are sure. 

Post # 40
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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@kitkat2014:  …I totally made a new Gmail account right before we got engaged.  I thought my new name combo would be unique, but firstlast was already taken, so I had to throw in my middle initial!

Post # 41
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@BurlapnLace:  I don’t know how I feel about it either! My fiance is very traditional so I’ll def take it but I am going to either hyphenate or use it as a “middle” name!

Post # 42
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My maiden name I mean lol

Post # 43
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My name actually just changed on Friday! I am now in the process of changing it at work, banks, etc. I actually had a tinge of sadness when my new driver’s license showed up, but, overall, I am happy with the change. Luckily, I  have plenty of brothers and cousins to carry on the family name. 🙂

Post # 44
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I have similar sentiments as you do! We are not engaged yet but we have had quite a few discussions about me taking/adding his last name. I come from a culture where it’s unheard of that women change their last names once married, so I aways grew up with the expectation that my name will stay the same for the rest of my life. 

However, SO is completely opposite. He comes from a culture where it’s practically unheard of for women not to take their husbands names after marriage. SOOO needless to say it has been a bit of a heated discussion topic for awhile now. I am also an only child too!

After talking to my mom about this, I feel better about changing my last name to his, but keeping my existing last name as my middle name. Ideally, I wouldn’t change my name at all, but it’s very important to my SO (and his family as well) that I share a name with them to symbolize the fact that we’re all family. It’s cool – in my mind I will always be [first name] [last name I was born with] lol.

Post # 45
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m excited to take his last name. I will keep my maiden as my middle name since it’s important to me, but my last name is very well known locally because of my family’s business. It will be nice to have some anonymity!! FI’s last name is very unique and suuuuper German, so I’ll have to spell it out for people, but I’m already used to spelling my very Irish first and last name out for folks. 

A friend of mine got married to someone with almost the exact same last name. She went from Powers to Power. She referred to it as “dropping the s” haha. 

Post # 46
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

At 37 I waffled back and forth until about a week before the wedding.  It’s one of those no right/wrong answer things… just what’s right for you.  I did end up embracing taking his name even though it’s super common and “meh”.  Ultimately I wanted us to have the same name, I liked the unity of it even though we aren’t planning on kids.  Having worked data entry and with databases a lot and liking life simple anything hyphen or double barreled was completely out.  But I wanted to keep my maiden so I moved it to my middle name.  Which was easy because I’d never used it, it was like a little secret very few people knew lol.  But my given middle name will still always be a part of me and in written documented history even if it’s not part of my legal name now.

 

I joked with DH I’d buy him a ring and he could take my last name but no luck lol.  I knew he wouldn’t because he has middle/last going back several generations (and is super close with his grandfather), plus it would have cost several hundred dollars with the court to change his while mine was free with marriage.

My maiden last name was Irish and people always thought it was French.  Go figure :).

View original reply
@Phamnomenon:  My maiden name has a capital letter and it always made me feel off when it was lowercase, and even weirder when it was split in two (it’s not a name that’s ever split).  My mom actually didn’t make the letter capitalized in writing/signature until I was in school and I wanted to know why she didn’t write our name correctly… apparently I pestered her about it so much she’s done it ever since :).  Seems I had a serious tie to heritage and such even as a young child.

Edit: Funny thing is she’s the one who taught me to write it with a capitol.  But her very legible signature back then didn’t have the capitol.

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