(Closed) ARGH!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@His_Swallow: You aren’t being a bitch at all. It’s your wedding and you are supposed to be able to choose your party without having people place themselves or others in. I am shocked that she even put you in that position. 10 is old enough to understand that she is not part of the wedding party. 

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think you need to speak with both of them.  Tell the mom that its not part of your plans to have a flower girl and you tell the little girl that she is special to you, but unfortunately that isnt a position you are having in the wedding, but that you would love to have her XYZ… maybe hand out programs?

Post # 5
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

No no! YOu aren’t being a bitch at all! Tell her that while you would love to have her as a flower girl, you think she’s too old and you only want your children in the wedding. It’s going to be a small intimate affair and you only want your family there. 

Post # 6
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh my.  Yeah, I agree that you aren’t being a bitch in the slightest.  I think if you just explain the situation to her, she should understand.  I mean, it’s your wedding.  And it makes sense that your children should take priority.  I agree, that if you want to try and appease her, you could have her hand out programs or something, but honestly, I can’t imagine that being necessary.  At 10 she should understand. 

Post # 7
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i agree with the others, you did nothing wrong, and i think they will get over it.

Post # 9
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Good for you!! I’m glad you are standing firm. I’ve found it strange how other people’s “stuff” seems to surface during wedding planning (like your friends guilt).

p.s. 10 is definitely a little old for flower girl.

Post # 10
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am in total agreement that 10 is too old for a flower girl!

To spare feelings, I would give your MOH’s daughter another role so that your Maid/Matron of Honor and her daughter still feel included. I mean, this is your Maid/Matron of Honor, right, so pretty sure you care about her feelings and want to avoid drama.

You could do something simple, like make her in charge of the guest book, and then give her a small flower to wear or something like that, or even have her hand out programs. That way, she is a part of the wedding, but in such a removed way that it won’t bother you.

My two cents for what they’re worth.

Post # 11
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

Good for you! Who are these people who make demands of other people’s weddings?! It’s bizarre.

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