(Closed) Argh. Annoyed at my husband…

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@cheese: BOO on men! I think it’s in their genetic makeup to Just. Not. Get. It.

Sometimes Fiance can be so insensitive and really doesn’t even know it. I’m amazed by what is (and mostly IS NOT) going through a guys head on a daily basis. When they say they’re not thinking about anything, odds are they really aren’t. When they say nothing is wrong, there usually is nothing wrong. And when they ask us that question when they sense “tension” and we reply with “I’m ‘fine'” They take us at face value sometimes.

Just tell him how you’re feeling. (trying to do it calmly, please no “off with his head” citations..lol)

And P.S. I’m sorry 🙁

 

Post # 4
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Sometimes men don’t think.  My husband complained to me about being tired the morning I had to go in for a breast biopsy.  He was glad that I didn’t go into labor one day because he had a headache.  I haven’t killed him yet, though.  And your last bit reminded me of a Family Guy episode that was on last night where Peter was complaining about how hard pregnancy was on him.  Lois is throwing up in the background and Peter had to turn up the volume to the TV while lying in bed…

Post # 5
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

My partner read Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy and he never complained again (not even once) since then.  He thought I was just kvetching for no good reason until he read that and finally realized that I had been posessed by an alien.  He did all the cooking, dog feeding, and trash taking out without one word too…

Post # 6
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh men…Sometimes I think you just need to spell it out for them. Maybe try something like “I’m really not feeling well, would you mind x,y,z- it would be a big help”. Or “It really sucks that I can’t have runny eggs, maybe you can comiserate with me”. (Btw, I would not make him runny eggs- if I’m making eggs for both of us, then they’re being cooked in the same pan, and if he doesn’t like it my way he can make his own, just sayin’). Hope that helps!

Post # 7
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

He probably just doesnt realize it. Darling Husband is really dense about things sometimes. Like the PPs, I think its in their genetic makeup. lol.I wouldn’t be too hard on him.

I agree that maybe you should have a calm discussion with him about it. Tell him that these limits you have because of the pregnancy are really tough on you and him doing these things in front of you is really making it harder.

Post # 8
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Objectively speaking, Darling Husband has been pretty awesome throughout this pregnancy, but when it comes to little things that annoy me, I’ve really been trying to work on telling him (/warning him) when it happens, because if I don’t say anything and just quietly fume for a while eventually it comes out and that is NOT pretty. So now I really try to say “hey, I know it’s irrational but I feel awful today and I really don’t want you to go out tonight while I sit here feeling yucky” or “if you order runny eggs at brunch this morning it will make me sad because I can’t have them.” He’s pretty happy to follow direct instructions, and while I wish he’d just know what not to do, that has yet to happen so I’ve decided to suck it up and go with the tactic of “unless you want to make me all passive aggressive and unhappy, please do the following…”

I’ve also made him read all kinds of stuff and talked to him a LOT about how hard pregnancy is. I don’t think he got it at first, but over time it’s been sinking in and he’s gotten more appreciative of what I’m dealing with and giving up for this baby.

Post # 9
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Mrs. DG: LOL, “possessed by an alien”…love it!

@cheese: Ugh! That sucks! : ( I hear you on the runny egg thing…I HATE fully-cooked eggs! I’d tell him that he gets what you cook him, and if his egg is too cooked, he can cook his own runny egg! (Also, get him to read the pregnancy book DG mentioned.)

Post # 10
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am going out on a limb here but sometimes things are relative. Just because we are uncomfortable & tired on a daily basis doesnt mean our men can’t ever be tired or have headaches or can’t feel good. Me being pregnant doesn’t mean when my husband gets a headache it doesn’t hurt. Now….if they are not doing a damn thing & laying around all the time expecting you to do everything…now we have a problem! ha!  I do think that guys don’t think like us. They aren’t going to change their habits b/c we have to change ours without us bringing it to their attention.

Hang in there & try telling your hubbie what you need & want from him & see if that helps 🙂

Post # 11
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Cheese, I forgot to mention that one of the girls in one of my Bradley method classes has the same love of runny eggs.  She was able to find one brand of pasteurized eggs in the grocery store that she was able to eat less than fully-cooked.

Post # 12
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

“Kick his ass Sea Bass!” 🙂

Seriously though, guys sometimes need to be told straight up what we need from them (sensitivity, hugs, space). If anything it’ll make you feel better to air your frustrations and perhaps give him a bit of a wake up call.

Tell him how irritated you are and that it’s not that you don’t WANT him to eat certain things or do certain things but you feel sad that you can’t, so when he brings them up it just makes you feel worse. You’re not trying to limit him but he needs to be more sensitive that you can’t do everything you want now.

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