(Closed) Argh…Just got a wedding invitation from someone not on my list!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite her?
    No, decline her invite and leave your guest list the way it is. : (34 votes)
    35 %
    No, go to her wedding anyway! : (50 votes)
    52 %
    Yes, if she cares enough to invite you, you should invite her too! : (12 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    You don’t have to invite her just because she invited you, although it could be slightly awkward. As for going to her wedding, say yes if you want to go celebrate with her, and no if the hassle of attending a wedding (for someone you’re not even friends with!) outweighs the fun. 😉

    Post # 4
    Member
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    Its your wedding you decide what you want..

     

    oh

     

    and can I please get your address so I could send you my invite?

    haha just kidding!

    Post # 5
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Don’t change your guestlist to include her.  You are having a small wedding, and people will understand if you say to them you are having a very small wedding.  If you explain it and they DON’T understand, you don’t want them at the wedding anyway. 

    How often do you see her? Go to her wedding if you are comfortable, but don’t in any way feel bad for not inviting her. 

    Post # 6
    Bee
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

    I voted to not invite her.  It was her choice to invite you to her wedding and it should not be contingent on whether or not she is invited to yours.  If you feel comfortable going to her wedding, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, even if you choose not to invite her.  Hopefully she will understand that you are having a small wedding and that you could not invite everyone that you would have liked to.  If your whole family is going to the wedding, there is no reason that you shouldn’t!  Your list is your choice, and you have to keep it at something that you feel comfortable with (although, of course, I know this is easier said than done).

    Post # 7
    Member
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t think you have to change your list, and I think you can go to her wedding regardless.

    Post # 8
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    My fiance and are in in the same boat sister!  I say go if you really want to, but you are not obligated to invite her to yours. We are also having a small wedding. My fiance invited a couple his parents were really close with, and he was also close with them growing up(we’ll call the couple sara).  Thier daughter got married last year, and invited my fiances parents, Sara said for them to bring my fiance to the wedding.  They had a guest list of 200+. Sara got offended that my fiance didnt invite all her kids and thier spouses!  Needless to say, she is not coming to our wedding.  Its her loss.

    Unless they are immediate family or very close friends, invites should not be expected.  Its unfair to put that kind of pressure on someone.  It’s your day hunny!  Make it about you, and the people you love!

    Best of luck!

    Post # 10
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    We have a similar situation except we already went to their wedding!  They invited us to theirs, they aren’t invited to ours – and they completely understand (atleast I think they do!).

    You need to stay strong and do what’s right for your wedding.  There are already way too many things we “have” to do as brides, inviting more people out of obligation should not be one of them! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If you have the chance to talk with her beforehand, I would just mention that you had a really small ceremony and weren’t able to invite very many people outside your family.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2532 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would say don’t worry too much about this. If you are having a relatively small wedding she will most likely understand! I say go to hers if you want to go and don’t go if you don’t want to – but don’t let that decision be based on the fact that youre invited to hers and she’s not to yours!

    Post # 13
    Member
    826 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    There’s no rule that says you have to invite somebody to your wedding if they invited you to theirs. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee

    Don’t invite! I was invited to a sorority sister’s wedding which happened right after college graduation. That was 4 years ago and we haven’t spoken since. This past fall I was also invited to another college peer’s wedding, she exlcuded my Fiance (even though she invited other people with dates who were just casually dating), I didn’t go to either’s wedding and there is no way they will be on my guest list. I am also enforcing that it isn’t tit for tat to my mom or else are guest list would have a lot of ‘obligation’ invites of people I dislike/

    Post # 15
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    An old old old friend of mine that I havent seen or spoke to for over 15 years sent me an invitation but I declined because I would feel obligated to invite her to mine.  I sent her a nice gift anyways and didnt even get a thank you!!!

    Post # 16
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I think its okay to say no if u don’t want to go and yes if u really want to without her feeling. She is a bride now and i am sure she will understand……My sister has this friend my sort of friend too but we are not close (don’t even see her much) and she invited me to her wedding last August and I accepted. But I am not inviting her to my wedding, besides she has too much drama and i don’t want that.

     

    The topic ‘Argh…Just got a wedding invitation from someone not on my list!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors