Arguing over a dog

posted 2 weeks ago in Pets
Post # 16
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

kaitlyn8298 :  I’m not quite sure what this post is about unless just to vent. What exactly is it you want done about the dog? It already moved out of your (it’s former) bedroom. At 10, this dog isn’t going to change. I really feel you just need to not worry about what this dog thinks of you and let you husband take care of it the majority of the time, if it really bothers you that much.

Also you decided to get a puppy as well, so do you really have any right to complain?

 

Post # 17
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee

I had a similar issue with my fiancée’s Bengal cat, albeit nowhere near as bad as he’s just a cat and not aggressive. It’s been four years and we’ve worked together to eliminate or prevent a lot of his bad behaviours, but he’s still never really taken to me and I honestly would prefer him not to be here, I don’t wish any harm on him at all and know my partner loves him, but I have never grown to like him despite my best efforts to bond with him and I’m a cat lover. So you do have my sympathies.

My only advice is that you need to get your husband on board to work as a team with you and get some expert help, andif it comes down to it you may need to issue an ultimatum. I hate ultimatums, but this is a last resort and may get him to realise how much of a problem the dog’s behaviour is and that you’re not going to let it continue any longer. Dogs are quite adaptable and with time and effort you could definitely get an improvement in his behaviour, but if your husband doesn’t care enough to try then I would be saying it’s me or the dog. 

Post # 18
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

ariesscientist :  “It’s me or the dog”? This dog likely will stay in a shelter for the last part of it’s sad life then be put down if he chooses her. Poor Cookie.

I feel like love goes a long with with dogs and if OP would just make more effort instead of worrying about what the dog thinks of her (it’s a dog not a co-worker ffs) she may be surprised at what could happen (if she’s willing to open her heart and try).

Honestly it makes me so sad to think that this dog might lose it’s home and life all because it’s human owner got a new partner who didn’t like it and replaced it with a new puppy. I know this kind of thing happens all the time, but it makes me sick to my stomach that people can just toss pets aside like this. That’s a living being who depended on and loved your partner!

Post # 19
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Your husband is a shit dog owner. Dogs need more than food, shelter, and a few pets ffs. Not even leash trained and he’s had him for 7 fucking years??? He shouldn’t have a normal dog let alone a high needs shelter dog. Ugh.

But. That’s not the dog’s fault. If you force your husband to give up the dog, it’s 100% going to be put down. People don’t adopt senior dogs and definitely not ones with behavioral issues. I do think you’re well within your rights to say if you don’t get a trainer for the dog, I’m moving out. You shouldn’t have to pay for it either. It’s his dog, his responsibility. Didn’t train the dog at all. That blows my mind.

Post # 20
Member
6771 posts
Busy Beekeeper

kaitlyn8298 :  You know the answer–you have to involve a behaviorist/trainer. If you accept that Cookie and your husband are a package deal and you are doing this to improve your quality of life does it really matter that much that you both pay for it? Just do it. ASAP. Have the trainer explain to your husband why it’s so important that you are both on board and consistent in your approach with both dogs. 

Post # 21
Member
9506 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Your only option is a trainer. If you try to rehome this dog it will be euthanized, just be real about it.

I mean the dog is 10. Yeah it sounds like your husband hasn’t been the best owner, but it also sounds like the dog already had a lot of issues when he got him. Worst case scenario tough it out for 2 more years or whatever, I doubt a larger dog is going to live much longer than that.

I think it was very irresponsible on your own part to get a puppy when you already have a dog with issues though.

Post # 22
Member
4926 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Westwood :  irresponsible and selfish to get a puppy at this stage 

Post # 25
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

kaitlyn8298 :  This dog is dangerous. He may be aggressive for sympathetic reasons – fear/anxiety/etc. But a dog who attacks/nips and is openly hostile to all but a few people is a HUGE liability.

I agree with other posters that a trainer is indicated but I dont know how much success you’ll have if your husband doesnt take this seriously and given the dogs age. Perhaps he will die in the next year or two and give you some peace.

My husband and I tried to foster a pup. The dog was so sweet to me and to our kids. He even liked my husband and would go lay by him and play with him. But at night the pup would become extremely protective of our kids rooms. He nipped my husband several times when he was walking to OUR bedroom… not even going towards the kids rooms. The he nipped a visitor. I believe the dog was probably in an abusive household but we still had to consider the safety of our family and visitors. We contacted the rescue and explained the issues so the next owner could be informed and returned the dog once they found a new home for it. A dog who bites out of fear needs serious intervention before he does real damage!

Post # 30
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Mainly you and your husband need to get on the same page about this dog. I had a similar issue myself, when I moved in with my husband. The dog he has is very, very sweet but was also very, very untrained. Barked all the time at everything, would pull on a leash, slept in the bed, peed in the house if she didn’t get her way, and pretty much just ruled the house. Finally, I was like “we’re done with this, this dog needs to be trained”. So that’s what we did. We took her to training and both of us worked really hard to get her trained better (training is more about the owners than the dog). Now, it is so much better! She loves both of us (but still has a preference to him), doesn’t bark, has learned to walk on a leash, never pees in the house and is just so well behaved! We had no issues leaving her with my parents while we went on our honeymoon, and everyone loves her because she is so sweet! She still barks a little, but we just have to tell her “no speak” and she stops (well, if I tell her, she gives me one last, quiet bark under her breath just to get the last word! :). We live in a very dog friendly city, and we now can take her anywhere because she behaves on a leash and doesn’t bark or growl at other people/animals now. I worked with her a lot (especially on walks and her leash politeness, I had dogs all growing up), but my husband was 100% on board as well. Hire the trainer, have them come to the house and tell your husband to clear his calendar for the day. You cannot be a prisoner in your own house. And please don’t bring children into a house with an aggressive dog. 

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