Arguing over a dog

posted 2 weeks ago in Pets
Post # 61
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee

I would have a lot of difficulty being with a man so rigid as to not consider training to help his fiancée and dog bond better. 

Honestly, your fiancé is the one who needs training on how to interact with his dog, and I’m sure the reason he’s against it is because the trainer will tell him he needs to change things. He doesn’t want to hear that he’s been wrong. That’s pretty major character flaw (resistance to constructive criticism), and overall, it would be a dealbreaker for me. 

However, it’s not my relationship.

I think that out of respect for you, he needs to allow a trainer to come in and work with Yogi. 

Post # 62
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m really confused about the dog never being on a leash before. How does he take him to the vet? Or does he?

Post # 63
Member
26 posts
Newbee

kaitlyn8298 :  ” i would appericiate if the dog went to live with his parents – my in-laws, who literally live 7 minutes away.”

 

“BUT, my own safety and safety of my future children has to come first.”

The dog is 10 years old. Chances are that he will not even be around when you have kids, considering (from what the posts in some of the last pages say) you are not actually even married yet.

You seem to be looking for excuses to get rid of this poor dog. The dog has been through enough and you want to send him off to another home. 

Post # 64
Member
4926 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

sassy411 :  yes, poor Cookie 100%. Nothing like feeling dislike and resentment from your long time owners new partner and then having that owner try to replace you with a puppy. Sad all around. YouTube videos would be a start. 

Post # 65
Member
9964 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

So you’ll pay 1000 for an elective procedure your dog doesn’t need but you can’t use a little of that for training for Cookie/Yogi? 

Post # 66
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

sassy411 :  I think before she gets to obedience training, she has to get to the point that she can be within a few feet of this dog without eliciting major fear / anxiety reactions. 

Agreed that obedience training down the line is a great idea – but wouldn’t start with obedience training videos.

OP – start with fearful dog videos so you can have ANY interaction with this dog, then use basic obedience stuff to help build his confidence and strengthen your bond.

Post # 69
Member
10859 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

TravelingBride31 :  

You didn’t read my post very carefully.  I *said* watch Ivan’s puppy imprinting and bonding videos, along with obedience.

I certainly don’t blame the dog for staying the hell away from her.  If she sincerely wants to bond with him, there are methods for doing that.  Ivan’s are outstanding.  There are reasons people flock to him from all over the planet. There are others I could recommend.

This is not *all* on the fi.  OP could step up and educate herself.  If she wanted to.

Post # 70
Member
10859 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

kaitlyn8298 :  

The vet should have a better understanding of behavior management.  The poor dog should be getting a dose of something to calm him two hours before the appointment.  Tizadine and gabapentin are common, often together. 

You could give him Benadryl before the vet, if the vet won’t rx anything.  Dogs can have up to 75 mg safely.

I’d change vets.  There is no excuse for allowing a dog to suffer like that.

Post # 72
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee

I really question your fiance and his ability to raise children, if he isn’t willing to even attempt to help this poor dog.

i wouldn’t have brought a new dog into the mix, but it’s too late to change that.  What I would do is hire a trainer to come to the house.   I know that you don’t want the dog, but clearly you want to stay with your fiancé and he wants the dog.  So I would do whatever you can to help the dog.

Pet ownership is for life.   This dog has been through a lot and just needs the guidance.

Post # 73
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

It sounds like you have a husband problem. Not a dog problem. 

I could write a book on how annoyed I am at people who do not train their pets. It’s not okay. That’s part of owning a dog. I agree with PP that he absolutely needs to get trained. I don’t care how old the dog is. Of course, it’s not going to be easy. But it will solve a lot of this. 

I also wanted to add that animals, especially dogs, can pick up on your anxieties and thoughts towards them. I’m not saying it’s your fault, but being uptight and anxious is making the dog feel the same. They pick up on that. 

Good luck with everything! 

 

Post # 74
Member
10859 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

kaitlyn8298 :  

He should be discussing possible side effects with the vet.  He sounds full of crap.  I’m feeling worse for this poor old dog by the minute.

There is a newer med available specifically for anxiety produced by thunderstorms.  It’s called Sileo and it’s rubbed onto the dog’s gums.  It’s proving to be very effective.

This unfortunate dog is suffering so needlessly.  Who the eff is your bf to decide the dog can’t take meds?  That’s the vet’s job.  If the dog really does have a sensitive stomach, there are ways to manage that.  

Your bf is beginning to sound too cruel and irresponsible to have a pet.

Post # 75
Member
6771 posts
Busy Beekeeper

kaitlyn8298 :  Were you really hoping everyone would tell you it was okay to get rid of the dog? 

When I met my Fi I was clear that my kids, my dogs and I were a package deal, all or nothing, period. You knew about the dog when you agreed to marry your Fi–did you think the dog would somehow go away? What would you say if he woke up tomorrow and told you he really didn’t like your yappy little puppy and you needed to get rid of him/her? I bet that wouldn’t go over too well. 

I can’t imagine standing by and not intervening sooner, even having a vet visit the house. There are so many possible treatments you could have been exploring all this time. Water under the bridge. Become an advocate for Cookie. Find a new vet. Explore all the options to make the dog’s life and your lives easier. 

Do you plan to have children? 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors