Post # 61
I would have a lot of difficulty being with a man so rigid as to not consider training to help his fiancée and dog bond better.
Honestly, your fiancé is the one who needs training on how to interact with his dog, and I’m sure the reason he’s against it is because the trainer will tell him he needs to change things. He doesn’t want to hear that he’s been wrong. That’s pretty major character flaw (resistance to constructive criticism), and overall, it would be a dealbreaker for me.
However, it’s not my relationship.
I think that out of respect for you, he needs to allow a trainer to come in and work with Yogi.
Post # 62
I’m really confused about the dog never being on a leash before. How does he take him to the vet? Or does he?
Post # 63
kaitlyn8298 : ” i would appericiate if the dog went to live with his parents – my in-laws, who literally live 7 minutes away.”
“BUT, my own safety and safety of my future children has to come first.”
The dog is 10 years old. Chances are that he will not even be around when you have kids, considering (from what the posts in some of the last pages say) you are not actually even married yet.
You seem to be looking for excuses to get rid of this poor dog. The dog has been through enough and you want to send him off to another home.
Post # 64
sassy411 : yes, poor Cookie 100%. Nothing like feeling dislike and resentment from your long time owners new partner and then having that owner try to replace you with a puppy. Sad all around. YouTube videos would be a start.
Post # 65
So you’ll pay 1000 for an elective procedure your dog doesn’t need but you can’t use a little of that for training for Cookie/Yogi?
Post # 66
sassy411 : I think before she gets to obedience training, she has to get to the point that she can be within a few feet of this dog without eliciting major fear / anxiety reactions.
Agreed that obedience training down the line is a great idea – but wouldn’t start with obedience training videos.
OP – start with fearful dog videos so you can have ANY interaction with this dog, then use basic obedience stuff to help build his confidence and strengthen your bond.
Post # 67
sassy411 : yes, i know he has actually lost 2 owners. so i do feel bad about that and can see why he is so clingy to the one constant in his life, which is my fiance. it makes sense especially for a senior dog and i get that. but, that doesn’t mean that i want to put all of this time and money into something that my fiance and i are not on the same page about. i just feel it would be very difficult.
Post # 68
anonomee : yes he takes him to the vet. when he absolutely has to go. and when he does, he is so nervous and freaked out, he expells his bowels all over the place, he shakes non-stop, pulls every which why on the leash, he shows his teeth at the vet, and hides behind my fiance, which is where the vet has to conduct the exam.
Post # 69
You didn’t read my post very carefully. I *said* watch Ivan’s puppy imprinting and bonding videos, along with obedience.
I certainly don’t blame the dog for staying the hell away from her. If she sincerely wants to bond with him, there are methods for doing that. Ivan’s are outstanding. There are reasons people flock to him from all over the planet. There are others I could recommend.
This is not *all* on the fi. OP could step up and educate herself. If she wanted to.
Post # 70
The vet should have a better understanding of behavior management. The poor dog should be getting a dose of something to calm him two hours before the appointment. Tizadine and gabapentin are common, often together.
You could give him Benadryl before the vet, if the vet won’t rx anything. Dogs can have up to 75 mg safely.
I’d change vets. There is no excuse for allowing a dog to suffer like that.
Post # 71
sassy411 : yes, and the vet has talked to my fiance about getting him on something for anxiety, i know there are options out there and personally i think he would benefit from it. he is also a hot mess during thunderstorms and it is pretty painful to watch, but it’s not my dog, so i don’t have a whole lot of say. i still do say it, but really at the end of the day it’s up to my fiance because he is the owner of the dog.
my fiance is very nervous to give him any type of medication because he thinks he wouldnt tolerate it – apparently because he has a sensitive stomach. idk.
Post # 72
I really question your fiance and his ability to raise children, if he isn’t willing to even attempt to help this poor dog.
i wouldn’t have brought a new dog into the mix, but it’s too late to change that. What I would do is hire a trainer to come to the house. I know that you don’t want the dog, but clearly you want to stay with your fiancé and he wants the dog. So I would do whatever you can to help the dog.
Pet ownership is for life. This dog has been through a lot and just needs the guidance.
Post # 73
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
It sounds like you have a husband problem. Not a dog problem.
I could write a book on how annoyed I am at people who do not train their pets. It’s not okay. That’s part of owning a dog. I agree with PP that he absolutely needs to get trained. I don’t care how old the dog is. Of course, it’s not going to be easy. But it will solve a lot of this.
I also wanted to add that animals, especially dogs, can pick up on your anxieties and thoughts towards them. I’m not saying it’s your fault, but being uptight and anxious is making the dog feel the same. They pick up on that.
Good luck with everything!
Post # 74
He should be discussing possible side effects with the vet. He sounds full of crap. I’m feeling worse for this poor old dog by the minute.
There is a newer med available specifically for anxiety produced by thunderstorms. It’s called Sileo and it’s rubbed onto the dog’s gums. It’s proving to be very effective.
This unfortunate dog is suffering so needlessly. Who the eff is your bf to decide the dog can’t take meds? That’s the vet’s job. If the dog really does have a sensitive stomach, there are ways to manage that.
Your bf is beginning to sound too cruel and irresponsible to have a pet.
Post # 75
kaitlyn8298 : Were you really hoping everyone would tell you it was okay to get rid of the dog?
When I met my Fi I was clear that my kids, my dogs and I were a package deal, all or nothing, period. You knew about the dog when you agreed to marry your Fi–did you think the dog would somehow go away? What would you say if he woke up tomorrow and told you he really didn’t like your yappy little puppy and you needed to get rid of him/her? I bet that wouldn’t go over too well.
I can’t imagine standing by and not intervening sooner, even having a vet visit the house. There are so many possible treatments you could have been exploring all this time. Water under the bridge. Become an advocate for Cookie. Find a new vet. Explore all the options to make the dog’s life and your lives easier.
Do you plan to have children?