Post # 1
Fi and I rarely ever argue. I’d say once ever 3-4 months we get in a silly argument, which tends to escalate far beyond what it ever needed to be. They are always over the DUMBEST things. Typically one of us will say/do something that we perceive in a negative way (even though that wasn’t how it was meant) and it just takes off from there…
We both hate fighting of course, but we have differing opinions on fighting.
He always says, if we are going to fight it should be about something “real”. I think it’s better to have a stupid argument over a dumb misunderstanding than have a real issue to fight about.
So, I was just wondering – what do you bees think? If you are going to fight, would you rather it be something “real” (e.g., finances, cheating, etc.) or something dumb (e.g., a misunderstanding that escalates beyond what it should).
Post # 3
Usually if you’re arguing about something silly it’s because there’s a real underlying cause.
We had a big argument last night and ended up being awake past 4am. It needs to happen every now and again to release pressure.
Post # 4
Something dumb, definitely. I’m so glad we don’t have any real issues to argue about.
Post # 5
@SpecialSundae: I would agree if it happened frequently. If I had to pinpoint an underlying cause, it would be either one of us not realizing how our tone/facial expression comes off to the other and/or us being too sensitive/misperceiving the tone/expression of the other.
Also, we have different styles of arguing, so I know this is why they escalate. He gets angry quickly then retreats. Whereas, I am slow to get angry but once he retreats I flip out because of it.
Post # 6
@mepayne: That’s how I feel! I’m glad we don’t have any real problems to deal with. He isn’t naive to think we aren’t going to argue every now and then, but he has made it beyond clear it should be about something “important”. I get where he is coming from, but still would take a dumb fight over a real one any day! In the middle of our argument I literally said so you would rather us be fighting over cheating right now than this? His response was of course yes – but I’m going to go ahead and take that with a grain of salt since it was all still in the heat of the moment.
Post # 7
Admittedly, our arguments are usually me ranting and him apologising then me apologising and starting the rant over again.
Post # 8
Darling Husband and I argue a lot! I think it depends on your personality. He never argued with his EXs. Yhey were all pretty WASPy and were passive agressive, where as I don’t hide anything and am pretty assertive! We deal with every little issue that comes up! We appreciate that type of communication, where as not everyone does!
Post # 9
@MrsWBS: I was just thinking to myself how crazy I was be sweating this silly argument until I found your post. Darling Husband and I don’t argue much but this one silly argument seems to manifest itself this past week. Darling Husband argues like your SO; he is quick to get mad and retreat. But because he reacted so poorly, I ended up acting as badly, too. Ugh. I’m glad I’m not alone!
Post # 10
My Fiance and I very rarely argue. Sometimes we get in those sillt fights and they make me so angry. Mainly because we are both very stubborn and vocal and something stupid (running 5 minutes behind schedule) can turn into a shout fest. If I’m going to fight, I’d rather it be over something real that didn’t leave me so angry that we were fighting in the first place.
Post # 11
We very rarely argue. We sometimes do bicker about little things, but we’ve never realy had a big fight about anything serious. But when the time comes, we will have learned how to better communicate to each other due to our little practice runs haha