Argument with DH over baby pic

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Does he typically scream at you? Does he typically try to restrict your access to your family? His behavior here is really OTT, and it’s worrisome.

Post # 3
6166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Why is he screaming at you? I agree with PP, this is worrisome.

Post # 4
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

This is absurd. Adults were present and immediately available. I have a picture of my four year old holding his baby sister. Would it be irresponsible to have a 9 year old carry them? Probably. But this was a controlled environment and only for a moment.

As an aside, if my Dh EVER thought it was okay to scream at me, he’d have another thing coming. I won’t be treated that way by anyone. 

Post # 5
345 posts
Helper bee

During COVID times, tbh, I think it’s irresponsible to have anyone over to meet newborns… let alone hold them. You said you’re both cautious or even “paranoid,” but that’s not paranoid behavior. So many people have contracted COVID from incredibly small family gatherings, including relatives of my FH, so please be mindful.

As for your husband’s yelling/reaction, that’s a red flag/out of line. What is his usual “anger” reaction? Is he typically a yeller? Does he put down your decision-making?

This should have been something you both discussed, agreed on, and stuck to (people over, level of contact, etc.) prior to *any* visits. TBH, anyone in that group could have passed the virus (or any sickness) along to your babies–9 years old or otherwise. I’d have an issue with anyone holding my child(ren) during a global pandemic.

Post # 6
1289 posts
Bumble bee

I’m assuming that your husband was worried that she would drop the babies?? My opinion only but I woud be upset if a 9 year old was left unattended with the twins and she just picked them up on her own… but if everyone was there??? I woud be okay with this. I’m also a raving lunatic about germs and I made everyone wash their hands before coming anywhere near my newborn.

My son was 12 when his baby cousin was born, and he was a preemie and weighed about 4.5 lbs. I have a pic of him holding his teeny little cousin in the NICU. Of course, after the pic, the baby’s mom took him back immediately…. but this is family. Of course a 9 year old woud be excited and want to hold the babies. I don’t think I woud be upset by what you did.

Post # 8
1516 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

There’s a picture of me as a 7 year old holding my infant sister. A 9 year old is grown enough to hold a baby properly.

If his yelling at you is his normal, then you need to reconsider your relationship. 

Why can’t you just agree on who can and can’t hold your babies? If he feels the need to be there whenever YOUR friends or family are over, as opposed to his, this means he doesn’t trust you to keep your word. 

I think a baby parenting class would give the both of you an idea of what’s appropriate handling of a baby and what’s not. Unless this was a one off and you can calmly negotiate boundaries, I think you have bigger issues.

Post # 9
4 posts

I think a 9 year old sitting down is capable of holding on to two babies while a picture is taken.  My son was three and held his new brother for some pictures!

Post # 11
600 posts
Busy bee

View original reply

Your husband sounds like a controlling dick. Yes, he’s totally over-reacting. I have multiple pics of my 4-year-old granddaughter holding her new born brother while sitting in a sofa chair. It’s not like your niece was walking around with them. There is no excuse for he acted either way. 

Post # 14
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I was babysitting infants by 11 so he’s majorly overreacting. I can’t believe he screamed at you.

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