(Closed) Argument with mom, would like some opinions

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 4
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I say do what you want to do.  The people who love you and truly want to be there will be there. I’m having my wedding on a Friday at 5:30 in the middle of rush hour traffic, downtown in a major city.  If people want to be there, they’ll come and I’m not worried about those that don’t.

Post # 5
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think people who really want to attend your wedding will attend regardless of distance.

That said – if a wedding was 3 hours away on a Sunday night – I would decline, unless it was a close friend.

I think your mom has some valid points:  ie – it is an inconvenience and people will incur a lot of expense.

I also think you have valid points:  if you’ve always dreamed of a Tahoe wedding, then I don’t see why you shouldn’t have one.

Could you compromise and make it a Saturday wedding (so it’s a little easier on your guests and they can make a weekend out of it??)

Post # 6
104 posts
Blushing bee

I agree–do whatever you want to do.  We got married about 40 minutes from our town.  It was obviously not that far, but it was far enough that most people would need a hotel (since most planned on drinking). 

We also got married on a Friday night at 6.  I assumed most people would not RSVP yes, because being it was 40 minutes away, that would mean they all had to either take a half-day or the whole day off.  We still had 75% of our guest list RSVP yes and there on time. 

People do take off days from work for weddings, and they do travel.  It’s not like it’s just a birthday party.  Weddings are a big deal and people know that. 

Post # 7
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Amanda89: your mom has good arguments, but it’s YOUR wedding.  It’s not like you’re doing a total Destination wedding in Mexico or somewhere like that.  

Do what you want and if people can go, they will.  BUT take her concerns into mind because some people may NOT be able to come due to work the next day or due to their financial situation.

Not everyone knows a year ahead of time what they’re schedule will look like that close to the date.  Plus, you don’t know what the year will hold.  You can easily have a job one minute and none the next.  

edited to add: forgot to add that not all businesses allow you to take a day off that far in advance.  Some have pretty strict guidelines, even if you ARE invited to a wedding, it doesn’t mean you’re guarenteed that day off.   

Post # 8
6889 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011


I have to agree with the PP, on what she said. 

Post # 9
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui. Obviously, a lot of people aren’t going to go and I really don’t care if only 10 people come. It’s your day and you should get married in Tahoe. I went on vacation there with my family and WOW. It’s sooooooo beautiful! I wouldn’t pass that up just so a couple people could make it. Hopefully you only do this once and it should be your dream not everyone elses. Go to Tahoe.

Post # 10
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Another option for a Sunday wedding is to consider having it earlier (maybe in the afternoon) to give people a chance to sober up for a few horus before driving back? 

Post # 11
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It is your wedding.  Do what you want.  But your mom does have some valid points. You may find a significant number of guests will decline.  So… what is more important to you?  Being married by the lake in Tahoe on Sunday or having the majority of your invited guests attend?

One thing that sticks out in my mind is that you stated guests will have time to save money for the trip.  One could also argue that you and your Fiance also have time to earn and save money to pay to use one of the venues on a Saturday to make things more convenient for your guests.   

Post # 12
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

She is right.  You will likely have less guest turnout but those that are closest to you will make the trip and maybe make it a weekend thing.  Darling Husband and I have a friend getting married on a Sunday 25 min away and we almost booked a hotel because we really wanted to celebrate.  We still took the next day off. 


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