- 9 years ago
I am also on the waiting board but lately I’ve enjoyed the relationship board…great advice on anything having to do with relationships and not so focused on “when will he propose.” I think women need to speak to other women about dating and relationships, and sometimes it helps with complete strangers vs. friends who may be biased.
In a nutshell – I’m having financial issues. Working on solutions and I will tell you that my SO is a huge help. He buys me paper goods, cleaning supplies, cat food, cat litter, anything I need so when I go to the grocery store it’s only food I’m buying. He pays for all dates. He pays for my horses hoof trimming. His horse lives at my place and he pays me $200 for board although an extra horse causes me no extra work/worry. He buys most of the food for the horses. It’s about 60/40. If I have an emergency, he gives me the money. He’s very caring that way. I’ve never been in a relationship like this and I totally appreciate it, but it’s uncomfortable for me because I am independent and should be able to take care of myself. He pays for vacations. I chime in when I can. But lately, that’s been a big fat 0.
This summer has been rough. We’ve had issues surrounding marriage commitment. His reluctance. It’s been a very rough time for us. We’re working through it slowly but surely but honestly, the only progress is he can actually talk about marriage openly now. Whereas before it was pretty much a taboo. He loves me, I know this for sure.
So he planned a beach trip for September. Renting a house. We both talk about a wonderful trip from last year …. a different place ….. but it was a week of romance, fun and we’re still talking about it. So, I was hopeful that this trip might be a renewal of sorts. And I verablized that to him.
Well, he starts inviting people to come along, including my mom. That is a very sweet thing because otherwise my mom has nobody to go with.
Then he invites his nephew for a few days. He may or may not make it, but he asked me if I was bummed about him extending the invitation. I was 100% honest and said that I was bummed about it because I was hoping our trip would be a renewal in the spirit of last yer’s trip.
Knowing how bad my finances are and how badly I feel about having to accept help, he says “well, I could give you your way and blow everyone off but I could also ask you to pay for the vacation. Would that be mean of me?”
I found it quite meanspirited of him to throw money up in my face. So, needless to say we had a back and forth exchange. It’s so special to help another person, but if you throw it up in their face, it’s not worth it. I already feel bad enough and I told him this. He apologized for hurting my feelings but never really said anything else encouraging or helpful.
And, he didn’t call me last night. This exchange happened yesterday…during work hours. Which isn’t always the best time to engage in an argument. It was all by email.
I’m very upset and hurt deeply. And, I said a lot of things that I probably normally wouldn’t have said…but meant them all.
What do you guys think?