Post # 31
Ok so he is 29, no excuse, hes being riduculous! Like Krispi said, and the other girls if anyting you moving out and being independednt will be a good thing for you and him!
You moving out will not stall, stop, or keep him from proposing, if anything at all it would make him wake up and smell the roses. If he thinks you’re moving out might jeprodize his “hold” on you because you might meet someone else or suddenly decide you don’t need him that is just too bad buddy. Life goes on with or without you…you are adults almost 30 years old, so acting like a highschool boy is not okay. This isnt 1845 anymore, women are not controlled by men unless they choose or let themselves be…if he wants say over where you live then he can marry you..right now he has no say.
Post # 32
OP – I still can’t get over the fact that you are both approaching 30 and have never really started lives or your own outside your parents home (never mind starting a married life together)! Wake up OP! You only live once and it is PASSING YOU BY! Move out on your own and really become an independant woman. If it causes him to propose out of fear of losing you ok well good (I guess). But if it has the opposite effect and ends up pushing him away then that’s good too because then you’ll know he is not the man for you and you’ll be free find the one who is!! Don’t be scared of change – it is so liberating and refreshing.
Post # 33
I agree with everyone who said you should move out of your parents’ house.
I feel so much more prepared for marriage thanks to my experiences living with other women (6 years of roommates post-college) and on my own (3 years). Sharing an apartment with roommates let me get a lot better at compromising, working with other people’s personalities, and being nice even when annoyed. Living on my own taught me a lot of personal responsibility — I know I can run a household, deal with all the meals, bills, budgets, etc., AND that I can keep myself entertained. It was invaluable!
Best case scenario: you and your SO get engaged within the year, and married a year after that.
You would both benefit so much from running your own homes, and I actually think you would benefit most from life either on your own or with roommates. It will be a big transition to live away from your parents, and it might be better to make the transition without romance being at stake in your day-to-day living arrangement.
The independence, maturity, and confidence you will gain are worth the rent money.
If you have been living with your parents for so long, you might even have enough to buy a house!
This could be an exciting year, or it could be the same old thing. It is up to you! With or without your lackadaisical man, I hope you make choices that leave you a stronger, happier person.
Post # 34
Some good responses on here. I agree with PP, you should move out and get your own place and your independence back. I think it will shake things up a bit. I’m in quite a similar position except we are saving and planning to buy a house later this year and have been looking. The thing that concerns me about your SO is that he is happy to stay at home, especially at his age. When does he want to move out? Surely he doesn’t want to live at home indefinitely. Is he influenced by his peers? Are they married with children? He does sound immature and you need to move out and make yourself happy, it may wake him up. If not you may find you’re happier in your new life.
Post # 35
I wanted to give you all an update on what happened with that argument. We didn’t talk for a few days because I was really upset and wanted to get my thoughts together before having a conversation with him. Well I was out of town working during the time we did not talk and the day I came back he was waiting for me with flowers and apologized for the way he reacted. We went out to eat and he asked me what I need from him in order to avoid that argument from happening again. I told him to explain to me what is going on and why it is taking him this long. He went on saying that he does want to marry me and that this year is our year and the reason why it is taking long is because he cannot multitask he can only do one thing at a time.
He started a new job about a month ago but does not like the industry and is trying to become a cop and so he is training for the physical exam. He said he has that going on and that he wants to plan our engagement and wants that to be spontaneous. I asked him how much time and he did not want to give me a time frame he said that took away from the surprised. I asked him to understand my point of view and have my feelings in mind because I do not know how much longer I can wait. We briefly talked about me moving out and he suggested that I do that if I want but that recommended I keep saving so we can get a house and plan the wedding when it is time. He said he never wants us to go days without talking because it really felt like he was losing me. He said that he does think about how I feel and it makes him sad sometimes because he wants everything to fall into place but needs to do a few things first.
I was very happy with the conversation but I don’t think I can wait until the end of the year. Last year I told myself that June was my deadline and it is right around the corner. I am a bit nervous. I wanted to tell him about my deadline but that would of sounded like an ultimatum and I don’t want to do that.
Thank you ladies for all your advice it really helped me make some very good points during our conversation. I truly hope he makes our relationship a priority and gets us to the next step.