Arm insecurities… to sleeve or not to sleeve?

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Australia

I’ve got a lot of excess skin on my upper arms – it looks like I’m smuggling a second pair of arms! So I opted to cover it. However, I bought a strapless dress that came with a matching bolero. It ends up looking like part of the dress. My dress is the Darlene by Rebecca Ingram. I feel much more comfortable with them covered.

Post # 17
Member
4767 posts
Honey bee

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observer :  I think it depends on the dress though. If it’s a dress that’s purposely designed to have actual sleeves then I certainly don’t think it calls attention to the arms. But what I often see on forums like this is people adding fabric to make either cap sleeves or off the shoulder “sleeves” (but really it’s just like a 2-3″ wide strip of fabric) to sleeveless dresses. And that I believe really does call attention to the arms. Because cap sleeves really only work on people who have narrow shoulders. If you are broad-shouldered or have larger upper arms, cap sleeves actually make You look larger. Same with off-the-shoulder straps (I don’t think they are sleeves but I’ve seen plenty consider it to be). And with off-the-shoulder you’re basically making a visual line right through the largest part of your arm and you’re doing the exact opposite of the intent which was to hide them.

Post # 18
Member
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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storms :  I don’t like having bare arms, especially in photos. I went for a dress with 3/4 length sleeves and they were so flattering. I didn’t look at ANY of my 1100 wedding photos and think my arms looked bad! Took me a while to find the right dress but I am so glad I did! 

Post # 19
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I got a dress with the illusion sleeves with lace appliques.  I don’t care for my arms too much and I knew I didn’t want a strapless dress.  I would have definitely tried dresses with other types of sleeves but I knew the look I wanted.  Try on a bunch of things and see what you like best!

Post # 20
Member
3721 posts
Sugar bee

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annabananabee :  yes “bolt on” sleeves attached to strapless dresses rarely blend well enough to look right.  I topper over a strapless dress works much better 

Post # 21
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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jayrock :  Same!

Post # 23
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

I am also insecure about my arms – I have rosacea-type discoloration all over my upper arms. Bad enough that most of my friends have asked about it before they knew. On my wedding day, I sported an A-line spaghetti strap and did not think ONCE about my arms. Then, when we got the photos back, I don’t see anything. Either my photog edited the redness, or it wasn’t visible at all. I say: go with the dress you love, and don’t change your style for an insecurity. Best of luck! 

Post # 24
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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storms :  I chose a dress that hid my insecurities. I knew I’d hate my photos and wouldn’t feel confident at my wedding if I didn’t. 

Post # 25
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

The pic above in xbeetobe’s post was my inspiration pic! 

I got sleeves I bought off Etsy added to my strapless dress by a dressmaker. I loved having the bingo wing coverage! 😂

Post # 26
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I added a bolero.  It allowed me to cover my arms, but I could have just gone strapless if I felt like it later in the day.  I never took the bolero off ultimately.  I was sooooo much more comfortable with my arms covered.

Post # 27
Member
2215 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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xbeetobe :  beautiful dress

Post # 28
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

I think cap sleeves will draw attention to your arms…BUT i dont think that having sleeves would at all! Like lace sleeves or other embelishments just look beautiful, it doesnt make it look like youre drawing attention there!

 

My advice would be to try on a variety of dress styles and see what you like, it may surprise you! 

Post # 29
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

I am self conscious about my arms too, as they’ve never been slim, per se.  I thought I wanted sleeves to hide my arms, but interestingly enough, I felt that the sleeves drew even even more attention to them! It was evident how much fabric was on my wider arms.  I ended up with strapless and I would have NEVER thought that would look best, but it did! Having nothing constricting the upper arm ended up making them look the slimmest.

Post # 30
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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storms :  

I have chubby arms in proportion to the rest of my body, and they are my biggest insecurities. I didn’t feel comfortable without any sort of coverage either, but it had to be the right coverage. Cap sleeves emphasized the widest part of my arm, and long illusion sleeves still show the shape of my entire arm in my opinion (worse if they fit tightly).

Hence I went with an off-shoulder gown that covered the widest part of my arm only, exposing only the slimmer areas and giving the illusion of slim arms. The off-shoulder hung loosely and gave me a lot of freedom with my arms and was really super flattering and doesn’t cover too much. You may want to give that style a go in your appointment!

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