- 6 years ago
We looked at our venue at the end of February and both said straight away that we wanted it. We have been ‘pencilled in’ until we can hand over the deposit next weekend after we get paid. It’s our dream venue and although the date is 18 months away, we wanted to make sure we definitely have it on that date.
Then we realised we had to make sure the church was available that day, too! I don’t know why but I didn’t even think about the church not being available.
Now, I would say that I’m agnostic. And I would call my SO ‘spiritual’. He was raised by a catholic father and a COE mother and religion is quite important in their family (although they don’t really go to church very often).
I, on the other hand, had NEVER been to church before. I’d been in them, but had never been to a service in my life.
Initially I didn’t know what to think about getting married in a church because I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. But my SO is of the opinion that a wedding just isn’t a wedding if it doesn’t take place in a church and his family are of the same opinion.
In England you can get married in a church as long as you have a connection to it (if you’re religious or not). So either you’ve been going to church there for 6 months, or you or your parents live in the parish. We live far away from both our parents so a church wedding would have to take place at our local church.
On their wesbite it said it was a popular church to get married in, and if you wanted to get married there you should visit one Sunday morning for worship, get a sense of the place, and meet with them to discuss the wedding.
So we went this morning. I was quite scared at first because I didn’t know what to expect! I was worried that people would be able to tell I was an ‘outsider’ but it was a really enjoyable experience! I loved the sense of community there was, and everyone was so friendly. Plus is was the most beautiful building I had ever seen in my entire life. Seriously breathtaking.
When we left we passed the Vicar and he mentioned that he had never seen us before. My SO just chatted to him about how he hadn’t been to church in a while and it was nice to go back. I just smiled, introduced myself, but didn’t really say anything.
As we left, we both felt as though it would seem wrong to just call up and say “Hi, we’ve been to your church once and we’d like to get married there”. As though we ‘used them’ for our own personal gain. We’ve agreed that we should keep going back every Sunday (even after we’ve spoken about a date), but have since realised that for the next 2 weekends we’re both not around!
Until we know if the church is available, we can’t put a deposit down on our venue, but we don’t know when would be the right time to speak to the church about a date.
For all you Christian bees, do you think it’s wrong to go to one service and then straight away talk to them about a wedding? Should we go to a few more? The website just said about going to one – but I don’t want to do anything that comes across as ‘bad taste’.