(Closed) Arrrgghh!! Random everyone is crazy vent! Long.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly you should message them back and say, “Well, I didn’t know my sister wrote that, but she makes a good point. If these events were big enough in your lives, they certainly are big enough in my life. It’s a shame you two want to keep missing them, but luckily I still have people who care about me. Thanks anyways.” I think friend breakups can be good sometimes, and I really have a problem when friends act this way and then people say “just tune them out and slowly stay away from them.” No, sometimes people need to be called out on their behavior and know what they did.

If you don’t want to break it off though, I suggest calling them and saying, look, these events are important to me, and I don’t think it’s asking too much for you two to show up — you know, except say it nicer. Grr, I’m mad for you!! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I know exactly how you feel. My 2, who I thought, were my best friends have barley even talked to me since I moved one hour away with my fiance. They both seem to be able to come visit other friends in my town, but never seem to be able to pick up the phone and call me! I’m so fed up with their immature attitudes I want to tell them to forget being a part of the wedding. I have always been there for the two of them, and now that I need them, its like they dropped off the face of the planet. That is except to come and have me buy everything for them to be in the bridal party. My fince and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and told them when we asked if they wanted to be included that they would have to chip in on the dresses and accessories…I’m sure I’ll never see a penny from them. Sorry to rant with you, but just wanted you to know that you are not alone with this.

Post # 5
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

*Hugs* I’m sorry your “friends” are being mean! I think LaborofLove hit the nail on the head! That’s not fair at all!

Post # 7
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sorry you are having to go through this, but it is better you found out now, instead of later. Your sister should not feel guilty for sticking up for you. That is what family and true friends do. If it were me, I would just cut all contact from them and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but probably for the best. If they are true friends, they will reach out to you. You and your sister have done nothing wrong.

Post # 8
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, those friends are no friends of yours. This happened to me by a friend of mine… she was acting kinda crazy. And so are your friends. I really support a decision for them not to be there–if they are the kind of people who are always making you be the one to make things up, they’re no longer worth your time.

Post # 9
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

This happened to me too, so you are definitely not alone!

In my case, this “friend” who I’d been friends with and supported for 10 years got crazy posessive and refused to get to know or like Fiance and was deliberately excluding him whenever she could. She openly told me she didn’t support me in this. There’s more to it than that, but long story short eventually I stood up for us and broke off the friendship. A year later, I still think about her and I’m still angry sometimes that I didn’t rip her the new one she deserved, but I’m much, much happier with the man that I love.

People get crazy when your life changes. It’s so odd and sometimes no matter how much you reason or listen there’s no getting away from it. At least you’ve communicated your feelings.

Post # 10
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The same happened to me my cousin the one i’m closest to or at least was.  Ever since i got engaged she’s been very distant or negative about everything.  She won’t answer my calls or acts snotty when the subject of my wedding comes up.  the last stunt she pulled was trying to have a party at the venue i have for my wedding prior to my wedding.  This is a place she has never been to, heard of etc. WTF.  She called and decided to ask because some people are “funny” about stuff like that.  I think there should be some name for the psychosis that seems to attack anyone associated with a bride.

Post # 11
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know exactly how you feel! Some of my BMs are also being really distant – there is so much drama surrounding weddings, with the BMs and family and everything… I even briefly considered not having a wedding today, just to stop the insanity!!!

Sorry, no useful advice here but I can offer you a virtual hug. 🙁

Post # 13
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m really sorry Miss Mini. This is kind of going on with me too. The only advice I have for you is to remind yourself that this is not about you – they are having issues and no, it’s not fair that they cannot be there for you in the same way that you are there for them. Good luck, hope your wedding is fun and everything you’ve dreamed of, and hope your marriage is even better!!!

Post # 14
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

this rings true for me too!  i just told off a good friend of mine for not rsvp-ing to my sis for the bridal shower DESPITE this friend hysterically crying when i told her i couldn’t go to her birthday party this year but had stayed in town an extra several hours to meet up with her prior to the event to buy her a drink.  she went so nuts at this suggestion that i dragged my partner and a ton of luggage on a $50 cab ride to be there for her.  and she never even rsvp’d to the shower (she pulled the same crap a few months ago for my graduation party).  the NERVE on some people is so galling.

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