Post # 1
Better to vent here then to my SO.
I mentioned in another post that my SO`s sister has recently become engaged, he had expected her to have a rather short engagement as she tends to like to move on things pretty quickly. They are pretty close in age being only two years apart.
My SO told me last night that his sister was thinking about setting a date for 2016! Which we had discussed was the earliest possible year that he and I could tie the knot (hopefully in the summer or the fall).
NOW he thinks we have to wait until after his sister gets married. I told him that
s ridiculous and that she doesnt get two years all to herself where no one else
s life milestones can progress, but he thinks because shes older and she was engaged first she has to get married first.
On the bright side, he mentioned us getting married (again). I just hope I managed to persuade him to my way of thinking…I figure as long as we pick a different month, we`re still okay.
What do you think
Post # 3
His sister is already engaged? Why is she waiting so long? I think that when people decide to have such looooong engagements they cannot get upset with people “getting married first”. Hopefully your SO will come around.
Post # 4
That’s a little unfortunate, but it’s not the end of the world. I would just try to choose a month further away from her date, but I wouldn’t go too far out of my way. However, I don’t agree that because she was engaged first, she should get married first. It’s not your fault that they are having a long engagement. Just make sure you don’t book the same month, and you’re good.
Post # 5
@plum_pudding: oh holy hell. That does suck! I get the whole “my sibling got engaged first so they should get married first” idea but not if they are taking more than 12-18 months max! Two years is too long!!
Post # 6
@plum_pudding: I agree with PP. I think if you could book a different month from hers it should be ok. I know two couples who got married last year and the groom of one couple was the brother of the bride of the other couple (so brother and sister) and he’s 3 years older than her. The brother proposed to his girl and then 5 months later the sister got engaged. Their weddings were 4 months apart.
Post # 7
Yup, a few weeks ago. No idea.
m happy for her and her FH, theyre a great couple. It doesn
t bother me that theyre engaged first or what have you, I just don
t want my SO to delay on account of his sister.
Sorry for the weird text incongruities. This is not my usual computer.
Post # 8
Yeah that is what I was thinking too. Just pick a different month, and we probably won`t be getting engaged anytime in the next six months or so anyway.
Post # 9
Thanks. It`s funny because apparently the same thing happened with my Dad and his sister. Although he ended up getting married 6 months before she did. Maybe I should find a way of telling my SO that story…
Post # 10
@plum_pudding: A 3 year engagement is really long. If you havn’t convinced your so yet that its okay to get engaged during his sisters super long engagement you still have plenty of time to change his mind.
Post # 11
s very true. Ill have plenty of time to persuade him. I doubt we will have that long of an engagement anyway.
He can be kind of impatient about getting a move on with our lives (even more than me!) But he has very high standards about where he needs to be in life and what type of ring he wants to get me.
Post # 12
@plum_pudding: UGH this is annoying!! Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this.
And why is she waiting so long? Hopefully she is planning an early 2016 wedding so that you can still get married in the fall?
I do not think this should affect your timeline too much. I had thought the reason that my SO was waiting to move things forward was because he was waiting for his brother to propose to his long time Girlfriend and get married, but as it turns out, he’s just waiting for his own timeline to progress (graduate, get a job, us relocate). He def said that it doesn’t matter to him if we get engaged while they are and planning their wedding/having their wedding.
BUT I will say this—when it comes to families and siblings and weddings, they ARE a big deal. Most people in the family will want to attend, and with weddings come bridal showers/wedding gifts/possible money to be given. Unless his family is rich, it can put a strain on his family to have to attend two weddings in a year And it’s something that I’ve had to accept as well…that if we have a wedding within 6 months of his brother, that could impact attendance and stress out the family. It sucks but that’s life.
Just try to hang in there!!
Post # 13
Thanks. I am hanging in there.
I think that once we are engaged, we will have to take things into account (including his sister
s wedding). However, Im not waiting an extra 2-3 years just so we can avoid stealing her thunder.
s a good point about family weddings and finances. Hrm. I guess well see how it goes.