Article telling Millennials who can't afford kids to "just make it work"…

posted 6 days ago in No Kids
Post # 46
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

wander :  not really. Houses are more, but incomes are way higher. I actually bought a house in 2015, that I looked at in 2007. It was way more money in 2007 …so no, your theory/ excuses are not accurate.

Post # 47
Member
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

penny1403 :  

That’s what you want though. Your lifestyle is not everyone’s dream 🤷🏻‍♀️

Post # 49
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Just chiming in to agree that the idea of juggling as many balls as possible while wading through a mire of crippling debt, in the name of procreation, is pure bullshit. 

I recently went part time, mainly for mental health reasons and because I had been wanting to do so, to have more time for things outside of work. Appreciate not everyone can do this, and that not everyone is in or even agreeable to our lifestyle/living situation, which is outlined below, but my husband is a QS and crunches numbers for a living, and is, to that end, obsessed with economics, so here’s a little breakdown of things for us, in relation to this topic:

Husband works full time at a district Council.

I work 25 hours a week at a top-tier law firm.

We live with my Mum, to enable us to continue to save for a house deposit, and pay her a small board each week which goes directly in her pocket, as we helped her pay off the mortgage a few years ago. I would rather she has that money than some greedy property investor. 

In 2020, by which time hopefully house prices might have come down, Mum intends on selling her place and putting the majority of the sale proceeds into a newer, larger house for all of us, which will be topped up by a SMALL mortgage if necessary. This may be wishful thinking, as we live in New Zealand, where real estate prices are currently exorbitant.

Then, AND ONLY THEN, will we entertain the idea of children (which, by all accounts, we are leaning more and more towards NOT every day) then we will at least have 24/7 day care, as my mum is retired. 

Fuck being a slave to the bank for 25 years (and then some). 

Fuck bending to societal pressure. 

And fuck trying to “make it work”. 

That shit doesn’t fly with me anymore. We’re going our own way. 

ETA: We get 4.5 months of paid maternity leave in New Zealand, which I understand is more than a lot of other countries in the world, and I am still not sold on the idea. 

 

Post # 50
Member
3174 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

penny1403 :  look I get that you are proud of your situation but surely you realise that you are the exception, or can you not see that? You are making it sound like everyone in that situation can just buy a house, or have their children whenever. 

Firstly how did you actually buy your home at 20 while you had a child? How did you pay for childcare so you could work while also renting and saving for a down payment? I really struggle to see how that is achievable? Or did you live with parents and have parents look after your child for free because while that’s great for you, it also makes you incredibly lucky. You can’t just tell someone that it’s fine to have a baby at 20 with no plan because if it worked out for you and probably will for them.

I think this is more of a question of timing. Firstly when you bought in the 90s the market was very different to today. Lending was lax, banks were more predatory. I mean there were 110% mortgages for crying out loud, basically everyone could buy in the 90s!

In my city the average small home cost 106k when you bought your house, which was 3.6 times the average salary, so pretty affordable  . In comparison the average small terraced home today is 502k which is 12.8 times the average salary earned in the city. 

Im struggling to understand why you repeatedly say how easy is it for a broke single mom to buy a home in a high cost of living area when that just isn’t the case today.  Also “house are more but incomes are way higher” just isn’t true. There is a reason there were much more home owners in the 90s compared to the current decade.

Post # 51
Member
965 posts
Busy bee

penny1403 :  “I live really close to several really famous athletes.”

See, this is your problem. You seem to be under the impression that something like this (if it were actually true) MATTERS–either to others or in general. 

Having a big house and having tons of money (which you get from the government anyway) aren’t things that actually matter. Having healthy children, a loving partner, deep and trusting relationships with friends, a sense of fulfillment and self-worth, a healthy and vital body–THESE are things that matter. THESE are things that, if lost, would drive people to give up ALL of their money. 

You honestly don’t seem to recognize this, and it’s a very sad thing. No matter what you bother saying in response, we can all see into you, Penny–SOMEthing vital is missing from your life if you think that living near famous athletes matters AT ALL, or that anyone is impressed by that. That you even SAID IT shows that there’s something missing. And we can see parts of what it is: You have a lazy fiance who obviously doesn’t value you and/or your children. I assume that this hurts very badly, and I’m sorry for that. You have a sick child, and I imagine that destroys you every day, and I’m sorry for that even more. 

Stop taking “pride” in having money and material possessions (which are easy to get even for the worst and most evil, ignorant human beings), and start looking to take pride in having things that MATTER: love, family, self-worth, all things that we get because we work at being excellent HUMAN BEINGS, not excellent businesspersons. Until you can do that, you’ll be empty–no matter how many houses and cars you have. 

Sorry to thread-jack, sboom. I think the article is full of shit too. 

Post # 52
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

I am a millennial and whilst I strongly oppose the vibe of this article,  there are aspects I agree with.  

I saved so hard from age 15 to afford my deposit on a unit at age 20. Working at a burger store, saving all i could.  I sacrificed overseas travel for the benefit of owning a home of my own.  That was literally the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve since heard the collateral to buy 4 other properties. I’m now 33 years old and most of my friends don’t even come close to having a deposit.  I live in one of the top 5 high col cities in the world. In my experience most of my millenial friends have chosen travel and other life experiences ahead of saving hard for a deposit.  You can’t have everything.  If i needed to move back home so i could save for a home,  I’d do just that.  If i had to work two jobs I’d do it.   I’m gonna get drilled for this but hard work and sacrifice is all it takes provided you live in a developed economy 

Post # 53
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Have children when or if you can afford them. Nobody wants to struggle. Far out, I’ve just turned 33 and finally we are ready for kids. We have no debt minus our house. We are saving hard as I doubt I’m going back to work until kids are at school. 

Life is so expensive these days!!

However I live in a city with really expensive housing. My cousins each moved back with parents to afford a 20% deposit for a house. I have a friend who is getting married in March & lives with her fiances parents until after wedding so they can save for a house.  You do what you have to do. Don’t have an issue with that as long as it’s not permanent. 

 Also the advice that’s there’s never a right time to have kids. Sure, but there’s also really dumb times to have kids. 

Post # 54
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

The focus of the article seems to be about paying down debt before buying a house or having a baby. Just curious what the average student debt is in Canada? I’m guessing it’s a lot higher than England. None of my university friends factored in paying their student debt off before having kids.

Hunnibee88 :  I’m 33 and own a home. I’ve also travelled all over the world (still do) rather than invest in other properties and it’s the best decision I’ve made. Maybe I have more of a ‘tomorrow is never promised’ attitude? I think there is a happy medium to be had. I agree that if you work your butt off and sacrifice all the fun stuff then you can start TTC sooner but then you might resent not living a little. Unless of course your only desire in life is to be a mum and although we are TTC I’ve never felt it was my ‘calling’.

Post # 55
Member
3174 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

EllyAnne :  Is there a reason you are comparing Canadian student debt to that in England? The average student debt in the UK is actually more than three times higher than Canada.  $26k in Canada vs £50.8k in the UK which is about $87k. 

Post # 56
Member
736 posts
Busy bee

We NEED to decrease the population!! There is not enough space or resources to keep growing! It’s so irresponsible to say for people to just have more kids!! People need to stop having so many kids!! 

There is terrible advise in this article! I am a fairly ‘young mum’ but I had a house and a stable job and relationship before we tried for our daughter! 

Post # 57
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

zzar45 :  I wasn’t comparing I was asking because the article goes on about paying student debt… When I was at uni the most debt we could come away with was around £15k. This changed a couple of years after I left as course fees shot up. I often see threads on here discussing US bees student debt and it’s often A LOT and I could see how it could impact on financial/ life decisions made and was just wondering if it was the similar in Canada.

Post # 58
Member
8862 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

it’s one person’s opinion.  i am not familiar with the source so i can’t speak to the credibility.  do canadians use this paper as reliable information. 

for example, in the US, i would trust an article from the new york times, not so much USAToday.

Post # 59
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

youngbrokebride :  Is living paycheck to paycheck really a fair world to bring a child into? One pediatric bill for something as simple as strep throat or an ear infection and SOMETHING is going to be behind in that world. Not to mention that a paycheck to paycheck household doesn’t really have enough left over for diapers, new clothes every few months because babies grow like weeds and all of the extra essentials of having a kid which means you’re expecting someone else to do a lot of that for you. 

And honestly, I realize that they’re extra curriculars but how fair is it to have a daughter and not be able to afford to let her do cheerleading if that’s what she wants? Or softball? Or have a boy whose friends are all playing football but he can’t even try out because you can’t afford it? 

What about when graduation comes and you can’t afford their graduation package or it sends you into debt trying to get it for them? Having them graduate without a class ring because you don’t have the money? Having the pressure put on THEM to be perfect in school or damn near close because you can’t afford college on your paycheck to paycheck lifestyle so they HAVE to qualify for a scholarship or be completely swamped by student debt in their young adult life?

These are all EXTRAS but is it really fair for a child to go without just because you wanted kids but couldn’t really afford them? That’s selfish. 

Post # 60
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

Hunnibee88 :  

Exactly my point. I started making good choices at a young age which put me in a good place today. I didn’t cripple myself with student loans and instead bought real estate. I my younger days, i bought and sold a home every two years. 

Life is always choices and the options are there to afford anything, if you actually want it.

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