Post # 1
A couple of my best friends are throwing a shower for me. I think one friend had envisioned a girls shower and the other had envisioned a co-ed shower. Originally, I had thought it was going to be co-ed and was excited about that. Then, it seemed like it was changing to a girls only shower, and I was excited about that too. Now, I’m being asked what type of shower I want – as it’s fine with them either way.
I think I’d prefer the girls shower (only because, the guest list will be easier, and I want it to be more intimate) – the problem is – one of the hosts (a male) does not feel comfortable attending if it’s all girls (and it’s at his house!!) He thinks the other female guests may feel uncomfortable with him being the only male.
So – my question to you – as shower guests, would you feel uncomfortable with a male present? Of the guests attending, about 90% or more know my relationship to him and that we’ve been friends for eons – so, personally, I don’t think they’d think it was odd (plus, it’s his house!)
Post # 3
I had one man at my shower. It wasn’t a problem. Granted, he is gay and most of his closest friends are women, but he is very much a stereotypically male kind of guy. I did ask him what he was comfortable with, and he was comfortable with the shower.
Post # 4
Admitedly it would depend on the man.
Post # 5
It depends on the shower. If you’re aiming for a silly girly toilet paper wedding dress contest type shower, then I would be a little self concious because I think that most men would be rolling their eyes the whole time and mentally collecting stories to share with their friends about how strange women are. So if you’re looking for a squealing giggling girly shower, and he’s not the kind of guy to be giggling right along with the girls, then yeah, it might make me feel weird. But if you’re doing a low key shower, with like how-well-do-you-know-the-couple jeopardy and other gender neutral games, then I don’t think having a lone guy around would be an issue at all. So, depends on the guy, depends on the shower.
Post # 6
I’m having two dudes at my shower on Saturday (they’re two of my attendants), and I asked them if they were okay being there. Their response? “As long as I’m not the only guy”. Sweet.
Post # 7
“If you’re aiming for a silly girly toilet paper wedding dress contest type shower, then I would be a little self concious because I think that most men would be rolling their eyes the whole time and mentally collecting stories to share with their friends about how strange women are.”
That’s ok, I’m female, but I would be rolling my eyes the whole time, and mentally collecting stories to share with my friends about how strange these women were.
I said, “Other,” because I strongly prefer coed parties. The whole idea that weddings are all about women, not men, leaves out a lot of people I consider important and strikes me as sexist.
Post # 8
As a guest, I would think it’s just fine for you to have him there, but for his own comfort, maybe consider inviting a couple of close guy friends (maybe your fiance and his groomsmen?) It doesnt have to be all out co-ed, maybe even have another area where the guys can hang out during some of the girly games and stuff, but ask them to be there for food or gifts (whatever is important to you). That way there will be a few guys who can come and go throughout the shower and wont single out the fact that you have just 1 male guest. Plus, I’m sure both families would love to say hello and have a chance to talk to/spend a little time with your fiance, as well as you!
Post # 9
PS – when I first read the title of your post, I was trying to figure out what a man-present was…like a man-gift…maybe something for the groom? haha –
Post # 10
We had one guy at my shower the whole time (SIL’s live-in boyfriend, it was at their place) – he was super friendly to all the ladies there and getting them all drinks. They LOVED it. If he’s into the shower, they’ll be into him being there.
Post # 11
I totally wouldn’t mind. As long as they didn’t act like they were too cool the whole time, or like it was painfully boring for them to be there.
Post # 12
I would be uncomfortable if there was one guy there, but not so much so that it would ruin the shower.. I just think girls act much differently when there’s a man around than when it’s just all girls. Frankly I think it would be more uncomfortable for him than the women.
Post # 13
I don’t think you mentioned if your Fiance would be going…I didn’t really want my FI to come but it was hosted by his family, who live states away and people he doesn’t get to see much so he wanted to see them as much as possible. He came after the food and games which was good, just in time to help with the heavy lifting of boxes and opening presents. Just something to consider, having your Fiance come as well, then the other men might feel more welcome.
Post # 14
It wouldn’t bother me but it would depend on the man. Most men would rather be anywhere else. If there is only one man there, it would understandably be uncomfortable. But if it is indeed a coed party, then that’s a different vibe and you can’t compare the two.
Either way, it sounds like a massive communication failure because no one seems to be aware what is going on. That needs to be cleared up first and then move on with the party planning. If he will be the only guy there, then it doesn’t make sense to have him in attendance and move the party elsewhere so that there is no discomfort factor for anyone.
Post # 15
It depends on the type of shower and the Man I think. I’m inviting guys to my shower so it probably won’t just be one that shows up, but there will most likely be more women there. We are not doing anything too girly though, we’re having a casino gambling theme which is very co-ed friendly. I think if you’re going to invite him, you should consider inviting other guys and doing a co-ed friendly kinda theme.