Post # 1
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
This is the first time I’ve ever been a bridesmaid. In between purchasing the bridesmaid dress, shoes, bachelorette party, lodging and travel expenses, I have totaled a sum of nearly $1000. Money is really tight at the moment and I’m not sure how much I’m expected to spend on a wedding gift.
I’ve read that bridal party members are expected to spend more because of the honor it is to be asked to be in a wedding. The bride and I are not really close friends and had I not had to spend money on all the bridal party stuff, I normally would have spent around $50 on a gift which is the norm here. What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
Member
934 posts
Busy bee
@Autumnsnow: I think that you should spend what you can afford and would normally spend. I wouldn’t worry about it too much!
Post # 4
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Autumnsnow: I wouldnt buy a gift after spending that amount if you normally only give $50 anyway. We generally give $100-250 in my social circle and I am letting my bridesmaids know now that I want absolutely no gift from them bc they are already incurring expenses.
Post # 5
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
I’ve been a bridesmaid like 7 times…..I think I recall the bride telling us that we did NOT need to give a gift since we were spending so much money on our dresses, shoes, etc. and bachelorette party that a gift was not needed and definitely not expected.
Wow….$1000 to be a bridesmaid? Holy smokes!
Post # 6
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
I’d say something small in the $30-40 range. But I still think you need to get her something unless she says otherwise.
Post # 7
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
Spend what you would normally spend. Maybe a bit more if you’re uncomfortable. Don’t be excessive – spend what is normal to you and your region. And spend what you can afford!
Post # 8
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
As a bridesmaid even with a $200 shower contribution I always spend around $100 on the shower gift more for my sisters. Plus cash at the wedding $125-$300 depends on the relationship. Being a bm is a huge financial commitment I’m sure the bride won’t be upset if you don’t spend a fortune.
Post # 9
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
I wouldn’t have agreed to be in a wedding party if I wasn’t close friends with the bride (or groom), so honestly I have no advice other then just spend what you would normally spend if you were just a regular gUest
Post # 10
Hostess
2999 posts
Sugar bee
$50 is fine if that is the norm!
PS – I’ve been in many weddings and would say that the $1,000 is VERY accurate!
Post # 11
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
Wow, that’s a lot!! Honestly, even if my bridesmaids only paid $200 (what I’m hoping they will pay), I would only expect a card. I’m going to try to tell them that, though I’m sure they’ll still get gifts. If it were me, I would probably spend about $50 and write a long message in the card!
Post # 12
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
My moh’s have probably spent about 600 total and I don’t expect anything from them.. If they want to get me a nice card I’d be happy
Post # 13
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
If $50 is what you would spend, spend that. And it’s not an “honour” to be in someone’s wedding. I think we can all admit it’s a huge favour and a colossal pain in the ass (while also sometimes being really fun).
–Scrooge McBride
Post # 14
Member
8483 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Good grief, I feel bad about asking my girls to spend $100, I couldnt imagine just expecting someone to spend $1000 on MY wedding.
Post # 15
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
First of all, I think 1,000 is insane to ask someone to spend to be in your wedding (unless your entire social circle is loaded). My bridesmaids have spent between 140 and 150 on attire (the dresses were between 80 and 120 at David’s Bridal– different styles– the shoes were 20 and the girl whose dress was 80 had to have alterations done which were 50). I am purcashing the jewelry as a part of the their gift. They all live within a 2 hour drive so the max they will spend on gas is $50. I am paying for the hotel they stay in the night of the rehearsal dinner and they are all driving home after the wedding (since Easter is the next day, although I offered to pay for another night). The did spend around 30 on lingerie party gifts and for dinner/drinks at my bachelorette party (probably spent a total of about 40 dollars each on food/drinks). So THE MOST they have spent is $270. The lingerie party was a TOTAL suprise and I certianly did not expect them to pay for all my food/drinks but they would not let me pay.. I was hoping they’d only spend the 200 on attire and gas. I have told them that I DO NOT want them to purchase us a wedding gift, that they have done enough already. Two of my girls are my best friends and I am sure they will anyways.. and the other is my cousin who is still in college (her mom technically paid for all her bridesmaids stuff anyways) and I am sure a gift will come from her entire family but I really, really hope they listen and do not get me anything. What they have done is more than enough. Not to mention all the time they have spent helping me and emotional supprt (haha).
However, unless the bride says “no gift expected” I would probably get something.. Don’t feel obligated to spend a fortune. If 50 is normal for you, then just do 50. If this was your best friend, I might suggest a little more but not when you aren’t even that close.
Post # 16
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
Wow $1,000 is a lot of money for a bridesmaid! I took my girls to the fashion district in downtown L.A for their bridesmaid dresses and although it was a bit sketchy we got their dresses for $95 when originally they are $450. They are gorgeous! They are wearing flats so shoes won’t be expensive and I will be paying for their hair and make up. I have three bridesmaids and I told them they did not have to get me a gift since they are buying the dress (which I offered to pay for) but they outright refused. We are very close so they want to get me a gift but I would not be offended if they didn’t. If you can’t afford it don’t get one. I am sure she will understand. Besides, don’t you have a year to get a gift? You can always give one later when money is not so tight.
