Post # 1
I’ve found myself in a sticky situation. One of my good friends is getting married but I’m a little put off by how much money we have been asked to spend for the bachelorette party.
So, when as a bridesmaid, do you say…enough is enough…I just can’t afford this.
Edit: For a LOCAL hometown party (Your home is 20 miles max from the hotel)
Post # 3
I think it really depends if you want to do the activity being planned. For example, I would pay $1000 for a long weekend getaway to somewhere I wanted to go, but probably wouldn’t want to pay $200 for table service in a club I didn’t like.
What is the bachelorette party?
Post # 4
A night in our local city (LA). Sex toy party ($80 a head), Dinner ($60 a head), Hotel ($240 a room), VIP Club pass ($40 a person) – doesn’t include drinks, Brunch the next day ($75 a head), Matching Dresses ($50 each).
I don’t drink and am on a strict diet due to a gluten allergy. So as you can see most of this would be not my cup of tea…I’d be paying for something I couldn’t participate in in most cases.
Post # 5
i have this same problem!! the bride (in my situation) wants a weekend getaway. and idk how doable that is :/
Post # 6
My budget as a bridesmaid at a bachelorette party would be < $200. So I wouldn’t be able to afford a weekend away or anything like that.
Post # 7
@AnonBeeLee: Wow! Could you maybe do the evening portion of the party but skip the hotel room and next-day stuff? I’ve had to do that before, and the bride understood.
Post # 8
This depends on the situation. If we have agreed beforehand (or if it was partly my idea) to do something expensive (like a trip) then my budget would probably be $1000 (just a guess for a weekend getaway).
If we were just staying in town, I’d be ok with $200 (or slightly more) total depending on what it was (split hotel rooms, dinner, drinks, cover, decorations, gift?).
@AnonBeeLee: I wouldn’t want to spend that much for that if I was in your shoes. Why is the hotel room so much? Are you each getting your own? Can you split it? I would be ok with it without the hotel room (only if it was cheaper/split) and without the matching dresses. I find it a little silly you have to buy matching dresses for a bachelorette party.
Who is asking you to spend this amount? As a bridesmaid, shouldn’t you have a hand in planning it?
Post # 9
I didnt answer the poll because I think it would also depend on how much time I knew before hand and how much time I had to save up.. If she’s been planning her wedding for a year, I’d imagine she’s (or MOH) had an idea as to what she wanted to do for her bachelorette party, thus having a ball park number to tell her bridesmaids..
If I she has been planning the wedding for over a year, I’d be saving up money, and would probably say the budget would be close to $500.. if it’s been in the plans for 6 months or less, I’d say the budget would be about $200
Post # 10
If you skip brunch and split the rooms appopriately, it comes out to $240 per person which isn’t that bad.
Brunch is super expensive! More expensive than dinner: YIKES!
Also, the Sex Toy Party is $80 a head? They should be free.
EDIT: I skipped the matching dress because that’s just dumb. Maybe skip the party and the brunch and go for the dinner/club/hotel?
Post # 11
A bachelorette party is thrown as a gift for the bride from the bridal party: is it the bride who wants all of these things or is it the Maid/Matron of Honor or other overbearing bridesmaid that’s running the show?
The budget should be a decision between everyone in the bridal party. Of course it’s important to have a party the bride will enjoy, but it’s not up to her to dictate how much money you all should spend.
Is it just bridal party at the bachelorette, or others as well? If the latter, could you split the hotel cost between more people? I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my sister, and that’s what I did. We got a huge room and split it evenly between all of the guests. It’s just one aspect of the entire situation you’re facing, but it does seem to be the biggest chunk of change.
Post # 12
Why is the sex toy party so much?? I’ve only ever heard of those being like pampered chef parties – it is free, but they aim to sell you stuff.
If I were you I’d veto the brunch and the matching dresses.
Post # 13
Ideally I would like to skip the hotel and brunch.
The hotel is $240 a room and a lot of girls are sharing a room. But I don’t know ANY of the girls and I have IBS (hence the gluten free), which makes sharing a room and bathroom with girls i don’t know very terrifying.
And the sex toy party is $80 a head because the Maid/Matron of Honor wants us all to contribute that much so the Bride has a spending budget from us as “gifts”.
Also, the Bride wanted to do Vegas initially a couple of months ago and i had to decline. So I think her idea was a little more grand and expensive, so the Maid/Matron of Honor took over planning this and I believe sees it as the more “affordable” option.
My DH is having a freaking heart attack over this. He’s so angry. But I have a hard time saying no.
I also wasn’t able to fly to New York with the Bride and the rest of the bridesmaids to go to Kleinfeld’s to get her dress. Because I couldn’t afford it.
I also couldn’t make the bridesmaid luncheon the Maid/Matron of Honor held because I had to work.
Mainly, i already feel like they look at me like the “bad bridesmaid” that doesn’t participate in anything. But i did co-host the shower and that was $150 on its own (without the $50 gift).
Ugh…i’m ranting. Sorry. I love her to death but this is just getting out of control.
Post # 14
I hope the bride enjoys her $500 of sex toys!
Post # 15
I think it really depends. We’re going across the country for my bachelorette, but it’s within everyone’s budget. I would spend a pretty penny on a bachelorette for one of my closest friends, but I’m in a pretty good financial situation to afford it.
Post # 16
@AnonBeeLee: Eeek…it does sound like she is adding up the expenses! Flying to NY to look at dresses? I would have said a big sorry on that one. What was the point of the bridesmaids luncheon? Hell, if it was me I’d rather take that $500 on a night in Vegas over those sex-toy parties and brunches! At least then maybe you could win some money back