Post # 17
@AnonBeeLee: Lord almighty.
I’d tell the Maid/Matron of Honor that you’re already giving the bride gifts – at the shower and wedding. Maybe I’m a cheapass, but I don’t think gifts are necessary at a bachelorette party (though I have given bach party gifts to very close friends). Especially not $80/bridesmaid worth of sex toys. Shit.
Also, I hear you about the hotel room. I have undiagnosed digestive issues and sharing a bathroom with girls I don’t know sounds horrible. Is it possible to have your hubby pick you up that night, and skip the hotel, or are the plans for the night just too far away from home?
I agree with @babymakes3:
screw the matching dresses (you’re already buying a matching dress for the wedding!) and the brunch (which happens to cost more than dinner…what?)
Just hearing you describe this situation, with the flying to NY for the dress and plans for a grand Vegas bachelorette party makes me think of the movie Bridesmaids…a case of the few who can afford to throw money around not being thoughtful to everyone involved. For the record, I thought that movie was depressing, with glints of humor.
You aren’t a bad bridesmaid. The MOH/BP are asking for too much.
Post # 18
$75 for brunch? that’s crazy! I’d love to know where this is being held so I can check out their menu. Even brunch at the Four Seasons is only $45 per person. The matching dresses are also ridiculous. And what is the bride going to do with hundreds of dollars worth of sex toys?!
Post # 19
And flying to New York to go shopping with the bride is ABSURD! Like this blows my mind. Who has time for that, let alone the money. I took my Maid/Matron of Honor with me to one appointment and that was local. I didn’t even want to bother the rest of my BMs with watching me try on dresses.
Post # 20
@AnonBeeLee: “I also wasn’t able to fly to New York with the Bride and the rest of the bridesmaids to go to Kleinfeld’s to get her dress. “
WEE-WAH! WEE-WAH! BRIDEZILLA ALERT!
Politely decline. Or just go out for dinner and skip the hotel room. Maybe you can talk the Maid/Matron of Honor out of the matching dresses, this is ridiculous.
ETA: The Bride’s not this lady is she? http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/bridezilla-email-goes-viral-o-m-g (joking, but similar)
Post # 21
@Meowkers: We have to rent a private room at the restaraunt for brunch, that’s why it’s so much more expensive. There’s going to be about 15 girls so it’s such a process when it comes to accomodations.
As for the matching dresses, even if I veto it…some of them already have the dresses. So if all the bridesmaids are wearing them and then there’s me…I’ll feel even more left out than I already do. It really sucks.
I’m hoping he can pick me up! I’ve talked to him about it. We’re about 40 minutes away, so I’m hoping he sees how it’s much better than me spending $240!
There’s only 4 of us in the wedding party, so the sex toy budget won’t be THAT large. Even though $320 is still pretty crazy. But this lady apparently has a bunch of lingere as well. So it won’t be all electronics 🙂
I think I’m going to talk to the Bride and skip the hotel and brunch. Thanks ladies. I feel a lot more confident going to her and saying that’s it too much knowing that most of you wouldn’t spend this much either.
Post # 22
I have to note that she was also in my wedding. She spent $60 on my bachelorette party and brought no gift.
(and it was 2 night stay at the beach)
Post # 23
@AnonBeeLee: So I have a gluten allergy and was pregnant for a bachelorette party that was semi destination. I was asked to contribute $200 for one night in a hotel (turned out to be a motel) and drinks and dinner. I didn’t want to pay for drinks, and dinner turned out to be Costco pizzas and pasta salad in the motel before bar hopping so I ended up spending another $40 on dinner for myself at the first place that we went – I was starving and I was pissed! Definitely let them know how you feel…I get that it’s about the bride, but all attendees should feel comfortable with what they’re contributing too.
Post # 24
$200 for a local b party? Like dinner, drinks, transportation going out and dancing? What you’re being asked to pay for seems a little excessive…I’d rather spend more $$ on getting the newlyweds a fab gift than on a night of entertainment, much of which seems a little over the top.
Post # 25
@Ellegee: More power to you for going when you were pregnant! Honestly, this might be a factor as well (hopefully).
Post # 26
@paula1248: Haha it’s not. She’s actually a really sweet girl and started this planning process saying that she “didn’t want the bridal party to spend a lot of money”. But her idea of ‘a lot of money’ differs greatly from mine. She buys all her clothes at Bloomingdales and I only buy second hand clothes.
When I had my wedding she specifically said to me, “I’m going to do it exactly like you’re doing so I don’t inconvenience anyone when it comes to spending a lot of money”
Boy did it go the opposite way!
Post # 27
Post # 28
@AnonBeeLee: Sometimes I think topics are made up on WB. I’d like this one to be faux. Not that the OP sounds insincere, but for her sake I HOPE the ridiculous excess of Bridey-poo are fake.
Shaking my head over matching dresses and flying in to Kleinfeld’s.
Post # 29
@FauxPas2012: yah, I wish I were making this up.
Post # 30
It really just depends on how comfy you are and how much the other BMs want to help. Im in a bridal party of 3 and we are going vegas this summer for the bachelorette party. I am paying for the brides plane fair and we are all chipping in for the hotel. I have no problem paying for this but thats me so I voted no budget. You should only do what you are comfortable with.
I also would like to add, that if I CANNOT find a dress I love in my own city or close outter limits, I WILL be flying to Kleinfeld and paying for my Mother to come as well as the Hotel stay & half the ticket cost for everyone. Its been a dream of mine to go there but I will try to find something here first. My city does not carry the designers I love here nor do we have the bridal shops like the states here. I refuse to settle on a dress just because my bridal party cant afford to come to NY but I think if Im paying for half of it they may be able to work something out with good notice. We have already had this talk and they understand that there is that possibility.
Post # 31
@AnonBeeLee I was a bride who wanted an out of town weekend bachelorette. We all flew to Nashville, stayed in a hotel, went out to dinner and bars. When my Maid/Matron of Honor started planning this, we both knew that some people wouldn’t be able to come, as it was a lot of money. I told everyone that I would love them to be there, but I 100% understand if they couldn’t attend, and I wouldn’t be upset. A few of my bridesmaids coulnd’t make it, and I totally got it. Maybe you could talk to the bride…she’s one of your best friends…she should understand. I bet she doesn’t even realize that you are this upset over it, and I’m sure she doesn’t realize all of the elaborate plans her Maid/Matron of Honor has demanded of you. Honesty and communication with the bride works best in situations like this.