(Closed) As a first time momma…how would you prefer for a friend to help with meals?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m not a mama yet, but from what I’ve heard, something like option 2 is best – that way, they can heat things up on their schedule, and having some extra groceries/easy to eat foods is great for breastfeeding moms – who will be extra hungry and will need things they can eat with one hand while the other holds the baby! (Things like ingredients for sandwich wraps, granola bars, etc.) What a sweet friend you are!

Post # 3
5844 posts
Bee Keeper

HeyJude72:  Personally having done it myself, sometimes people just don’t want anyone coming over after they’ve given birth.  It means they have to get dressed and get ready.   I would make sure your friend is okay with this before you start barraging her with meals, while your thought is sweet, make sure that she wants this before you start this.  I would want meals that were healthy (as I would be trying to 1. loose the weight I gained in pregnancy, 2. keep up my supply for my baby), so drop option 1.  Option 2 is fine, however I would actually either give them the meals pre-cooked (as in YOU made them) not go buy actual freezer meals because those are high in bad calories and they need healthy fats, and healthy meals (as in mother and baby).  I wouldn’t have option 3, I would find it annoying to have to go answer the door ESPECIALLY if I had just gotten my child to sleep.  And option 4 would be too much for me (I’m an introvert and I wouldn’t want to be seeing someone that often).

For me, I think your thought is sweet.  But you want to make sure she won’t mind you either coming frequently to drop off meals, or having someone else do this (option 3).  I would discuss this now.  I personally find the time after birth to be the time I spend with my family (child and husband) not everyone.  We chose to spend our first 6 weeks with just us, no one was allowed to visit because I only had 6 weeks of uninterrupted time with my daughter before I had to go back to work.  I didn’t want people coming buy and dropping us meals off at our doors.  It meant I was losing time with either my husband (he still worked) or my daughter.  What we had was a friend before I gave birth bought us a crockpot and some receipes and ingredients and told my husband what he needed to do and that was that.  my mom also brought over some freezer meals that she made that could just be heated in the microwave by my husband as well.

So I would just make sure as I’ve said before that she won’t mind that many visits after having her child.  And TEXT before you come because you don’t want to wake her child up.  I’d straight up shank someone if I had just gotten my daughter down and someone woke her up.

Post # 4
4040 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Option 2. My daughter is 7 weeks my BFF did option 2 and it was amazing! Didn’t have to worry about going to the grocery store or actually “cooking”

Post # 5
2848 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think option 2 is best!  Freezer ready soups and casseroles and other dishes are perfect!

Post # 6
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Generally speaking, while not with a new baby but with other health problems/hospital stays, a mix of easy to grab and eat (granola, easy mac, pre cut fruits and veggies etc) plus meals frozen ready to stick in the oven/micro/crock pot rock.

If you do something where it is ready to eat meals dropped off by people,  encourage them to be okay with literally knocking,  setting it on the porch and leaving. I know when we had some friends bringing food because my dad and gpa ended up in the hospital the same day, the only thing we wanted to do at home was sleep and eat. Not try and be social with whoever brought food over. It was very appreciated but much more so when the social interaction was limited to two minutes or less. I’m a sure with a new baby the thought is similar.  

Post # 7
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Freezer meals for sure. Also, snacks that can be eaten with one hand with minimal mess. I felt horrible when I dropped a ziti on my bfing  sons head 🙁 I actually only got one sit down meal with my family in the first few weeks of his life.

This is so sweet of you! 

Post # 8
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

HeyJude72:  Not a mom yet, but most of my friends are.  They all say that freezer meals are best so there’s no pressure to eat them in a certain time frame.  More specifically, one pot, easy freezer meals!  New moms have no time (or energy!) to be prepping things. Also, one of my firends is a health nut, so when she delivered, we also all took turns bringing over fresh amazing salads (all assembled and ready to eat) to add to her freezer meals.  That just took a little communication among friends so she didn’t end up with too much at once. 

Post # 9
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

As a FTM, I would have appreciated option 2. I find it is super easy to just throw a bag of stuff in the crockpot or in the microwave and be done. Like a PP said, homemade meals, not prepackages like Lean Cusine.

I would suggest breakfast sandwiches. I usually do an english muffin, a slice of ham, low fat cheese, and one egg. Wrap them in saran wrap and into the freezer they go. I do this now as I do not have the time every morning before work to make a healthy breakfast. I also found breakfast was one of the HARDEST meals for me to make when I first had my son.

You could also make smoothie packs. I freeze Greek yogurt in an ice cube tray. Then I take sandwich bags, pop 2 cubes in the bag, 3/4 cup of frozen or fresh fruit, and all she would have to do is add orange juice, apple juice, milk, whatever she wanted and blend.

You could also do salad in a jar, chicken with all the veggies in a freezer bag so all she had to do was dump it in the crock pot, etc. Pintrest has a TON of healthy crockpot freezer meals.

This is a great idea, and she will sure appreciate it. Just make sure she has the freezer space, and possibly get it done before she has her child in case she doesn’t want any visitors the first week or two.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  megz06.
Post # 10
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Home cooked  frozen meals suppemented by salads and fresh fruit.

HeyJude72:  ps don’t get paranoid about waking up the baby. There is absolutely no need to be extra quiet around the house so baby can sleep. They can sleep through phone calls, door bells, vacuums etc. Isolating yourself for  weeks by declining visitors is not the norm.

Post # 13
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not a mom yet but I know that it would drive me crazy if someone did option 1 since we eat healthy at home, and don’t eat fast food or anything like that.  Make sure you know what your friends like to eat before you help them out with food!  That said, Option 2 would be best, like some fresh baked muffins or whatever, doesnt’ have to be a big dinner – husbands can cook too 🙂

Post # 15
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’m going against the grain. When I had my DS, I LOVED option 1. Reason being: people were coming over to visit anyways. You couldn’t stop them with a freight train. I didn’t mind, but what I HATED was when people would show up at dinner time with no food. I’d feel the need to entertain and take care of the baby and I was STARVING the whole time.

I’d have much prefered they bring something from takeout. Then they could hold the baby while I actually sat down and ate with two hands, something I couldn’t do when I was home all day alone.

It’s a win-win for everyone. They get to visit and hold the baby, I get to eat real food that I didn’t have to prepare and we served everything on paper so I didn’t have to clean!

From now on, I will NEVER visit anyone who just had a baby without bringing something for them to eat!

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