(Closed) As a guest at a wedding would you find this tacky?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is having signature drinks that guests have to pay for tacky?

    Yes - super tacky! Don't do it!

    No - it is fun to have options, I would pay for it!

    No - but I wouldn't pay for it.

  • Post # 91
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I associate NYE weddings with VERY fancy events – like a charity gala, etc.  I would expect a cocktail hour with passed apps, multi-course meal, live band, top shelf, etc.  

    I think that’s the price you have to pay if you’re hosting a party on a party holiday.

    Post # 92
    2251 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    3 kegs of beer is not gonna take you anywhere.  It’s very embarrassing to run out of alcohol at a wedding. 

    Post # 93
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Don’t provide a signature drink if you’re not footing the bill for it. 

    I don’t care for cash bars–I never even think to bring cash to a wedding. I’d just provide beer and wine and nothing else. As many PPs have said, 3 kegs and 30 bottles of wine isn’t nearly enough, especially on NYE.

    Post # 94
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I would not do a signature drink that you have to pay for; I do think it’s tacky. I think signature drinks are very cool, but I also think of them as a way to help keep the costs of alcohol down. I also think people would be confused if they had to pay for a special drink chosen by the bride and groom for their big day.

    However, I don’t really see what the problem with cash bars.  If you only offer beer and wine and you have a guest who doesn’t like either of those, having a cash bar would be a considerate thing.  I hate beer and only like specific types of wine.  So if I was a guest, and there’s no cash bar, you’re basically relegating me to having no alcohol at all or bringing in my own – which is the basically the same as buying it from the cash bar. And your venue may not even allow outside drinks to be brought in. I don’t drink a lot, but I might be peeved if I couldn’t even buy a drink I actually like on NYE.

    I think that forcing people who don’t like your signature drinks or beer/wine to not have any drinks at all is far more rude than offering them more options. At least with a cash bar, I can politely decline what the bride and groom chose and get something that suits me (beer makes me ill, and wine tends to give me headaches).

    Being a good host has far more to do with being gracious and accomodating as possible of your guests needs than it does with paying for everything. And the road goes both ways, guests are also supposed to be gracious to their hosts and appreciate that they have been invited to such an important event.

    Another thing to consider would be a drink ticketing system. Instead of beer or wine, you could have two or three drinks of choice per guest and cash bar for anything more than that.  If one doesn’t want to drink they can give their extra tickets to someone else who does. That’s something that our venue offered in place of beer/wine or signature drinks.

    We ended up going with two wines I picked and actually bought directly from the winery (to pair with the cake), hard apple cider (my ‘signature drink’) and three types of canadian beer (my husbands’ signature drinks). We’re having a very small afternoon wedding/lunch reception and everyone has to drive home after, so most of our guests won’t be drinking very much.

    We are having our reception at a restaurant, which has a bar in it. Since we are having a bar tender to serve our other drinks, there’s an open bar included pretty much automatically.  I don’t think anyone will need to utilize it, since I know a lot of the guests don’t drink in the first place, and those who do like the alcohol we’re serving and in some cases helped me pick it out. 😉 We bought enough alcohol so that each guest could have a glass of wine, a bottle of cider, and a beer – even those who I know don’t drink, which I think helps offset those who might want to drink more – but I figure three drinks for a lunch reception that’s only a couple hours long is probably plenty?

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by AppleDainty.
    Post # 95
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Wait how can you afford to have/feed 200 people at your wedding but can’t afford the proper quantity of alcohol? Skip the signature drink and buy some more wine/champagne/beer. 

    Post # 96
    3895 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    :/ kinda

    Post # 97
    17 posts
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I find the cash bar to be cheap too… 

    Post # 98
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    MissAviatorBee:  yeah that was a question I had too. most of us have budgets.  I had 45 people at my wedding so I could afford to host them all properly. 

    Post # 99
    3107 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    I grew up with cash bars as a norm but where I live now it’s much less common, however I would find it confusing to see a drink being offered out like that only to find I have to pay for it and I would probably be a little annoyed. I think its much classier to offer what you can afford and if someone has a special request they can pay for that themselves, instead of you suggesting they pay for something. 

    Post # 100
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I got married in April, and we had 14 bottles of wine for 75 guests. All of it was gone before we even got back from pictures (I would know, cause I didn’t even get any!) and both of our families are not even heavy drinkers. You are -by far- going to need more wine, I promise you.

    Post # 101
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    freckles071611:  thats not the norm everywhere. Here, it would only be a very rich family who supplied a full open bar. Any wedding or other celebration ive gone to has had beer and wine supplied (a couple of different varieties)  and a cash bar for liquor. The beer and wine packages usually provide a light beer, a full strength beer, cider, a popular white, a moscato, a couple of reds and soft drink, coffee etc. I always have a little cash on me at weddings because id like a mixer drink at some point during the night for the sugar and i have never had a problem paying for that.  It would be tacky here to have a signature drink that was paid for though, or a full cash bar.  

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