(Closed) As a guest, what do you gift when you are not attending a wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Depends on the relationship. If it’s a good friend/close family member I send the send a gift as if I were attending. If it’s a distant relative I’ve never even met (it happens) then I don’t bother sending anything.

Post # 4
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m in this position – a good friend is getting married in May and I can’t go and I’m debating between sending her the vacuum she registred for (sounds lame, but she would love it) or a giftcard of equal value.

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If I’m close to them I’ll mail a gift card

Post # 6
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Usually a card with cash or have the registry ship the present to their home what ever works for me at the time!

Post # 7
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

There haven’t been a lot of times.  Once I didn’t send anything, I wasn’t close to them at all.

Once, a co worker, I got her a case of nice Riedel Vine Glasses (about $150 worth)

Once, a friend/coworker, I couldn’t make it to he Destination Wedding, so I organized a Bridal Shower/Stagette and bought her the big KitchenAid mixer (about $400).

 

 

Post # 9
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I normally give less. Of the guests who weren’t able to make it to our wedding the average gift was $75, so roughly half what the normal gift that attendees gave ($150)

Post # 10
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

As a bride, I would prefer something from the registry or a check in the mail.

Post # 11
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would usually try to give enough to cover the plates and a little more.   Depends on the wedding, but If I’m not attending, anything I send is bonus.  I don’t expect anyone that doesn’t attend to give me anything.   I would be happy with a nice card.   I guess it depends on how close you are to them.

Post # 12
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’ve only ever declined one wedding and we weren’t close friends (went to school together for a few months but hadn’t seen her for at least a year).  I planned to send a card and asked for her address, but she never gave it to me (I asked twice).  So….I didn’t send anything!

Post # 13
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

a check.

Post # 14
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly, just a card.

If it’s a family member or a very close friend, I still send a gift or a card with a check in it (of equal value to what I would get if I was able to attend).

Edit: This is based on my experience for my wedding, too.  I would have never expected guests who were unable to attend to still fork over $.  That’s just me, though.

Post # 15
Member
869 posts
Busy bee

I usually send $ or a gift card, and usually for about half of what I’d give if I were attending the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It depends why I’m not attending. If it’s someone close to me & I wanted to attend but could not for whatever reason, I would actually probably buy something off the registry worth more than I would spend had I been able to attend. My reasoning is that I didn’t have to spend money to travel, buy a new dress, etc. I also feel like it is sort of an “apology” for missing the special day.

If it is someone I’m not close to, I would probably send something of equal value to what I’d give if I were to attend. I would guess around $50, but it really depends on the relationship.

If it’s someone I don’t know (never had this happen), I might send a card.

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