(Closed) As a Mother, Could You Do It? Could you help your child through this?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m really sorry, OP.  I honestly don’t know what EoE is, but one of the greatest challenges that any mother has is when her child has a disability or an illness, regardless of what it is.  I also don’t honestly know how any mother can bare to watch her child suffer, but you WILL find the strength somehow because you don’t really have any other choice, as sad as that is.  Sometimes we don’t really know HOW exactly we get through things, we just do, and so will you.  You’ll get through this and you’ll be the rock that your daughter needs in this storm.  I do think it’s okay to let your daughter see you crying over it, though, because those tears only go to show how much you love her and that you hate all of this just as much as she does.  I’d also recommend against blaming yourself for what is happening to your daughter because you need to focus on what can be done for her now, and I’m sure that you always do the very best that you can for her.  Hang in there.  I hope things look up for you and your family soon!

Post # 4
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m very sorry for what you’re going through, I don’t know what the acronyms means, but it sounds just awful!

To answer your question tho, you don’t have a choice, you are her mother so you have to. It’s hard, and it may never get any easier, but as a mother it’s your job to walk this road with your child, so I’m not sure if this is a rhetorical question or what?

Post # 5
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I also don’t know what that is, but I am SO sorry you, your daughter, and your whole family is going through. I can’t even imagine. I am sending prayers your way!

Post # 6
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Yes. Yes you can.

You have to somehow pull a positive out of it. In there, somewhere, there is some positive. Find it. Hold on to it. And hope with it. (I am speaking from very first hand experience with my very ill son).

The behavior, it comes with being a sick child. Part of it is, as parents, we want to give our child everything to make them feel better and not feel like the oddball for having all these awful things happen to them. In my opinion, there is not a damn thing wrong with that. Everytime my son had a surgery (we’re up to 10 right now), I showered him with gifts (as did everyone else we know). Theyre a child. Theyre youre baby. You try your best to make them happy. Thats what your supposed to do. If theyre a little spoiled, bratty or self centered, so be it. You can address those issues when theyre better.

Physically, they will go up and down like a yoyo. Some days/weeks/months better than others. The only way to get thru it is to make sure youre doing the best for them and by staying positive. You have to make this horrible time a happy time — for your kid. 

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I have been/am there. The only way to get thru these tough times without feeling like a failure and having a miserable kid is to pull out the positive and harp the hell out of it.

Good luck and HUGS!!! 

Post # 7
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry you & your daughter are going through this. All I have to say is that she is very lucky to have a mom like you, who cares so much about her. 

Post # 8
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

For anyone wondering what EoE is: http://apfed.org/drupal/drupal/what_is_eoe

OP, I am so sorry you have to go through this with your daughter. Seeing your child being put through painful medical procedures is something no parent should have to do but as her mother, you need to. You need to pick yourself and be there for her. You are not a bad mother, you did not give her EoE or make it worse. I really hope she doesn’t need to go on a formula only diet but if she does, you will do the best you can with it. I wish you and your daughter the best. 

Post # 9
Member
7489 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@dewingedpixie:  Do you feel up to telling what EoE and PPI are, or are you looking specifically for responses from people who already know what those mean?

Post # 10
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I grew up with a girl that had severe food allergies.   It took weeks/months to figure out the foods that would trigger them, it was all hit or miss.  Her mom put the whole family on the foods she could eat, and when they went places they brought food with them.  She set up a chart of foods they could eat, and we could eat when we were there, on the wall at their house.   This was  before the internet so there wasn’t much support and frankly alot of parents thought it was BS.  There are support groups online/real life you should reach out and use them that’s what they are there for.  You can do this, any mom would,  it’s your baby and you’ll do what it takes to make her healthier. 

Post # 11
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@dewingedpixie:  as a mother, you can do ANYTHING for your child.  You really can.  

My daughter was just last year diagnosed with a form of ADD.  For so long I gave her shit for not listening, not remembering,  When I found out what was really going on, I spent weeks feeling like the worst mother in the world.  Crying my eyes out. How did I not know?  Why didn’t she tell me what she was really feeling?  How many times did I ground for things she couldn’t help?  When the doctor told her that he knew what was going on, she said “mom he said he believes me, why didn’t you believe me?”

You know what though? We don’t always know everything, and we always want to think the best.  Maybe there were signs, maybe there weren’t.  What matters now that you know, is that you do everything you can to help her.

THAT is what matters, not whether you missed something or whether you should have known, but what you do with that knowledge you do have now.  You will get through this, and so will she.  Nothing good comes easy, you’ll make it through.

Post # 12
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@savealife:  Thank you.  I was really curious and even tried to look it up but it’s hard to find the correct expanded versions of acronyms on the Internet because there’s so many of them.

Post # 13
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Honestly it will be hard but you can do it! My brother, SIL and their two children are on a very restrictive dier. SIL was a vegetarian from birth and was 20 when diagnosed with celiac disease. My brother recently had an analphalytic reaction to avocadoes (which they ate all the time) on top of lactose intolerance. Top that off with children that have citrus and sulphite (preservatives in EVERYTHING!) allergies and there is not much they can eat.

They rarely go out to restaurants and when they come for a visit they make all their own food. It’s safer that way…and I’ve eaten a lot of things that she makes and they are good!

Post # 14
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@dewingedpixie:  You can do this! Your child feeds off of your emotions so you must stay positive & very strong…your attitude will affect how she deals with obstacles her whole life so this is your chance to help her become strong & be able to life a happy fulfilled life…children accept things way easier than us adults…hang in there & do some research & maybe chat with some naturopath people & some of these health food store people that are familiar with some of these things…and GOOD LUCK!!

Post # 15
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yes it is very difficult watching your child have to endure so much. My daughter was a severe asthmatic and had a seizure disorder to boot. One year, we were in ICU 37 times (I say we because I never left her side). You do it because you have to. I always tried to be very matter-of-fact about things but it is hard when your kid needs a ventilator to breathe. But if you look around in the hospital, you will see worse, like kids with cancer who won’t be getting better. At least she is treatable. Take comfort in that.

Believe it or not, I actually miss those days. Unfortunately my daughter lost her fight several years ago. I miss her. Give your sweetie a kiss for me, because I can never kiss my daughter until I too cross that great divide.

 

Post # 16
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@trueblue14:  so sorry to hear about your loss ;(

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