(Closed) As an African American bride is it wrong to incorporate African traditions

posted 5 years ago in African-American
Post # 4
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

My first thought is that no, it is not wrong!  I think it is great to embrace your heritage.  FI is Italian American and doesn’t know where in Italy he hails from, but he wants some Italian things incorporated into the wedding. 🙂

Post # 5
993 posts
Busy bee

@kemaib:  its not wrong at all by any means if you want to show some reverence toward your ancestors. 

Post # 7
13 posts

It’s your wedding. It would make it very fun and unique!

Post # 8
1502 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kemaib:  I don’t think it’s rude at all.  If you don’t know where specifically your ancestors are from, might as well do a little of everything!

FWIW, I’m trying to find a Rastafarian officant to perform our ceremony.  Neither my Fiance or I are Rasta, but we have a huge respect for the culture and their beliefs.  I don’t think it’s rude.

Post # 9
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You can pick and choose whatever traditions you want!

BAH and if anyone asks just says “CAUSE I CAN” that’s good enough reason for me! 🙂 

My mom stole an idea from the Kennedys (no relation at all), she wants shamrocks hidden in my dress. Is it something we do in my family? Nope. Is it something fun? Yup!

Post # 10
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Ill be honest here….. No it’s not wrong. It’s your wedding and you can do what you want. However, I would think it a bit strange.  i think if a family member of mine did a bunch of mexican traditions when I know half my family doesn’t even speak spanish or know where our family is from in mexico I would probably roll my eyes at it and I would find it kind of fake and almost trying too hard rather than a beautiful nod to our heritage.. Idk. I wouldn’t say to not do it but I would think it was a bit odd if I was a guest at your wedding. but that’s just me.


Post # 12
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@kemaib:  I think it could be creative and cool…However, I really hate terms title: African American, Mexican American, Italian American, ect. 

I think your concerns are valid because if you were born in America then you are American and nothing else. My best friend and her mother moved to America when she was 8 and her mother was 32. My best friend says she is german (which she is because she was born there) and her mother says she is American (because this is where she lives). My family goes back to Italy and Ireland but I do not consider myself Italian or Irish. My DHs father came here from Italy but my Darling Husband was born in America so he considers himself American. I do have italian family since many of them were born in Verona (well, near there). 

DO you feel comfortable portraying a culture you aren’t apart of? If you are alright with taking the identity of an African then I say that there should be no problem! Does anyone in your family practice African traditions? If not then are you comfortable with researching to make it fit your wedding? Is this for show or does it have meaning to you? 

I don’t think there is a wrong choice here but you should feel around to see what you think it best. I had a traditional italian meal served during cocktail hour because it is a tradition in my family but not because I have some Italian in me. Does that make sense? 

Post # 13
3235 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@stardustintheeyes:  I agree. If you normally don’t incorporate African traditions into other aspects of your life, then I might roll my eyes depending on what you chose to incorporate. I don’t think it’s “wrong” to incorporate African themes, but it might come across as fake.

Post # 15
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@kemaib:  I can respect that and like I said, there is no wrong answer. Don’t take this in the wrong way but I am curious if you are just interested in Africa or interested in being African? I never decided to be born in America either but nobody can really dictate that? I can PM you if you would rather/be willing to talk about it off your post. 🙂

I am in honesty just curious. 

Post # 16
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@stardustintheeyes:  +1

I would talk to an actual African to make sure you weren’t doing something unintentionally disrespectful.  They might be thrilled that someone not from the region wanted to honor their culture, who knows, but they might not be.  Also (like you said) the entire continent is not a collective so you might be better off talking to a person from the region you want to honor.  

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