Post # 1
My FI’s family is going two hours away for Thanksgiving to his grandparents home. As I am mixing a diabetic pumpkin pie for his grandfather, I am told we are NOT allowed to talk about the wedding, being engaged, and I MUST take the ring off.
GRRRRAAAAWWWWWWRRRR! This is the second time she’s asked me to take the ring off!
Here I am, baking her father a special pie, and she asks my Fiance – no TELLS him – that we can’t celebrate being happy?
I don’t know how I am going to be able to go there, and handle this. She has beaten me down so much, and I take it take it take it. I’m not sure I have anything left in me. If I go, and let her get away with it – she’ll think she can always get away with it.
She compared me to his brother’s girlfriend and said “SHE is bringing something, so I think W should do the same.” and my Fiance said ” She already planned on bringing something for everyone. A homemade pie. She doesn’t buy store brand.” and all she could say was ” Oh, she didn’t have to do that.”
What do I do? I am so wounded right now.
Post # 3
Why does she want you to pretend your not engaged? I feel their is some history here i dont know about??!!
Post # 4
Why doesn’t she want you to wear your ring? I wouldn’t listen to her.
Post # 5
I am sorry you are having to go through this. I think your Fiance should put his foot down and tell her that, yes you will be wearing your ring and sharing what you are thankful for; each other. His mother doesn’t get a say.
Post # 6
I would show up with my ring, four pies, and a big smile and be sweet as… pie….. the whole weekend 🙂 I don’t know the back story here, but kill her with kindness hon!
Post # 7
Why does she want you to not talk about the wedding? Why does she want you to take off your ring?
She really has no right to tell you what you can and can’t talk about, and certainly what jewelry you can or cannot wear.
Wear your ring and have your fiance deal with his mother if it becomes an issue.
Post # 8
@wgowood:That’s awful, I’m so sorry.
I would be wounded, too.
However, I’m sure you were happy even before your engagement. Pretend like you’re almost engaged? Do you know what the reason is for keeping the secret?
Also, ask your fiance to stand up to her for you. He’s closer to you, and he should support you and help.
Post # 9
who is she? your FMIL? what is her problem with your engagement and what does your Fiance say about this?
Post # 10
I’m assuming this is your FI’s mother?
You need to take a stand with the support of your fiance. I would not put up with being hidden away like a dirty secret. Not cool.
Post # 11
I am happy and proud of my engagement. I wouldn’t take my ring off or hide it for anyone no matter who it may hurt or upset and I don’t think you should either.
How does your Fiance feel about it?
Post # 12
There isn’t much back story to give. Before we got engaged, she was nice to me. As soon as we got engaged, she started saying and doing anything to hurt me, and hurt us. She hasn’t approved and I don’t know why.
On his birthday, she called him and cursed him out. He came to me super upset, so I baked him a cake. The day after, we had dinner with them. She got so pissed at me for baking for him that she challenged me to a bake off. Then texted me saying that she still believed we should not get married, and that we said we weren’t moving forward because she said no, which I respectfully said that we had never agreed to that, and that the wedding had been on this entire time.
She’s tried to time crunch so I’ll miss important dinners, throw his brother’s girlfriend in my face saying how special SHE is, and I just can’t take this.
I’m so hurt, everyone. It’s taking all I have not to bawl my eyes out.
Post # 13
@MissTatas: My Fiance HATES it, and hung up on her.
@trugem: She claims it’s a secret because his grandparents wouldn’t be happy for us, but she’s speaking out of her feelings because she isn’t happy.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t take off the ring either!!
& you’re right, if you keep letting her walk all over you, she’ll think she can get away with it. You have to stand up to her. Your Fiance needs to stand up to her too!
I hope everything works out!
Post # 15
@wgowood: I can’t believe that she would act like that. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I would wear my ring and kill her with kindness.
Post # 16
Why does his mother not support your marriage? The pumpkin pie sounds good, I bet his grandparents will love it.