Post # 1
I’m Maid/Matron of Honor0 and only bridesmaid in my friend’s upcoming wedding. I initially had a bit of a difficult time settling on a bachelorette concept since my friend doesn’t drink (alcohol of any kind), dance, play sports or like physical activity and has many diet restrictions. Ultimately, she requested dinner at her favourite restaurant (think about $25pp) and then drinks afterwards for the other girls at a nearby pub. After that, who knows. She wants wants to stay in a downtown hotel which run $250-$500+ per night depending on hotel and room size.
There will only be five guests at the bachelorette and (as evidenced by my other posts), I’m having difficulty deciding on the hotel situation. I’m not sure if I should be getting 2 rooms (like maybe one with two double beds and one with a king and a sofa bed) or 1 room (king and sofa bed) and having everyone cram into it. I’ve posed the question to both the bride and the other girls. The bride said she doesn’t care, one girl said she’s always up for the cheapest option, the other two never responded at all. The girls don’t know each-other, by the way, only the bride. All aged 23-28.
I can’t decided if I should book one room where we’ll be a bit squished in but only paying about $60/each, or just bite the bullet and book two rooms. I can expect about a $500 bill from the two rooms, probably, but if I make each girl cough up about $75, at least it will subsidize the bill (and I’d cover the remainder). Since the bride doesn’t drink or club, maybe I should splurge in this area instead?
So I guess my question is: how much, as Maid/Matron of Honor and only bridesmaid, would you expect to spend at the bachelorette? Because it it’s a lot, maybe I should be splurging. And if not, maybe I shouldn’t be footing a $400-$500 bill at the end of the night? Help!
Post # 2
I think this is totally dependent on what’s normal for your friend group. It doesn’t sound like everyone knows one another, so I think it might make more sense to get one room so that people aren’t split up. Can you get a larger suite at one hotel?
At all the bachelorettes I’ve gone to everyone has split the costs equally (minus the bride).
Post # 3
Usually the bridesmaids split the cost of the party, but since there is only you I would consider the other guests unoffical “bridesmaids” and let them know they will need to pay for themselves, even if you can cover the bride and accomadations for everyone. You may find the other people are willing to pitch in for part of the brides cost.
What about doing a Spa day and cover some services for just you and the bride?
Post # 4
I’ve always seen everyone other than the bride split the costs as well (I’m in the US). I’d prob go with one room since the girls all only know the bride. Pick the option you like best, tell them all the cost and ask to be paid up front (I had so many girls bail for my BFFs party and stressed over the remaining bill). Say “here’s my plan, let me know by next week if you are uncomfortable sharing rooms and want to discuss something else…”
Post # 5
anonybee0810: Go with whatever you think everyone will enjoy the most but don’t feel like you need to be forking out the big bucks, no good friend expects their bridesmaids/MOH to go broke paying for these things and you shouldn’t be expected to! Every hens/shower i’ve ever gone to, people cover their own costs.
Post # 6
anonybee0810: I’ve only ever seen everyone coming to the bachelorette pay their own costs (whether they are bridesmaids or not) and split costs for the bride.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I think one room will be fine. Let’s be honest, it’ll be more fun! Just treat it like a slumber party. After some dirnks and whatnot, you can all go to the room and watch sappy movies like “Sleepless in Seattle” or funnier ones like “Bridesmaids”. Assuming the wedding isn’t too close to the bachelorette, I think it would be fun to stay up pretty late, and at that point, nobody cares too much about sleeping arrangements.
Post # 8
Ckasnoff: The bride doesn’t like any spa services (she’s been before, doesn’t like strangers touching her).
gingerkitten: The bride doesn’t like to sit through movies, unfortunately. Also, the wedding is just three days after the bachelorette.
Thanks for the suggestions/comments! The other girls and I (not the bride) will be splitting the costs, I just wasn’t sure if I should pay a little extra on my part to get some extra special accommodations. Thanks 🙂
Post # 9
anonybee0810: honestly, as Maid/Matron of Honor (and sole BM), cover yours and hers–room, dinner. then anyone else who’s attending should be paying their own way. basically, bride should have hers covered, y’all split everything else (and the everything else is up to you guys as far as how much is okay).
Post # 10
anonybee0810: I agree with PPs – one room for a slumber-party style night. It will let the girls get to know each other (and guarantee they all know at least one person in the room, since they all know the bride). If not movies, maybe board games and bring brownies or have a cake or something?
Post # 11
anonybee0810: I would get one nice room with two double beds. If it had a couch, that would be great to— if it is only one night. If it is more than one night, two rooms.
As a Maid/Matron of Honor like person (the Maid/Matron of Honor was under 21 and not invited to the bachelorette– don’t flame me, not my call!), I paid extra for certain things at the bachelorette. I was also the only one in a dual income household and the highest earner. I got the T-shirts, groceries, and some snacks for the room.
I would do a “slumber party” style with games (bring some) and chit chatting. It can be a lot of fun.
Post # 12
anonybee0810: all the hen parties I’ve been to all the guests have split all the costs (except maybe silly accessories and that sort of stuff)