- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2015
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I don’t think I can do that and do the story justice.
My brother and I have not been on even keel for a few years. He apparently has things he resents me for, most of which revolve around how much my dad supported me through college and buying my first house. All of this was unknown to me until it was the weekend of my niece’s first birthday party. I found out through my dad I was uninvited to the event. I was crushed. I was angry.
I will not list all the resentments he has against me, most of which are out of my control. I have things too that I should resent him for (putting me through hell in the latter part of my teenage years battling sobriety), but I don’t because we’re adults, and that’s what adults do. They forgive and forget. He seems to be fixated on money, and always brings up our mother’s will when we’re together (she’s only 60!) and who should “get what”. He forgets that our dad put him through rehab about 5 times, spending easily over $40,000 to save his life. Yet because I had my education payed for I am the bad guy?
I also have not lived up to his expectations of what an aunt should act like. In August I started my first year of teaching (so, busy!). In October I got the news that I had an ovarian cyst that had to be removed. In December I had the surgery to remove it. The week after that I started to experience excruciating back pain. Had an MRI and found out I had a bulging disc that was causing the pain that would literally cripple me, causing me to curl up on the floor crying. I can say without a doubt my mind was on how much pain I was in, not how good of an aunt I was being. (I have since been going to PT, and have had a 95% improvement!)
A lot of this I think stems from his wife, who I am convinced hates me and my parents. I think she pushes him to do hurtful things like uninvite me to his daughter’s birthday party.
So, as of yet, they have not received a save the date card, and I don’t plan on sending them an invitation until I get an apology for their abhorrent behavior. My dad has been supportive and has said, if six months before the date he hasn’t made up with me, he’s going to sit him down and tell him he’s not allowed to contact any of our family who’ll be in town. That’s hijacking my day.
Am I right in omitting my brother? I just can’t stand the thought of having two people at my wedding who probably hate me, and will be talking behind my back about how much money I’m spending on the wedding (hers cost $90K or so I hear, just so you know), and them expecting compensation from my father for what they’re not “getting” too.