(Closed) as the song goes "waiting is the hardest part"

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
522 posts
Busy bee

@lalalyanne:  I wasn’t clear from the timeline how long you have officially been dating? I see you’ve lived together for two years but I couldn’t figure out exactly how long you’ve been girlfriend/boyfriend.

Have you told him that you want to be done having kids by 30? Or has he discussed a timeframe in which he might propose?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to hammer out a rough estimate like he’ll propose in the next year and a half or something.

Other than that I’d kind of keep off the topic for a while, he seems like he’s definitely going to propose but for some men it takes more time for them to work up the courage to ask.

If I were you I’d set a deadline in my head like maybe December ’13 and if there haven’t been inroads in that time I’d sit down with him and reassure myself that we’re on the same page.

Good luck!

Post # 5
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Haha, I read the title of your thread, and I’m always reminded of the Simpsons episode where Homer is desperately waiting for his background check (3 days) to clear so he can get himself a gun. 

Post # 7
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

“before I go utterly insane and take away my chance of ever getting proposed to by doing it myself or becoming an emotional nightmare!”


I did both of those things! I proposed to Fiance after I had pretty much lost it. And I’m much saner having my answer but I am a bit saddened by the fact that I didn’t get a proposal. Still Fiance is a bit traditional and still wants propose his way. Of course having been engaged for 7 months I’ve got a little bit of a bone to pick with him about that.


So my advice: If the proposal is more important than the answer, suck it up and shut up. Because with the aid I hindsight I now know that dropping hints once every 6 weeks for nearly a year was pressuring Fiance. And if you get to the point where you NEED an answer. I would suggest asking. Because at that point the alternative is giving him an ultimatum and never knowing if he proposed because you force his hand or not. If you propose he has to make the decision to step up or step aside.


While my story is a bit unusual and there are days I’m a bit down about not getting a proposal, it was worth it 99% of the time. And when he comes home and says “I can’t wait to marry you.” I know means it. My Fiance is not a flowers and jewelry romantic either (as much as I wish he was some days) but he is great about the little things. You have a wonderful man that loves you.

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