(Closed) Ashamed of your wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you feel that your wedding is subpar to some other weddings you have seen?
    No way! I loved everything about it! : (47 votes)
    53 %
    Maybe a little.. : (34 votes)
    39 %
    I hated how my wedding turned out! : (5 votes)
    6 %
    Other... : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    No matter what…a wedding is about two people, in love, committing to spend the rest of their lives together. No one should feel bogged down or “ashamed” because of details, which are nice, but not really important in the grand scheme of life.

    Post # 5
    Member
    313 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Just because someone’s wedding appears “picture perfect” on WB does not mean that they necessarily had a perfect wedding.  Maybe there was drama or there were actually some things they didn’t end up being too pleased with, like they didn’t finish a certain DIY project on time and so they had to leave that detail out and stressed about it.  As PinkPinstripes mentioned, weddings are about the marriage taking place.  Years down the road, if someone asks about your wedding, you’re not going to tell them about your awesome accessories or beautiful centerpieces, you’re going to talk about the memories that were made and how joyful it was.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3367 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Oh, I don’t know.  I think you can love the emotions of your wedding (the vows, your Fiance in a suit waiting to see you, sharing the moment w/ loved ones) and still not like how some of the details came out.  I’ll admit it.  I was embarrased at how some things turned-out.  I thought it could have been more cohesive and that the main person helping me disregarded my plans.  My ceremony was wonderful~ the reception… meh.  I’m just glad I live in a small town and no one really cares about “the look.”

    Post # 8
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Not going to lie; I’m struggling with this right now. My wedding is in 2 weeks and I’ve become so anxious about it being subpar. Fiance and I are on a very modest budget. We’ve cut corners anywhere possible and I’ve DIY’d several projects to help, but I’m just afraid that we’ve stretched everything too thin. I’m completely paranoid that it’s going to be a train wreck and all of the 100+ people who attend are going to be absolutely appalled at our horrible little sideshow of a wedding. My anxiety has eaten at me to the point that I’ve been subconciously avoiding anything wedding related. 

    Logically, I know that it doesn’t matter what other people think. The important thing is that I’m finally going to be marrying the man I love. BUT logical thoughts aren’t my stong suit. That irrational fear just keeps worming it’s way back into my brain to spoil the whole thing. Ugh! 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If someone doesnt like the way my wedding turns out that is their problem! My wedding is my Wedding and its what I want no one should make me feel like my wedding (Or anyone elses) isnt good enough! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    My husband and I were worried about this.  We had a lot of little projects that we weren’t sure what people would think of them.  We had stuff you almost never see, like a shave ice vendor and legos in the shapes of chinese characters that are typical for a wedding.  Every time we thought we’d gone off the deep-end we tried to ask ourselves what we would think if we saw these things at someone else’s wedding.  That usually helped push us to either reign in our ideas to make them a little more refined or make them look BETTER than our half-ass first attempts. 

    I think what others have said is so true though, you never have everything go perfectly or as planned.  I think the trick is to have a few projects that you are extremely proud of and then just let the day come as it will and make some happy memories.  And don’t compare your wedding to anyone else’s once it’s over, because it’s yours and you did it–many people can’t even get that far.

    Post # 11
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    As long as you’re happy with your wedding screw everyone else. Mine will not extravagant by a long shot, but its completely Fiance and I. A bit nerdy, dorky, fun lol.

    @MrsKubes13: *HUGS* I love DIY, were doing that too in alot of ways :). You and your hubby are going to have a great time and that’s all that matters 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    P.S. I think the easiest way to avoid this feeling too is to make sure you get really good value out of your vendors.  Nothing can piss you off faster and make the day feel subpar than not getting what you wanted/paid for.  Make sure to get referrals, meet and test all your vendors beforehand–get samples, do trials, send pictures, and communicate whenever possible.  And hire people that are passionate about what they do and not just into contributing to wedding factories!

    Post # 13
    Member
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    It has crossed my mind to be nervous about this…

    but then Fiance reminds me that we’re not getting married to put on a big show for everyone else. 

    Ultimately a WEDDING is only one day in a MARRIAGE…

    Anyone could have a beautiful wedding and a complete and total train-wreck of a marriage. 

    My wedding may or may not be a glorious and beautiful…but I know DAMN good and well that my MARRIAGE will be!!!!!!!! 

    🙂 

    Post # 15
    Member
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I’m a little nervous about feeling like my wedding will be subpar. I hope that the day of I’ll be so giddy with excitement about marrying my man that I won’t notice the imperfect decor and anything that could go wrong.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2433 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’ve been to over-the-top weddings as well as very low-budget affairs. In all honesty, I am much more impressed by things the couple does to make their relationship, their wedding, and the foundation for their marriage stand out. Such as writing their own, heartfelt vows, playing meaningful songs or including sentimental poems/readings, giving a heartfelt thank you toast at the reception, etc.

    I don’t like “cookie cutter” weddings where things are completely impersonal and reflect nothing about the couple. Add in touches of yourselves as a couple. Honestly, my favorite moments from our wedding included our personalized vows, two solos by a friend of the family which were beautiful and he barely charged us anything for the service, and two readings done during the ceremony by my cousins. These elements (besides the solos) didn’t cost us a thing. However, after the ceremony, so many guests commented how intimate and warm the ceremony was, and how much it was a reflection of us.

    There are so many things you can add in which make your wedding meaningful which don’t have a pricetag!!

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