(Closed) Asian weddings and Thank you cards?

posted 5 years ago in East Asian
  • poll: Thank you cards, yes or no?
    Yes, it is polite : (13 votes)
    50 %
    Doesnt really matter.. most asian weddings dont send thank you cards : (13 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    haha, that is totally typical of asian weddings. Of the 6-7 weddings ive been to, ive only gotten one thank you card…

    Post # 5
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @lstyle25:  I don’t really know… I’ve attended a few south Asian weddings and never received a thank you card. I’d probably default to the culture of your attendees though.  If most come from a culture that expects thank you notes, 10 minutes to avoid offending your nearest and dearest sounds like a good use of time to me. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    14441 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Yeah, I think traditional Asians dont normally do thank you cards.  I think part of it is that they make sure to make rounds during dinner to each table to toast exchange congratulations and thanks you.  And it’s pretty expected that guest will give cash, and in an effort for “face” usually a fairly generous amount.  I almost feel like ettiquite lays more on the guests to give a nice gift than the recipient for give a formal thank you.  We’re a little backwards like that.  I went ahead and sent thank you’s to all the older generation Asians that werent ‘expecting’ one anyways.

    Post # 9
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I am clearly not an expert here, but a co-worker of mine married a man of Asian descent.  She told me that at their wedding, all the guests would come up to the couple, typically, the husband, and place a red envelope (containing money) in the couple’s hands.  The no one knew who it came from, how much was given from a specific person, and no thank you cards were expected.

    I could be completely off-base here, but its possible that is part of a long standing tradition.  But once again, I have never been to a wedding for people of Asian descent.

    Post # 10
    Member
    14441 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @lstyle25:  Standard thank you for cash gifts.  Thank you for celebrating with us and for your generous gift, which we will use to save for our future together. … I’m not even really sure that some of my relatives could read it. =)

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Interesting…. We sent thank you cards to everyone. The ones in the older generation we sent thank you cards written in Chinese to them. Basically we thanked everyone for their attendance if they attended and all of them, we thanked them for their well wishes and generosity. During the reception, we went to every table and toasted and thanked the guests; so we did both…cards and thanking in person.

    The PP stating the red envelopes and dollar amount not being known is new to me! We tracked every single gift dollar amount from every single recipient. Most Asian families I know do this so they know how much to “gift back” when the time comes.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m Asian but Darling Husband is not. We had maybe 15-20% Asians at our wedding, including family members. However, our wedding was definitely totally Western in style. I sent them all Thank You cards. I thought it would be a nice touch. We still went table to table thanking everyone that came. Our message was Thank You for coming and for their generosity. It was great to see them. For the cash gifts from people who couldn’t attend, it was that we missed them and wished they were there but thank you for their generosity. I wouldn’t put Thank You for the cash or for $XXX.

    The PP who said that their colleague got random red envelopes without names/cards is kind of unsual IMO. We had cash gifts from Asians of different ethnicities and they all came with a normal greeting card and names.

    To be fair, out of the 5-6 weddings we’ve attended recently, we didn’t get Thank You cards from anyone. The only one we did get was for a gift we gave for a couple whose Destination Wedding we couldn’t attend.

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