(Closed) Ask a hostess or a bee!

posted 9 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

why do parents go crazy around weddings? i’ve had more fights with my mum during the past 9 months of planning than the past 3+ years!

Post # 5
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

nybride, my theory is that weddings are so emotional for parents that sometimes, they go a little nutsy.  I know our wedding planning process turned my Mother-In-Law, who is one of the sweetest ladies on the planet into a crazy person!  I also think that weddings can put pressure on various family members.  For example, I think my Mother-In-Law felt all this pressure to be the perfect hostess for her family and guests.  As a result, she stressed about every little thing–even though she wasn’t at all involved in the planning process.

I feel like maybe everyone’s experiencing so many emotions–happiness, excitement, anxiety, stress, etc–that sometimes that overflow of emotions can manifest in fights. 

Just try and concentrate on how much you love your mum and how special she is to you.  Hang in there.  We’ve all been there.

Post # 6
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

I dont think its parents, I think its everyone!  Darling Husband and I fought alot during wedding planning and it was mostly all wedding related.  I think the stress just gets to everyone and when stress gets to me I get very frustrated and irrational at times.  Your mom probably has had her idea of what kind of wedding you were going to have since you were little and it may be hard for her to let go of that now that you are planning your wedding.  What are your fights about?  Maybe shes upset she isnt as involved as she thought she would be?  Plus if your parents are paying for the wedding, there are bound to be budget related arguements!

Post # 7
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

she had her “ideal” wedding with my sister – or so i thought.. it’s been everything:

adding people i don’t care (my sister’s inlaws!) to the guest list after invites have already been printed – my parents had 2 months before that to confirm and reconfirm the guest list. they just said “take it from your sister”

insisting that all our siblings sit together at the reception – which led to 2 wks of careful negotiation on my part, only to have her say that she really didn’t care about the seating

having me coordinate between her friends / guests who are coming – they need “special” attention to show the appropriate respect – but she’s not reaching out to them herself.

her response on a lot of things is: “well there’s plenty of time yet to decide that, we can play that by ear” then when i make a decision, she’s all upset that it’s not how she would have done it.

wedding’s in under 3 wks. they’re here for the week leading up to the wedding. i’m focusing on minimizing one on one time with her so i don’t blow up at her. not ideal but it’s just a survival thing at this point.

Post # 9
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

My theory is that it’s about appearances and other people will think.  Since culturally this is the “last thing” you do for a daughter, as a parent (last big, public thing, of course) there’s pressure that ranges from wanting to adequately convey your affection for your daughter (and their new husband) or son and new wife, to demonstrating how you are doing financially through your daughter’s wedding, to wanting to show that your daughter (or son) is respectful of you and your wishes — there are likely as many reasons as there are people out there!

Another element *might* be the re-living through the kids thing, particularly if the parents own wedding was not what they would have wanted.  

That’s just my 2 cents on the topic!  Smile

Post # 10
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i’m just going to tell myself to breathe and count to 10 – or walk out of the room. she was assigned the dinner party we’re having in my hometown. but apparently that’s not enough to keep her occupied! and since almost none of her friends, etc are coming to our wedding in ny, i didn’t think any of it would matter but apparently it does.

things they should tell you when you get engaged!!

Post # 11
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Why is having a Bio not such a popular thing on weddingbee? or is it just that I can´t find the extensive ones?

Post # 12
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

@ daniela.borrego – For me, I had done a bio on wedding bee but it didnt have too much early on because I hadnt had my wedding yet so it was all planning stuff.  Alot of the stuff I wanted to wait until I had more pictures and experiences to talk about.  Now I love adding stuff to my bio and am almost done 🙁 I still have to do the rehearsal dinner but I dont have much after that.  Alot of people did start getting bios up when they were featuring them on the blog, which they still do (but there was a bio post-a-thon type thing a month or so ago that really got me to posting).  Maybe they will do one again soon?

Post # 13
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Hotel Vitale

I’ve been too busy blogging to have a bio- maybe some day I’ll get around to it.

Post # 14
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception

I’ve been very sporadic on my bio… And i’m having trouble uploading my pro pics. So I’ve kinda put it on hold.

Post # 15
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I think because Bios are relatively new, a lot of us haven’t gotten around to updating them.  I’ve been meaning to spend time with mine, but I was waiting for all our pro photos to be done to add them in.  This is good motivation–I should get on this!

Post # 16
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@naangel55 Why can´t I see your bio? only your coments come up.

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