(Closed) Ask her to be a bridesmaid… or don't ask?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ask anyway, and when/if she gets pregnant just talk to her and see if it still works out. 🙂

Post # 3
76 posts
Worker bee

There are worse things than being a pregnant bridesmaid.  Ask her!

Post # 4
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would definitely include her since there’s a good chance that she would have hurt feelings… and it might come back to bite you down the road with family matters. More often than not, they never forget!!!

I also wouldn’t worry about pregnancy or a baby – you could just say upfront that should she get preggo, and it starts to feel like too much, that you wouldn’t be offended if she were to back out. 

I understand that the Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts are expensive, but long-term price of not inviting both sisters would be very high!

Good luck 🙂

Post # 5
553 posts
Busy bee

Can’t you ask her but tell her that if something changes with her situation that you will understand? Also ask her in such a way to let her know that you would be honored to have her but do not want her to feel obligated. 

Post # 6
47342 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Asking a woman to be a bridesmaid doesn’t have to be a Pinterest moment. If it’s not worth the time and trouble to make your little gift box if she says no, then don’t do it. You can always simply ask her in person.
Make it clear to her that you know they are TTC and if the timing is wrong, you will understand if she declines. Tell her she is also welcome to say yes, and later back out if the need arises.

Post # 7
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Are you asking both sisters?

Post # 8
4689 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Ask her!

Post # 9
927 posts
Busy bee

Ask her, but dont have too high expectations of her time or money if she does end up pregnant. 

Post # 10
1841 posts
Buzzing bee

It depends what you expect from your bridesmaids.

– Are you happy for her to possibly miss your bachelorette because she is 6 months pregnant?

– How much money do you expect your bridesmaids to spend?

– How will you feel if she is 8 and a half months pregnant at your wedding and will need to sit down during the ceremony?

– Or if she missed the wedding because she is in labour?

I have a bridesmaid who was trying to conceive (is pregnant now) but what was important to me was that I have the people I am closest to supporting me on my big day. I knew that no matter how pregnant she got she would be there if I had a break down and called her crying about some wedding planning thing that wasn’t working. It didn’t matter if she was going to have to sit down, or if we couldn’t order her dress until closer to the date, or if she would have to bring a newborn baby to the wedding. I would have been upset if she missed the wedding because she went into labour but not at her, just that she missed sharing our day.

Provided you feel the same way, ask her, and explain all that to her. 


Post # 11
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ask both sisters! It’s totally worth it for family harmony

Post # 12
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You should definitly ask her. I was in my brothers wedding three weeks after my son was born, I would have been devastated not to have been asked (we are very close).  

Post # 13
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
lauren2on:  I found myself in the same exact position as you. My sister in law was trying to conceive. I asked her to be a bridesmaid anyway. Well…. she got pregnant and her due date was 2 weeks after our wedding. I told her that it was her decision wether to continue or not. She decided not to. I was happy for her either way and I knew that we would be able to work something out, regardless of her decision.

If you have to ask another person to replace your pregnant Future Sister-In-Law, I’m sure they won’t get butthurt about it. I know my cousin didn’t….. 

Post # 14
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Ask anyway!

The topic ‘Ask her to be a bridesmaid… or don't ask?’ is closed to new replies.

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