(Closed) Ask too many people

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

OH dear!!

Well.. start writing a list girl, thats the only thing your going to get it clear in your mind. If I was in your situation 

1. would cut down on bridesmaids but involve them in the wedding still. I.e One does a reading or something.

2. write a well formulated letter to Maid/Matron of Honor. She may just lift her game

3. I also think you will need to sit down and narrow things down top threes on everything i.e, chose your top three venues. If one turns out not suitable you go the next, but you do not bring another venue into the fold to replace one of your missing three. It will settle you then. Worked for me!

Good luck

Post # 4
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My bestie did this with her wedding – I think she may have gotten up to 9 bridesmaids! In the end she did a big freak out and had to have a bit of a chat some of the girls about how she really wanted for them to be involved but that she just couldn’t have that many – she mainly focused the reason around their budget and that they had over-extended themselves and in the end she got it down to 3 BM’s. She worded it really nicely and generally found them other stuff to do ie. readings and no one was really too concerned about it. I know some people on here say that firing BM’s is a definitely No Go but I think if you word it well you should get what you want and still have your friend at the end of it – also, if people aren’t pulling their weight demote them or get rid of them. The whole idea of BM’s is to help you out and be there for you during the whole process – if they’re not doing that they’re not worth the drama! Or at least that’s my opinion! Good luck with everything!

Post # 5
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Casa Real at Ruby Hill Winery

I personally think you cannot un-ask bridesmaids. I have 8 and I’ve felt like that’s too many at times, but I could never ask any of them to step down, because at the end of the day there’s a reason why I asked them. I would think twice before asking any of them to step down.

Post # 7
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Even if I could afford it and wanted to be supportive, if I got a mass email calling all the bridesmaids to task and asking people to step down, I would likely respond with:

“Peace out Bridezilla – good luck to the other ‘maids!”

I think it is quite tactless to do it as a mass email, calling (or meeting them for coffee) each personally would be much preferable.

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