(Closed) Asked bridesmaid, no answer

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
853 posts
Busy bee

I think that everything you did here was perfectly acceptable! You even went out of your way to make sure cousin z understood your reasoning! I don’t see why they would be upset at all, and it’s not fair of cousin p to not bother replying to you. Maybe if I were you, I would sit down with them both and try to explain the situation again. Also, maybe if you had something specific in mind for cousin z, that might help. Maybe a reading during the ceremony? Maybe your aunt/uncle could say something to them as well? I think that they’re being pretty unreasonable and unfair in this situation.

Post # 4
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think that was really awesome of you to talk to cousin z in advance! Really, you did all you can do. It sucks that you’re cousin is acting like that, but she should really base her decision to be in your wedding on your relationship with her and not with her sister.

Post # 5
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, family drama was the thing I hated most about wedding planning. You did nothing wrong and should not feel guilty over it at all. You kept cousin Z’s feelings in mind and talked to her about it – she should have been honest. You just can’t make everyone happy – someone’s always gonna complain. Your cousin shouldn’t be acting like a child; she should at least be an adult and confront you with it. 

Post # 6
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it is really sweet to give a gift basket, but it also kind of implies or puts an obligation on the receiver. She may feel that since you’ve already given her a nice gift, she has to accept, which she really doesn’t seem comfortable doing. I don’t think you did anything wrong with choosing your maids, other than this. I would just reach out to her and explain.

Post # 7
1796 posts
Buzzing bee


You took the words right out of my mouth

Post # 8
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Passive-aggressive behaviour, like this, makes me nuts. She should have at least let you know, directly, that she received it. Theoretically, she could have had to check her finances, or maybe her job is up in the air or something – there are lots of potential reasons. Not responding at all is rude.

To be upset because you didn’t also ask her sister is a bit rude as well. I understand that siblings stick together, but it’s not her wedding.

How much time has gone by since you asked her? I would say if she doesn’t get back to you soon, contact her and let her know that you’re ok with her saying no, if she’s going to have issues. Better than her being sulky and sucking the fun out of your wedding.

Post # 9
3687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@chercee:  I’d say about eight months have gone by.

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