Post # 1
SO I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 1/2 years now. We’ve been living together for the past year and a half-not alone but with a bunch of people and we both have separte rooms. We’ve both remained pure in our relationship, no one’s perfect but for the most part we’ve managed to stay celibate…which at 26 and living under the same roof is kinda hard I will say :/….
Well we’ve talked about marriage for the past 2 years and we both very much want to get married…we’ve set goals and have reached them, gone to counseling you name it! Well my father spilled the beans 2 months ago that my boyfriend had asked for his permission to marry me this past Christmas! (um 8 months ago…..) 🙁 1. I don’t have the best relationship with my dad and so it totally took all of the surprise out of it for me 2. I immediately start to think whats wrong and why hasn’t he proposed??
So I confronted my boyfriend about it and he just keeps saying it’s not time and we’ll get there, and not ready yet….blah blah blah….he turns 30 in 2 weeks. My heart is so broken because all I want to do is move on with my life and be able to share it with him but I don’t know how long I’m supposed to just wait around!
Any advice? Any one have a similar situation??
Post # 3
If he asked your dad for his blessing his intentions are clear… he wants/intends to propose. I would just try and relax and let him do it in his own time and let him bring it up in the future if he wants to talk about it. Maybe he has something special planned for a certain date/time. I know that if men feel like they are on a timeline or feel pressure they can backpedal fast. I wouldn’t assume anything is wrong unless he tells you so. If this is the man you want to marry and spend your rest of your life with does the time frame really matter?
Post # 4
@ladyinwaiting4years: Are you two in a place in your lives where you could move into a place alone together if you got married soon? I would assume he would want to wait until he knew you could a) afford a wedding within a year and b) be able to move out together. No one wants to be a married couple with tons of roommates!
Post # 5
sorry you are going thru this 🙁
Coming from past experience, maybe he is still saving for the ring? it took my boyfriend about a year to save for my e-ring & the few months before he proposed, all i did was complain that we werent engaged yet…had i known that he was saving still & had it all planned out already, i wouldve just shut my mouth & waited patiently…(if 9 yrs isnt patient i dont know what is lol)
have you asked him to give you a timeline as to when he’ll propose? like 1 year? if he does, then i wouldnt say anything else about it after that (althought hard i know)
Post # 6
@ladyinwaiting4years: He could still be saving. It took my BF a hot minute to save for mine as well.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle
It took my FI 2 months after asking my for my family’s permission AND he had the ring. He’s probably got a special date or something planned. Mine was for my birthday… maybe he wants to do xmas or NYE?? His intentions are there… but I know waiting sucks
Post # 8
I wouldnt worry! My DH asked my dad before we were even together for a year yet. He ended up proposing on our 2 year anniversary. Sometimes it just takes a while to plan the perfect engagement, save for ring etc.